Another miracle, please

You all were so helpful in my process of gender self-discovery and coming to terms with that, that I am hoping you can pull of the next miracle: a new job.

I have mentioned breifly that I have a horrible job that many would die for. I am a computer system adminstrator that sits 8 1/2 hours every day waiting for something to happen. Anything. But mostly just watch the clock turn. It may be very similar to a prisoner's day.

My past two jobs have been like this, more or less. The present one started off with a bang about 6 years ago and was very busy and exciting for about 2 years. The work load gradually tapered off to nearly nothing. They only keep me on because they need a system baby sitter, just in case. I stay on because it pays obscenely well for a job where I spend most of my day browsing internet and playing computer games.

You might ask "why don't you find something good to do with your time?" Good question. I have done that. In the last 10 years, mostly on work time, I started and nearly finished nursing school, taught myself flute and fiddle, read countless novels, learned a great deal about personal and business computers and networks, started/ran/closed a web retail business. I am truly sick of busy work and want an actual job that keeps me busy.

I have applied to quite a few businesses locally. It is a dismal outlook. The state I am in, Oregon, has the highest unemployment in the country.

What does this have to do with you all here? Depression is what. I am getting pretty bleak minded lately. It is not helped by the recent turn of weather to cool and cloudy and that is going to get quite a lot worse soon.

Thank you for listening. I am going get re-engaged with you all and see what happens. It was a good outcome before, I hope it will be a good one this time too.

Wherever you go, there you are

Assuming there were no obstacles of any kind, what would you like to be doing?

A couple of things from your post jump out at me. You started and almost finished nursing school. There is a big demand for nurses pretty much all over the world. Would finishing be an option?

You love music. I do too, and would love to be a professional musician, but I know that is very difficult. Is there anything related to the music field that you could get into?

Good luck!
Wendy

<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>

Wendy is right, there are always demands for people in the medical field. What made you stop before? That might be an option for something that interests you and pays well at the same time.

At the time I was in nursing school they were downsizing nursing jobs to lesser trained techs. As the nurses knew would happen, that was an incredibly dumb decision that led to laying off young nurses, overworking older nurses who quit/retired, and then a bad work environment that is hard to recruit into. I would have to start nursing school all over again, near the beginning. It is very, very intensive. My father, who is a retired doctor, said today's nursing school is comparable to medical school of 50 years ago. I could barely do it at age 40. At age 50, I just can't work that hard any more.

Music? I could be a street musician and have considered it. I am not good enough to be a pro, nor could I ever be as a one who learned as an adult. Learning music is like learning language. It must be done as a child or one will always struggle and never be fully fluent.

I have put in applications for many IT, office clerical, etc at several hospitals. I have put in to work in the local book chain, as well as the local pub chain, both who hire "alternative" types, like me, and where I would love to work. On Tuesday I am going to put in to work at Trader Joe's to stock and cashier. I am not quite to the point where I would take jobs that I would probably loath, like bus driver, or a chain grocery store. There seems no sense in that.

An alternative to working is to quit. I am retirement eligible and could get a meager pension and health care. It would be enough to live at close to a poverty level. That does not seem like a good alternative.

Another idea is to go over my bosses head and convince them that I should be laid off. I could get severance pay and unemployment pay. It would be pretty risky. If it failed, I would be in a very bad light with my boss and it would be hard to be around her.

In the meantime I will sound like an ungrateful whiner. I have an income. I have a nice house, spouse, and children.

I don't know. This was a stupid topic to bring up. More mid-life crisis stuff. Wanting to at least get a taste of doing something I like for the last few years.

Wherever you go, there you are

Can you retire and go to work at something you like better while getting retirement pay from the present job? Lots of people do that. Would you like working as a nurse's aid? Maybe your best bet is to stay with something in computers. There are some really great jobs in that field. How about free lancing in the computer field?

<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>

I don't think it's stupid Kv. It's important to have a job that fulfills you. Your there most of your day, most every day. To just sit there with an idle mind is really taxing.

You strike me as a really smart, mentally active person who is looking for something wothwhile to do. Money is great but as they say "money can't buy happiness".

Wish you the best in your search for whatever it is you decide you want to do :O)

Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

I don't think this is stupid at all. Sometime you come to a point in your life where you need a change, take a complete different path. And no money can't get this out of your mind. It's ok to look for something else, just take your time.

Take good care!
forgoten

Yes, I would like to retire then double dip another job. I would have to as my retirement pay is low. Nurse's aide jobs for those who don't know are among the hardest physical work a person can do. I would like to see some burly macho man keep up with an 18 year old woman doing all the care needed for a 300 pound comatose patient. I can't work that hard, my back can't handle it.

Computer work is not as easy to get as it once was. There are a lot of very highly trained and experienced IT people that are unemployed. I have job experience, but no credentials. Besides, I would like to get out of the cube farm and interact with humans more. I may have to do some kind of computer work, but would rather it be a tool, not the focus of the job.

I have thought of becoming a union steward. It would be interesting and fun to lean on management. It would not really be fair to the union to spend the time and money to train me while I am looking for other employment, too. I also don't know how seriously I could take other's problems when I am looking to leave entirely. That would not be fair.

I feel trapped. Writing my thoughts down and reading your reactions was so helpful before. Maybe it will work again.

Wherever you go, there you are

Let's keep exploring ideas then.

I actually have worked as a nurse's aide, and I hated it, but I wouldn't like being a nurse either. Both are often treated pretty badly, and also I need a job where I can see something getting done, progress being made, not just having to do the same things over again the next day. But that's me.

Hang in there. The answers will come to you. Would being a union steward be a job, or just an additional aspect of the job you already have?

<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>

Please cross your fingers, pray, hope, wish, WHATEVER for me!!!!

I just sent in a job application and resume for a dream job that I am very qualified for and would love beyond belief!!!

Wherever you go, there you are

:::::::::crossing fingers AND toes:::::::::::::::::::

good luck!

Everthing is crossed!!! Good Luck :O)
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

Good luck kv!!!!!!

~Fuzzy

{{{{{{{{{Kvinn}}}}}}}}}

I am sorry for missing your post earlier.....I am sending lots of luck and best wishes. Let us know how you make out.


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

I know this is like having a lottery ticket in your pocket. The chances of winning are so small, but it is a small price for so many great dreams.

I dreamed all night last night about getting this job! It is so perfect. It is part time, uses my skills, and is in the folk music realm, which I love.

LMo, if I get it, I owe it to you.

Yes, too cool. Things like this just don't work out somehow. I am going to enjoy the few days of anticipation anyway.

Wherever you go, there you are

Agh! The time torture begins! I just got this reply....

Thank you for applying for the new position. I have printed your letter and put it in our file. The company is currently on tour in Georgia and Florida. We will review applications after October 27.

Wherever you go, there you are

Oh good grief!! Poor thing :O/
Well at least you don't have to really stress about it until after 10/27. And yes, I realize that doesn't help :O)
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

you're still in the game!!! Hang in there.

Hey kv,

If this doesn't pan out for you, and I pray that it does, I have an absolutely, sure-fire, can't-miss, money in the bank small business idea. We could retire in 5 to 10 years.

But getting back to the point, I'll be sending all the Irish good luck wishes and prayers I can muster! One of us has to break this vicious cycle, right?

bp

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to work."

I admire that you are pursuing your dream and 'going for it', no matter what may be the outcome, although, of course, I have everything that can be crossed, crossed, for you to get the job! Most fondly, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

Aw, man KV! Want me to talk to them??? Tell me who they are -- they can't brush ole LMo off that easily...

Lemme at 'em! Lemme at 'em!

We are ALL going to be a-ok!