It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Nothing at all.

time0

[__zh]

life matters. depression and other illnesses can skew our thinking about such things.

sorry things are the way they are right now

please keep taking care. please know you are worth love and respect. please know you can get through this. folks believe in you and are behind you in your healing.

with kindness and hope,
__zh

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((time0))))))))))))))))))))

you matter.

kd

Life matters? It did once in my life but now, I'm not sure.

I live in automatic. If I'm alive in the morning well ok, if I am not well ok too. Whatever.

I am sorry that I am so negative. I know one thing dear zh, YOU are worth it. YOU matter, a lot!

I know I will get through this, one more time, for whatever reason. Probably because I have too. Probably because people around me wants me too so they can have someone to trash.



I will make it
time0

Thank you! ((((((((((((zh))))))))))))))

Thank you! (((((((((((Kimmy))))))))))))))))

You are always a dear caring person! A very important person!

Love you!
time0

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
time0 said:
Life matters? It did once in my life but now, I'm not sure.

<font color="#000088">it would be understandable for you to feel that way given what you endure and have endured for years on end.</font>

I live in automatic. If I'm alive in the morning well ok, if I am not well ok too. Whatever.

<font color="#000088">having been so depressed in previous episodes throughout life your above comments resonate so deeply. it is a very hard place to be in.....ambivalence about one's life is indicative of depressive thoughts creeping in or even totally pervading one's head.</font>

I am sorry that I am so negative.

<font color="#000088">you have nothing to apologize about. that you are posting is healthy.....it is hard to share one's pain and you are to be admired for doing so after you've previously expressed how difficult it is for you. ((time0)))</font>

I know I will get through this, one more time, for whatever reason. Probably because I have too. Probably because people around me wants me too so they can have someone to trash.

<font color="#000088">NO! you are not surviving through this just to be trashed by someone......you are learning heathier ways of coping each time....you've taken many steps over past year that show your ability to try different ways of getting help.....each time you learn more.</font>

I will make it

<font color="#000088">absolutely!!......sorry it isn't easier though.</font>

Thank you!

<font color="#000088">you are most welcome. thank you for continuing to keep in touch and keep expressing what's going on in your life. be gentle with yourself sweetie.</font>

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[dexter]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
intr.v. mat·tered, mat·ter·ing, mat·ters

To be of importance

--dictionary.com

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

time0... what does it mean to "matter"?

You are important to us... we recognize your presence, we appriectiate your support and empathize with your pain... we love you you and have altered the threads of our lives by your being here. We would miss you if you weren't a member of this community. I am sure the same is true with others within your influence.

"Importance" is a subjective things, and like all subjective things, depression makes us subjectively choose the most negative of connotations for anything that is to be judged or evaluated. You subjectively deem yourself "unimportant" but that is the qualification that depression is deciding for you. Push that aside and instead listen to the more objective opinions of those here around you.

You matter to us.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((Time0)))))))))))))

[Overcastbutclearing]

Time0
It sometimes is difficult to see past the hurt and anger and realize that our lives do matter. You think to yourself.."if I wasn't here would anyone really miss me?"
I understand those thoughts more then I wish I did.
Please know you do matter. And I know it is hard to believe that coming from someone who you have never met face to face...but you do matter.
There is a reason we are going through what we are going through. And there will be healing beyond our wildest dreams.
Believe you matter...even if you have to fake it for a while.
You have to have faith, even if it is the size of a mustard seed!

[NICO]

(((((((time0)))))))

time you matter to me because you have given me your time in the past which i see as a precious gift, you have aknowledged me, youve replyed to me. doesnt matter what you said what matters is you cared. i know that void your in its so hard to be positive, but you have too. you have too believe there will be better days. you have to believe you have a future. come on man i know you can do it. i'm not sayin its gonna be easy, but boy is it worth it.

[(JD)]

[b]<font color="pink"> YOU matter time0... sure you do.. to US here! Nope, life doesn't matter, not mine to me, nor yours to you.. that's obvious or we probably wouldn't be posting in depression forums! depression tells us that.. .makes us believe it is true (and I know ... what does the truth matter if we don't FEEL it???) GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR <font color="darkblue"> one foot in front of the other... write down things that you think might be important even though you don't feel it... like... well, you know.. things ppl say here... sigh. heavy sigh. (((hugs0)))

Thank you! You matter to me

(((((((((((((((Dave)))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((zh))))))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((Kimmy))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((sj))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((Nico)))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))))))))))


What does “matter” means to me? It means I care enough for you to listen to you, to hear what you have to say, to put myself in your shoes, to try to understand, to respect you, to give you my help and my support, that what you have to say “is important”.

But this is what “matter” means to “me” because I know what hurt and pain means. I know what it means to be silent when inside you are torn apart. I know what it means to not be heard and not respected.

In my world, in 3D, I don’t matter to people. They don’t care. I am worth nothing. It doesn’t matter what I say, doesn’t matter if I am so tired I don’t know if I’m coming or going. It doesn’t matter if I work 10 hours a day and my job is physically demanding, that I have cuts all over my hands because I work with wires and cutters. It doesn’t matter at all. They just need me and they need me right now. I could drop right in front of them they wouldn’t care less. They would probably ask me to get up and drive them to the store.

They simply don’t care.

I am sorry I am tired and I’m crying and I’m so discourage.

I will get back to you.
I thank you all!
Time0

[(JD)]

((((time0)))) <font color="purple"> I KNOW where you are I SEE YOU!!! yeah... "matter" is that JUST BECAUSE we are ... ARE... is ENOUGH !!! I keep trying to... keep trying... and realize this is true... We don't have to have any one else decide if we are important, we just ARE important because we are someone... anyone... don't ask me who. Aw gee time... I'm so depressed myself maybe I'm not the best one to try and tell you what I keep hearing... it's kept me around far longer than I really think I want to be...

it's their loss if they don't know how to care about others ((((you))))) (((((me)))) we have to learn to take care of ourselves just BECAUSE... we have to do what we know is best for ourselves... no one else will (except maybe my T!) whether we feel like it or not.. we just have to... maybe sometime in the future it will matter more than it does today... heavy sigh.

[Fuzzybear]

I relate to your post more than you know. GRRRRR

((((((((((((Time0))))))))))

( too "useless\" to give advice)

Thank you (((((((((((((((zh)))))))))))))

You are very kind and thoughtful to have reply to me like you did. It shows me how much you are a caring person.

Yes sweetie, I am always trying to find ways to deal with depression and my situation and also I try very hard to cope with the people that surround me but it is sometime so very hard.

I am never gentle with myself. I am very demanding of myself because I hate myself.

You every word is very much appreciated.

time0

Thank you (((((((((((((((Dave)))))))))))))))

I know that depression is not helping me, that’s for sure and neither does my APD. I try very hard to listen to what people are telling me in here and I try so hard to believe your words. It is also very hard for me to see any positive things in me or any value. To tell you the truth if I would listen to what the voice of depression is saying to me all the time I would be living in a garbage bag. But you and the people in here are helping me to shut down that voice sometime so I can keep on going and I’m very grateful to all of you.

Take good care!
time0

Thank you (((((((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))))

My dear sweetie, it saddens me to see that you can relate to my post. It surely is not a good place to be and I wish you were in a better place.

You are surely not useless. You help me so much, more then you know!

time0

Thank you (((((((((((((((sj)))))))))))))))))

Even if I have not met you face to face I can feel you care for me. You are a very caring person you know and you are trying very hard.

I will try to find hope.

time0

Thank you (((((((((((((Nico))))))))))))))))

No it is not easy but it doesn’t mean I will not give you my time again because I will. I do care for you. All the people in here are precious to me including you, that’s for sure. I am trying.

Take good care of yourself!
time0

Thank you (((((((((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))))))))

You know Sky I can’t write down what people tells me in here because I have this voice in my mind that keeps telling me I don’t deserve it. This voice comes from very far in my pass but still it is as if it’s right in the present time. But what I do though is I go back to posts where people told me nice things about me and I read it over and over again to try to put positive in this stupid head of mine.

It is nice to see you here!

time0

(((((((((((((((kimmy)))))))))))))

((((((((((((((Kimmy))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((Kimmy))))))))))))))

time0

Right now, I know I matter to all of you because you have taking the time to reply to me and to even chose your words carefully. That is very very kind. You have all taking the time to listen to me and to hear me. You are great people!

There is something going on in my life that I have a lot of problems with and it has been going on for a while now. People are very mean to me and it hurts me so much. They don’t even give me a tiny chance. These people they know me to well. They know I will rather shut up then to see “someone else” hurting. So the blame is all on me and they sure are making me feel it.

There is too much going on.

Again thank you!
Sending love to all of you!

time0

[(JD)]

(((hugs))) let's see.. that would be... family, work ppl, organizational ppl, or strangers, right??? sounds like "life" to me

My familly, mother and sibblings, my husband's familly, work people on my husband's side, people that my husband calls "friends" and my husband.

As you can see the word "Husband " comes a lot.

Life

time0

[(JD)]

I hear ya!