[hannie2223]

sometimes I just lie in bed at night and feel so frustrated that life hasn't turned out anyway I thought it would. I'm sure every person in the world feels this way. I just feel like it's this culmination of bad choice or dumb choices or not making a choice that has landed me here. I feel this sense of I've made my bed now I should lie in it. I want things I can't have.

So much of my life is so repetitive. I feel like shampoo...lather rinse repeat.

I should be sleeping...but I just have to get this off my chest. I feel like this a lot. A lot of it's stress and I really need a vacation which I have in a few weeks. So much of what I feel I don't even want to talk about. It just is... just an ugly soup.

Didn't know if this is the right place to post this there is no my life feels wrong section.

[madisgram]

hannie have you contacted your pdoc? i'm thinking you need his/her help. i'm so sorry you feel helpless and hopeless. i've been there. sometimes the depression overrides my meds. it makes everything seem doom and gloom. but by getting help or using the professional help i have has made the difference in my fairly balanced life now re moods.
hope this helps. you are reaching out to us. i know our support is only part of the equation so please get the help you need.

[pegasus]

Hugs (((((((( hannie ))))))))))

I'm sorry you are having a tough time right now, it is good to share those feelings though with others here. We do understand. Try not to be too hard on yourself. We are here listening when ever you need to vent.

[hannie2223]

Thanks. I just never know what to do sometimes. Do i follow my heart or do I stay logical... My feelings just aren't reliable and can I be happy if I do what my brain wants

[OneRiffTooMany]

Its awfull to hear this. You really shouldnt feel shackled to decisions in your past, I can't imagine the opposite to every decision you feel you made incorrectly could garauntee happiness.
When I was weeding a flower bed as a young boy I couldnt reach a section with my right hand (natural hand) and didnt see it necessary to reposition myself so I stretched across with my left hand and lifted the weed matt and the tail of a death adder snake, Um I hope this makes sense , I mean if I repostioned myself and used my right hand I almost certainly would have been fatally bitten.
I dont understand your pain, I just want to help.
Be happy

[madisgram]

hannie what are the feelings you have when you follow your heart?
what are things/feelings when you follow logic?
do you feel comfortable telling us? it might aid us in defining suggestions for u.
i can understand your feeling frustrated about this. my T one time suggested i follow my first thought/feeling re something/event. he said it would be the better decision. like intuitiveness. when i started over analyzing about what to do, i always wasn't sure what to feel or how to react to something. it only caused confusion in my mind.
does what i am saying help you?

[hannie2223]

I more feel like no matter what I choose I won't be satisfied. I'll always feel as though I've missed out. I spent 2 and half year picking a major in college. There was so much I wanted to do and no matter what I picked I just wonder if the other way would be better. I settled on history btw. And hindsight always being 20/20....i just wonder what if I had gone left and not right...etc. And then wonder what was the best possible way I could have gone. I know it's pointless to even think about this stuff. It's all in the past, but it really effects my decision making some times. Making me incredibly indecisive. I try to figure out all the effects of my decisions. Again I know it's futile but it doesn't stop me from doing it.