Really struggling

I am not doing very well. My depression is back despite the meds. I have treatment resistend bipolar 2 disorder so it's hard to find the right meds for. Meds poop out quickly and I am at the point where there is nothing left for me to try.

I feel desperate. I have been having a lot of suicidal ideation. Everyday is a struggle. I think that I should be in the hospital, but who would take care of my mum if I were to go in the hospital?

I am crying all the time and I find it hard to get out of bed in the mornings. Some days I can't get and I lay there looking at the ceiling.

Could really use some support right now.

(((((((((((((Maxime)))))))))))))

Maxime,

I'm so sorry to hear you have been feeling especially low. I really think you should follow your instinct and go into the hospital.
Is your mom in a situation where she is physically dependent on you? Maybe you can ask a social worker or your therapist for some practical advice on how to deal with this situation. The truth is that you are feeling like you really need help. This is important. Please take care of yourself. Sending many hugs and thoughts for you to feel much better soon.

(((Maxime))) sending you some hugs...

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so bad right now. Have you told your doctor, therapist, etc. that your treatment isn't working? Maybe there's something else that can be tried?

And if you are feeling suicidal or that you might hurt yourself, PLEASE get some help. If your instincts are telling you "go to the hospital", I think you should listen. Or, if that's not really an option, can you call a suicide hotline or something? (I'm not sure what's available where you live.) And, you can always keep posting here on PC.

I understand what you mean about having to take care of your mom, but remember: if you don't take care of yourself, you won't really be able to take care of her either. Taking care of yourself is the responsible thing to do; it's not selfish. (and yes, i know from experience that this is easier said than done!)

I hope things improve for you soon.

Take care,
~MT

(((((((Maxime))))))) Sending you many hugs and positive thoughts.

If you are feeling suicidal, please call a crisis hotline or go to the hospital. Even if you are taking care of your mother, it's important to get help for yourself first. ESPECIALLY if your life is in danger.

Please keep posting here on how you're doing. I hope you feel better soon.

So sorry _ sending positive thoughts your way

((((Maxime))))

Knowing and understanding how you feel. Feeling such affinity with you right now and hoping with all I have that you are able to lift out of the depression as soon as you can.

Sending you hugs and support so that you know you are not alone and so that you don't feel lost,

Rhiannon

Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I have been calling the Crisis Centre a few times a day now. If things get worse, I can always stay there and will have liberty to leave when I want during the day (check on my mum etc). If I stay there and they find that I am not improving, then they will take me to the hospital.

I am probably going away tomorrow until Friday with my mum. I am worried that I won't have access to a phone. I guess we can come home if things get really bad.

I wish I didn't have to worry about my mum on top of everything else.

Thanks for reading and your support.

((((((((Maxime))))))))

How are you doing? I gather you are either away with your mum or you are in hospital right now. I just hope you are doing ok.

Maybe you could buy a cheap mobile phone so that you have the access to the crisis centre? some of them are so cheap now and they are a good option.

Please let us know how you are doing,

Rhiannon

Hi, I decided not to go to Vermont for a few days after all. I need to stay in the city close to resources. I do have a mobile phone, but I don't get reception in Vermont because there are so many trees around.

I have an appt. with my psychiatrist tomorrrow and hopefully he will have some suggestions.

Again, I really appreciate the caring response I have receive. I am not able to give support right now to others, but once I feel better I will.

Maxime
Take care and best wishes.

That is what most of my day consists of... laying and staring at a ceiling. That's only because I am bored to the point of sickness.

So you've tried every med that you could? None of them work? Maybe you just need the right blend of meds to get you going. I take 11 pills a day to sort my behavior out.