[LadyDragus]

<font color="#880000"> you know I thought things were getting better boy was I so worng.. he yelled at me and said doing make me out to make him stupid.. all i was trying to do was make a point that we used to have nights and weekends at 7pm a year ago, and he got all bent out of shape... .ssheess so big deal right it insued a yelling match I can not tak this sort of %#@&#!.. sorry aobut the lanugage but this type of stress on top of my deperssion I can not handle..
I am already spriling down to my inner core with all that is going on with my childern and not being able to see my oldest as much as I want..
Now this petty %#@&#!..

I do not know what to do he said I made him "stupid" I do not make his out to be like that all i was saying is that when I frist got my phone is that I used to be able to call my mom at 7pm and it was inculded in my night and weekend plan back in 2001 now he is all pissed off at me and doing god only knows what to try and prove me wrong again if he is not write he is so pissy anymore and I can not take this.. (this is the man I am marrying) This type of behivor is tearing me up...
I just do not know what to do about this anymore.. I do not know what to do.. how do i react to him
How do I talk to him.I am sitting here ingoring him whihc is what I do when I am scared because if the yelling at me, afarid of more things he may or may not do..

</font>

(((((((((Lady dragus)))))))))

I don't know what to say so I just hope a hug will help.

Caroline

[LadyDragus]

Thank you sweetie.

the hugs do help..

I just hope this all will blow over soon..

[wisewoman]

I don't know your relationship or the wedding plans. I guess I would wonder if you really want to get married with the stress you are under. Also, if you are getting married can it be a simple, almost free affair? We were so broke, always have been I guess, we picked flowers, gave the Unitarian Minister 50 dollars, paid our marriage license and blood work.We brought champagne and fruit, crackers and cheese and drove home. Sometimes I think we make weddings, and funerals too pomp and circumstance and can do it without oweing everyone when we are done. Personal opinion here, you know how shy I am about sharing those right? Be well. As for cell phones, I don't know where you are but your current phone is probably good enough for a track phone or Verizon Pay as you go. I couldn't live without my cell phone but I hate it, cost a fortune for son and I.

[LadyDragus]

my wedding is all paid up for the most part.. the preacher is a lady and already paid for had that done ealiry in the year.. dress bought last year, outfit for after wedding bought last year also..

His oufit alreayd done, too, all the childerns outfits boutght too..

and yes I still love him, this was just a set back today on my part, because of my deperssion and I know that.. we have talked about it online this eving and today, I just was scared because he yelled at me, for something we neither one could remeber and both were right on...

he looked and I looked and we went and asked and it was at one point at my time and then they switched it to the time he remembers and now it is at this certian tme and I can not afford a pay as you go as I run a business out of my home and I use way to many minutes over 1300 a month.. it is cheaper to have contract and new phones will have to be bought in januray or Dec which ever Cingular says so.. Thye are upgrading there system and our old phones wont work anymore on the new one...

Just part of this new Teconlogly society that we all tend to love to hate.

[(JD)]

((((dragon)))) I had to make a point with cingular about my 7pm nights also, as they automatically sign and re-sign ppl with the late nights. I said no way, I had it and I want it and I'm not renewing for less than I had before., and I want more! I got it. Already, I have in mind what I will ask for next time! (I renew annually, so it's kind of kewl.)

Gotta learn how to "fight" fairly. Have you two been in pre wedding therapy? I mean, REAL stuff... not the general preacher questioning... my church has a video they send out trying to help marriages (before and during.) TC

[LadyDragus]

he wont go to that stuff since we do not go to a "normall" church on a regural basis.. We are sorta getting marreid by a precher that has her license but she does not preach at a church that has Sunday masses and all that jazz..

I wanted to go to pre-marital counsuling but he says we dont have any porblems.. (ya right) .. it is all in my head and I will just have to deal with it like I did today..
This will blow ove like all the other little tiffes we have and I will go on in life like I normally do cause it is all part of me.. Not him.. lke normall..

I am not meant to be happy I have seen my futher and it is just like it is now.. Safe sound and with someone who will put up with my ********.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((((L D))))))))))))))))))))

[dayzee9]

{{{{{LD }}} A Very Special Message:

"Put The Club Down!!!!" Quit torturing yourself!

Back up & check out the "situation w/ a new perspective"

Really stretch open your mind & heart.........and leave that
club on the ground? You deserve SO much better! dayzee9

[LadyDragus]

well we have talked all of this over and maybe he will go to counusling with me YAHOO!!!!!!

this is somethign I have been trying to get him to do for over a year..

[LadyDragus]

thank you fuzzy..

I think I am giong to crawl in our big PIT we have here..

go into hiding and see if it helps heal my wounded pride or whatever is hurting right now..

I am huritng all over and I can not handle much more of it..

my deperssison is coming back full force and I have not a clue in the world why