[Overcastbutclearing]

I feel ugly , worthless, and stupid.
I don't feel like I belong anywhere in my life.
I feel very withdrawn. I don't want to be around anyone.
Encouragement is nice but it only takes the sting away for a brief moment or two.
I cannot get my act together.
I cannot figure out how to save myself from this despair.
I swear I want to be happy. I swear I want to have hope.
But, my mind is not registering these thoughts and taking them to the next level.
Instead, I feel gloomy. I feel lonely. I feel ugly, worthless and stupid.
I am tired of hearing myself talk about all of these feelings...and I am sorry to burden you. But what else should I do?
I don't even have the mind energy to journal because it keeps leading back to the same thing.
This is so frustrating. I hate it.
I would give anything to feel better.
Been on that cymbalta now for a week...at first it was making me hyper and a little high...now I am down further then before.
I just want to go away quietly....

[dottie]

Hi!

I feel the same as you do. It is a terrible yoke around one's neck. Hey...does it feel ANY better knowing that you truly are not alone and that even a total stranger -such as myself -can make a sincere post to you to let you know that I care. And others too!

[nothemama8]

Susu, if you could only see yourself through my eyes you would see a bright intelligent compassionate loving person, but then I'm very bias when it comes to my friends, I see no flaws only friends
Angie

[dottie]

I am on Cymbalta too. My Dr. said that it will also help with the chronic pain. I have Arthritis & Fibromyalgia.( Have had depression my whole life too. My brother took his own life last January..and I keep replaying his pain over and over. Probably because I could not prevent him.

[happy_bunny]

I'm sorry you feel this way and i hope you get the help you want, but to tell you the truth i feel the same in life, and more.

[BlueFaith]

((((sj0401)))) I'm sorry you feel so terrible. Know that you aren't alone. I feel the same way most of the time. I'm thinking and praying for you.

[Fuzzybear]

I feel the same way I don't know you well but I truly hope things get better for you.... and soon.

take care,
Fuzzy

[somebodyelse]

I feel the same way most of the time, and I also get sick and tired of talking about it.

Just know that you aren't alone and that other people, myself included, care about you.

[Overcastbutclearing]

Not feeling alone in this is a good thing...in a way.
But, at the same time upset that others feel just as horrible as me.
Do we believe in a brighter future?
Right now, I am not sure what I believe in.
Just trying to get by and pretending IRL to be okay so no one is overly worried.

[oksomaybeimnuts]

((((((((((((((Susan)))))))))))))- i don't have any great words of wisdom for you but i do know that you are anything BUT ugly, worthless and stupid. And i know that you are very loved.

[Hope4me2]

sj

[walkswithspiritbear]

((((((((((sj))))))) I don't know you yet, but I know this much if you were any of those things you would not have found this site............... I know how you feel as do many else here.... just keep talking Linda

[seeker1950]

Hi, SJ,
So sorry you are feeling this way. If this med is something your doc prescribed, I hope as you give it time, you will begin to see improvement. There is no reason to live life feeling this way when there are meds out there to help you!!!
Seeker

[(JD)]

((((sj))))) I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Keep track of your feelings on the cymbalta... remember, the drug companies admit that their drugs don't work but for 30% of the ppl ... so even less for those who try them! As you may have read, I had a bad experience with this med (but then, I have trouble with meds.) Keep on trying... depression tells us lies... we are not worthless.

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((SJ)))))))))))))))

I felt each and every word in your post. It is very frustraiting when nothing works. Not the meds, not journaling, not T, not anything. I am so sorry your feeling like this. I too take comfort hearing from others who feel the same but at the same time, I wish no one would every have to feel such pain, dispair and lonliness.

Sometimes nothing works for me. I try to do everything I have been taught by my T to help my depression but sometimes I think its a never ending battle. Other times the fighter in me comes alive and I sware, I will overcome this.

It helps to be alone. I know some people may tell you that isolation isnt the answer. But I dont think its so much isolating rather then not wanting people to see me like that or making other people as miserable as I am.

I like to sit on my deck and look out at the sky. Its soothing for me. I can let go of my thoughts for a bit and just look at the color and the clouds and it gives me a sense of peace.

I hope that you feel some relief soon. Try to find the fighter inside of you to help you through this.

As always, continue to post as much as you need to. I will do all I can to help in anyway I can, even if its just listening.

[dayzee9]

(((((((((((sj0401 )))))))))))))

I am so sorry you are feeling so hopeless, but I know from having a Major Depressive Disorder; these "episodes" are inevitable & make life quite unbearable............Would you believe me if I said, "it will pass" Yeah, lousey answer....

Maybe you check out the "quotes" I posted for "jmo"??? (In General)

It's late; and I think it might be worth your while?

May peace find you soon................DAYZEE9

[ogette]

I am fairly new to the forum, (and reaching out to others is hard for me...) I wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this, it seems as if others have felt this way as well...

I have no words of wisdom for you, but wanted to let you know that I feel this way much of the time, and know the awful weight and burden this is to carry. It's so very hard when your feeling this way.

I am trying to find that speck of hope to keep moving on, and I believe that it is there for everyone...I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way...

please know that you are not alone....and that I am pulling for you.....

Jan

[Overcastbutclearing]

Trying to hold it all in and not make any one concerned and now I am starting to feel very sick to my stomach.
I am not sure...but I may inplode today.
I just want to scream, scream, scream.
I am so sad, hurt and miserable.
I cannot go on with all this is my head....

[tamzinrose]

God, I could have written that myself. They are like the exact same words I use. I feel the same.

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((((SJ))))))))))))))))))))

[complic8d]

(((((sj))))) I know how you feel too. It hurts to know that others feel this way too, but the fact that others can understand means a lot. Please take care. HUGS!

[Overcastbutclearing]

Just wanted to say still sticking in there.
I was very sick the past 24 hours...bad stomach flu.
I am just starting to feel better.
Have a lot of swirling thoughts in my head about my lack of self worth. Need to sort them out.
Journaling hasn't really helped me this past week.
I don't feeling like death is the answer today...But I do feel like I need some major relief from my head.