Is it really tabu to care???

sorry i hit a nerve sky, what is unsupportive in my post? i was, am, in the spirit of posting, giving an objective point of view, take it or leave it. just because it might not be what you want to hear, does not mean it is wrong, or a personal attack on you.

))))) Sky (((((


Bear

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I hate to be the voice of dissent hear but here is my two cents worth:
I disagree, if somebody receives unwanted feedback from a member after being asked to back off, call it clash of personalities if you may, then that person should just back off and leave well alone, not continue to enflame the issue, or issues.
to continue to do so after being asked to stop is not caring, because in no way can it be construed in any other way than harassment, how is that caring? when it causes more anguish than relief?.

it will only lead to less people posting, and ultimately leaving the site as they feel they cant share what is going on with them without the perceived fear of attack by that person. Be it in the forums or on PM, I know you can put the person on ignore on PM maybe the same system should be in place in the forums as well.


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That's what I responded to.

You choose to judge, simulating a situation that doesn't exist, and called it dissention.. thereby designating your own post as being unsupportive. You are entitled to your personal views, but don't use my thread to espout them, please... posting something that has nothing to do with my situation just doesn't help me right now. TC

“Am I really incorrect for asking for clarification of a problem?”
“A big issue and I can't work through it here... because it involves "here"“

your own words from your first post, if you did not want advise about these questions why ask them?
or are you only willing to take advise that you agree with and not consider any other options?,
As for me hearing only one half of the story and judging you, you are wrong, you are the one guilty of that. You have judged ME because I offered a piece of advise to questions YOU posed.
YOU are the one who has mentioned the second question, twice,
YOU are the one who keeps bringing it up, not me.
I have not mentioned anything in any of my posts in here or anywhere else regarding any perceived bias that you imply I hold against you.
I was providing you with options, if you are taking it as criticism then obviously you have chosen to ignore the advice posted, it is simple, to avoid any more anguish and pain with the person/persons you are having problems with in the forums stop talking to them,
in how much plainer English do you want me to state that?

And as for:
“You choose to judge, simulating a situation that doesn't exist,”
I refer back to question two, it was not a simulation it is in fact very real by your own words you admit that. Or have you changed your mind?
And
“posting something that has nothing to do with my situation just doesn't help me right now“. TC
it has everything to do with your situation, it is a simple answer to a simple question if this person is causing you pain, walk away. How is that not unsupportive?

What is unsupportive is to accuse me of having a bias opinion, and attacking me in your reply to a perfectly solid piece of advise. You copy pasted my first response in your last post, did you by any chance bother to look at my second post because if you did you would see:
“i was, am, in the spirit of posting, giving an objective point of view, take it or leave it. just because it might not be what you want to hear, does not mean it is wrong, or a personal attack on you.” or did you just scan read that and choose to ignore it? If you choose to attack everyone who disagrees with you, soon there will be noone left to answer your posts.

mellors,

I think that since she was posting in the depression forums she just wanted support. I know you feel that it is necessary to provide both sides, but maybe it would be best to only be supportive in the disorder sections and save the debate for the sections. I'm not trying to lecture you and I support both you and Sky and hope that you two can resolve your differences.

(((((mellors))))), ((((((Sky)))))

Because mine are rhetorical .. and yours are theoretical in defining someone elses' problem? You're stating that you disagree </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
disagree, if somebody receives unwanted feedback from a member after being asked to back off, call it clash of personalities if you may, then that person should just back off and leave well alone, not continue to enflame the issue, or issues.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Where did you read this in my post? It has nothing to do with my hurt.

I'm asking if it's taboo to care to which you said in addition to the above quote: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
to continue to do so after being asked to stop is not caring, because in no way can it be construed in any other way than harassment, how is that caring? when it causes more anguish than relief?.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Which, to me is non supportive and denying my right to care.

I won't continue. I shouldn't have bothered with this response, but I did so in case you really didn't realize how much more hurt your posts gave me.

Nope, I don't see an objective point of view that has anything to do with this.. perhaps you have me confused with someone else?

This is exactly what I meant by not being able to share here... even when couching my hurt as best I could... I still get slammed. And now I am on the defensive when all I was trying to do is post about being hurt... and finding it hard to trust members here. go figure

Am I really incorrect for asking for clarification of a problem?

Is what you asked, you obviously did not get the response you wanted to hear which caused you more pain, answer, back off and walk away no more pain,

The second quote can be read both ways, you can be, and were hurt, so why persist when it is hurting you? What have you to gain? Nothing. Answer back off and walk away no more pain.

The objective point of view is, if you back off the pain will diminish it is a simple answer why can you not see that?

To imply I am the one confused is beyond reprehensible. And a feeble attempt to turn this all into my fault when you are the one trying to manipulate a perfectly simple piece of advise by twisting it into something it is not.

What are you on the defensive about? You have done nothing but attack and try to label me since I posted.

could it be that the truth hurts and you dont want to hear the truth?

No mellors, in my asking for clarification I was NOT given ANY answer... not rebel at an answer I didn't agree with! Please quite assuming.

In backing off do you mean flip some magical switch and quit caring?

Your adding more hurt to me does not take away the hurt I was already feeling. I don't understand your "support" of non truth/

If this is the only kind of support I continue to receive here... please lock the thread. I knew I wasn't allowed to hurt. And just plain assinine to try and let anyone know I was hurting. Yeah, kick em while they're down.. that'll help! I thought DocJohn was clear about SUPPORTIVE POSTS only.

Thanks again Fuzzybear, Kimmydawn, Jax, BD, Rapunzel, Fighter, curley, wisewoman, time0, nothemama, l&d I used up everyone of your hugs and good wishes!

support works both ways sky, i know now NEVER to offer it to you again in fear of a repeat of this post, you think i am not hurt with your comments and generalisations about me? when all i was doing was offering advise.
you think i am just going to sit here and take it? others might, i wont. End of conversation.