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Old Sep 08, 2005, 06:59 AM
Lexicon78 Lexicon78 is offline
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Location: Pennsylvania
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Ya know I get up early, go to bed late, and through all that my bf sleeps most of the time. I've lost my mom, aunt, grandfather, and pretty much my dad in the past year. Talk about grief. And then I wonder why I get so freakin depressed! If you've scanned my posts lately, you'll see that I'm having a lot of problems with my dad.

My bf tries to be there for me, but he doesn't help much. He tries to say everything's gonna be alright...he tries not to get into detail about what's going on with me...he's very vague. Anyways, he sleeps almost all day and lately he does sleep all day...that's what he does when he's out of cigarettes.

I feel so alone and just lost without having someone to be there for me. I can't depend on my sis for support because she thinks I'm all upset about the little things in life...when they are actually pretty big things to me. I feel like I'm not important to people anymore.

Last night was a doozy. I can't say why...just didn't want to be here anymore. I feel so much grief right now that it's enveloping me completely.
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  #2  
Old Sep 08, 2005, 07:04 AM
Hope4me2 Hope4me2 is offline
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{lexicon}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]

your not alone.... I am listening....so very sorry about all your losts....wish I could reach through this screen and give you a BIG hug....but sending you a cyber one instead....
No Wonder I'm Depressed
.....rest you need it and there is nothing wrong with it..and let yourself grieve and take care of yourself....
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  #3  
Old Sep 08, 2005, 08:05 AM
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dottie dottie is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,526
Hi!

I have suffered from terrible loss too. Many deaths, including my brother's suicide in January.

I've lost 2 homes...and I'm now estranged from one of my daughters. (She believes that it is a moral failure to have mental & emotional issues.) Hate to say it, but she is very pinheaded when it comes to many things which can happen to oneself.

Affectionate...she is not. Glad my other 3 kids understand my suffering.

Yeah it's tuff to handle life alone.

Try to have hope, because without it...the human spirit just withers away like a dry leaf in Fall.

Hang in there!

~Dottie No Wonder I'm Depressed No Wonder I'm Depressed
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  #4  
Old Sep 08, 2005, 09:51 AM
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lexicon, i'm sorry that you're hurting so much right now. have you talked to your BF and explained that he is not there for you? do you see a T? it is very, very difficult to feel so alone and i hope that things look up......xoxo pat
  #5  
Old Sep 08, 2005, 10:54 AM
Lexicon78 Lexicon78 is offline
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My mind is so enveloped in my situation with my father. I didn't feel like starting a new thread about my dad. He's all I think about. I guess I'm obsessing...as usual. Why doesn't he want anything to do with me anymore? I just don't understand it!
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  #6  
Old Sep 08, 2005, 11:30 AM
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Lex, it sounds like your boyfriend is going through some things too. Sleeping all day is not a good sign. Perhaps he's feeling your grief in his own way. Maybe he needs you to hug him?
I'm sorry you've been through so much. Losing so many people must be extremely painful. I don't know the situation between you and your Dad but I hope you both find the stregnth to work through it.
This may sound mean but remember your boyfriend probably needs you as much as you need him. Maybe he's feeling a little left out? I don't know. I can't speak for him but maybe he cannot voice his needs and ask anything from you in your time of so much pain and turbulence. Maybe just for an hour you can focus on whatever he's dealing with? Him sleeping all day is definetly not good.
I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings. I'm trying to see things from a different perspective. Your not feeling like he's there for you the way you need him to but he is there for you in his own way. You have to see he could be afraid of saying something wrong or hurting you which is why he stays vague?
I don't think you're as alone as you may think you are. Forgive him for not being what you need him to be. He's a vulnerable human being too. No Wonder I'm Depressed
(((((((((((Lex+her boyfriend)))))))))))))))
  #7  
Old Sep 09, 2005, 01:17 AM
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(JD) (JD) is offline
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((((hugs))))) Please try and stop your thoughts when they focus on your dad... or set a certain amount of time that that is ALL you will think about, but then when the time is up... move on to something that is really GOOD for you??!! Try not to reach desperation... things aren't usually as bad as depression tells us...
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  #8  
Old Sep 09, 2005, 07:14 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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(((((((((((((((Lex)))))))))))))))
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  #9  
Old Sep 09, 2005, 09:40 AM
Lexicon78 Lexicon78 is offline
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Everytime I talk to my sis she either is attacking me or my dad. I'm sick of it! I feel like crap because I'm always being attacked. I took her off my YIM and MSN messenger. She still knows my email addresses though...and got me there, too.
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey
  #10  
Old Sep 10, 2005, 04:40 PM
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Babieca Babieca is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2005
Location: California
Posts: 25
Just an observation- Maybe your sister is in denial; she recognizes symptomatic things about herself in you and it terrifies her and she has no resources to get help.

No suggestion about interacting with BF, having never had one. Perhaps sleeping is a way to escape the reality of what is happening to you and his feelings of inadequacy in helping you? It sucks to feel powerless to help someone.

I am the last surviving member of my entire family, I know what the mounting loss feels like when there isn't time to recover from the previous one.

At one time my elderly father was pressuring me to move him in with me, truly a cosmic joke since we had barely tolerated each other since I was a teen. Suddenly he found he had nobody who could stand to be around him. He was cranky, in failing health and strength, smelled terrible, and was violently shorted tempered. I refused to take him in. When he died, I was the last. I hope your situation isn't as bitter as mine was, I wouldn't wish it anybody.

To be honest, relationship things are my weak point since I had such poor familial examples as I grew up. I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart but feel useless in suggesting working solutions. No Wonder I'm Depressed
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