[Aardwolf]

I've posted a lot recently of different problems, ranging from financial, to depression, to family.

But suddenly it hit me just how hopeless I really feel.

I wake up like a zombie, getting through the day is like trying to battle through mud that goes up to your eyeballs.

The medication has taken away the last piece of attachment I really felt to this world.

Occasionally if I do feel something, but its either stress, or just nothing, a painful vast expanse of "space". Its the emotional pain which is so much worse than any physical pain I would ever have to endure.

Add to all this how I feel now. and I really am wondering what the hell I do next, if anything.

[tennisgrlcc]

i know what you mean ACQPL. It does get better. tell your T about how you feel and how you feel like the medication has taken away th elast piece of attchment you really felt to this world. if you ever need to talk im here.

[LittleMissSunshine]

medication shouldn't make you feel more distant, should bring u closer. talk to your doc, maybe it's not the right medication for u

[Aardwolf]

Thank you for your replies, they mean a lot to me.
I nearly couldn't reply to these because I feel so low. Nearly couldn't be bothered. How I managed to log in is beyond me.
Its ridiculous just how, spaced, I feel.

I probably should see my doc, but its just the fact that I actually have to pick up the phone and call him. It sounds trivial I know, but I just don't have enough energy right now for a conversation.

I hope it gets better.

Self harm and other issues aside, i've never been so low in my entire life. I've never had this little drive.

[Aardwolf]

I tried.
We called, we spoke, we set an appointment.
But I couldn't walk in the door, I just couldn't muster the strength to do it.

I'm sorry

[sundog]

(((((ACQPL))))) I'm really sorry you feel so bad. Well done for calling your doctor. I'm sorry you weren't able to keep the appointment, but I really hope you will try again. Is there someone who could take you to the appointment - a friend or family member - and wait in the waiting room for you? Perhaps it would help if you had some moral support?

I agree with the other posters who say that it doesn't sound as though you are on the right medication. Your anti-depressant shouldn't make you feel like a zombie and take away all your drive and motivation. And your doctor should be able to help you try some other options. You CAN feel better again if you get the right help. Please don't deny yourself that chance.

Wishing you all the best!

[Aardwolf]

I'll try again soon, not sure when, but I will.
And there isn't really, all my other friends have just gone to university again, so now there is no-one left.
Family is a big no-no.

And yes, I should probably change it, but for all intents and purposes, It doesn't let me get into nervous wrecks, panic, be anxious or feel much else. So in a way it is doing some positive things ?
It probably sounds like I pulled that from where the sun don't shine, but It makes sense to me..

[Merlin]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

I've posted a lot recently of different problems, ranging from financial, to depression, to family.

But suddenly it hit me just how hopeless I really feel.

I wake up like a zombie, getting through the day is like trying to battle through mud that goes up to your eyeballs.

The medication has taken away the last piece of attachment I really felt to this world.

Occasionally if I do feel something, but its either stress, or just nothing, a painful vast expanse of "space". Its the emotional pain which is so much worse than any physical pain I would ever have to endure.

Add to all this how I feel now. and I really am wondering what the hell I do next, if anything.

I was where you are at the start of August, so hopeless and despair that I didn't think that there was anything I could do to make me feel better.

I did manage to make myself contact my pdoc and with his help, and I change in medication, I feel better now and I have hope for the future again.

I hope that you too can reach out and get the help you need, cause there is something that you can do next.

[sundog]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

I'll try again soon, not sure when, but I will.
And yes, I should probably change it, but for all intents and purposes, It doesn't let me get into nervous wrecks, panic, be anxious or feel much else. So in a way it is doing some positive things ?
It probably sounds like I pulled that from where the sun don't shine, but It makes sense to me..

That makes sense to me too. But hopefully there is a medication that will prevent the panic and anxiety AND lift you out of depression. I'm still looking for that med too!! I have the opposite problem in that the Zoloft does help my depression, but my Anxiety and Panic Disorder are still rampant.

Sending you good thoughts! ((((ACQPL))))

[Aardwolf]

Hopefully..
And thank you. Same to yourself