[ltlredvett]

Thank you all for understanding that I needed to take a step back from the forum for a lot of reasons.

I am admittedly still struggling very much. Even though the relationship I am in is over, I just want some how to make peace. But, my ex girl friend ignores me, I passed her and she didn't even acknowledge my existence. If she only knew how I felt inside. I am in sheer agony. Today I am sick to my stomache about the whole ordeal. I am so stressed out and physically ill... feeling my stomache churning away as I type this.

I sent her flowers for her birthday and not even an acknowledgement. Actually, I think she threw them out.

This was a realtionship of over two years. I am devastated by this. If she only knew how much pain I was in at least she would talk to me. I don't see why two adults can not at least be civil to one another. I know I caused her pain and I am dreadfully sorry. But, how can it help her to inflict so much pain on me in return?

At any rate, I am sorry for whining and sorrier yet for not being a full participant on this forum as of late. But, I am in a very bad place and it is really a turning point for me.

[heatherm]

{{{{{{{{{vett}}}}}}}}}}

Let that turning point direct you the right way ok hun? I know you can do it.
"You cannot direct the wind but you can direct the sails" ~~ author unknown



Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

[Fuzzybear]

I can't understand why some people who were once "friends" or lovers can't be civil to each other either

Take care vett,
**Hugs**
Fuzzy

[Peanut61]

Anniversary dates like birthdays, etc., are very hard to handle after you've suffered a loss like this.

You're in our thoughts, (((Vett)))... Warmly, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[LMo]

Vett....
First of all, I'm sorry you are hurting so bad.
My ex-husband treated me the same way, and I never really gave him any reason to. He's the one that met someone else and wanted to be with them. It killed me to be rejected like that -- especially since I hadn't given him any concrete reason that he was willing to share with me. But I think the cruelty of ignoring me was because of the guilt that he felt about hurting me so badly. Every reminder of me meant that he remembered how guilty he was feeling. It was easier for him to ignore me than it was to say he was sorry. That may be what your ex is doing to you. It felt awful for me and took me a really long time to get over it. But it DOES get better, I promise. Do yourself a favor, and stop hoping for closure. It doesn't sound like you're going to get it. Even sending her flowers, as nice of a thing that normally is to do... just means that you're expecting something in return, and probably feels invasive to her. She wanted out, and you're clinging. I imagine that she resents it, because it seems like you're not respectful of what she wants.

I'm sure she knows how much pain you're in. But she's taking care of herself right now, and talking to you would feel like she's giving you hope. She's probably not going to talk to you until you have recovered from your pain. She doesn't want to feel the guilt.

I'm speaking from my experience from being in the same boat you're in. It took me a long time to understand why my ex-husband turned so cold on me, but I do understand it now and I don't take it as personally. There was a time I thought I would never be able to NOT take it personally, but I have arrived at that point. I hope you do, too.

Thinking of you,
LMo

We are ALL going to be a-ok!

[LadyDragus]

sweetie take your time
We will all be here for you when you get back.

take what ever time you need.

She is most likley not in a good place eihter.
She may be hurting still, and may not want to make eye contact for it may make her break, down or she may actually see the pain in your eyes.

It could be a number of reasons..
Space and Time is all you can give yourslef, and her.
I know you want her to know how you feel, but like I think I have told others.

Write her a letter. Explain it, send it, and see what happens..

that is what I normally do, then i give them a few days, then I ask did you get my letter??

for all it is worth.. i wouold have huged you for the flowers..
Cause I never get any

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
<font color=purple>

[heidu]

Vett,
It's a good step that you see that you need a break and that you see that your life will change one way or another. You hold the keys, just need to find the right door. I believe you will. Don't give up.

As for your girlfriend. I realize it is hard on you because you have lost your connection and right now it is causing you much guilt, sadness and stress. I noticed in your post you kept referencing how you feel and why would she want to hurt you more by ignoring you? Vett you gotta know that she is hurting too. Maybe she is afraid to respond to you because part of her is torn up too and she'll fall apart. She needs to be strong now. Maybe part of her cares very much for you and she can't have you, for her that wouldn't be good for her right now so she needs to remove herself from the situation. There could be alot of reasons but I just want to make the point that she may not be intentionally hurting you but she is hurting and dealing with all this the best she can. I have no doubt this is hard for her too.

The first emotional reaction is often times anger. When someone hurts you, you feel anger but under that lies, hurt, dissapointment, fear, etc. Sometimes it takes time to get thru the anger and deal with the real emotions and sometimes peopel never do. It's hard to say what she is like so I can't say give her a month or something. I just think she needs time because you aren't the only one who lost here and like you she has to deal with things her own way.

I know it hurt you not to get an acknowledgement for the flowers but I believe the best gift is given with no want of a return and like I believe Heather said, it may have made her feel ackward and she didn't know what to do maybe she felt you expected something in return that she couldn't give you right now.

I hope this doesn't sound like a lecture because that isn't my intent. I care about you and I know you are having such a hard time putting things in perspective and finding a new path for your life. You will Vett!!! Take it easy on yourself and hang in there.
Hugs,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell