nothing, nothing

nothing to say, but im hurting, sad, worthless, hated, tortured, disliked, a loser, meaning, too negitive, a failure, cant succeed, cause problems, cant win, am a nobody, will never amount to anything, will never get a real job, will not get rid of facial hair, lose weight, have energy, eat healthy, see the dark sky, never see light pollution end, survive sounds, live how i used to, no live friends, get a female to kiss/marry/sex with...just nothing.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I wish I could say something to make everything better but just know that you are not alone, you are not worthless an there are lots of people here on this site to support you.

So sorry you feel like this! You are not worthless...I see value in every supportive post you write. That shows a good heart and a caring soul! You are in my thoughts!

Sorry you are down on yourself today, ariesmars. Know we care and don't see you as hopeless as you may perceive you are. You are in a black hole of depression and not thinking clearly right now. Hope tomorrow is better for you. Sending you a hug!

wimpering...and freaking out, panicing, missing, hating, disliking, angry, upset, troubled, scared, worried, upset with self, being needy, unsupportive with my therapist only wanting to see me every other week, it should be a good thing, but i just having setback. unknown reasons....AHHH....AAAHHHHH....AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

((((((( Ariesmars! )))))))

You are in great turmoil. You know your own feelings; call for the help you need.

A truly dark sky. Yes, that is worth seeing.

I could have said it any better thats exactly how I feel I hate it soooooo much I just want to feeel normal

my T...why bother going anymore, she dont want me. nobody likes me..

I've been whimpering a lot lately, too. I hope that you are safe today. I will be thinking about you.

Thinking of you, ariesmars. I hope today is a better day for you.

Not a good day...

Sorry your day isn't better. Have you tried meditation or minfulness? Might help. Also working with cognitive distortions and illogical thinking? You can think yourself worse if you are using bad logical arguments, which all of us do at times, especially when depressed. You CAN take charge of some of your thoughts and improve them. Won't make a bad situation good, but will help you see it as it really is, not as you are distorting it to be. A good tool for cognitive distortions is Burns, Feeling Good Handbook. Sending you some more hugs, to get you through this bad day.

Any day we see an Ariesmars post can't be totally bad.

put a grin on my unmoving face for 2 seconds.

well its over. again. im just the loser i was told i was, i aint nobody, im worthless, meaningless,girlless, friendless, hopless. i just wanna run away and cry.

((((((( Ariesmars! )))))))

Did something happen like an accident or something that changed how you are able to live now?

When I first moved to my farm here 4 years ago, there was an auto accident in front of my house. I was the first person at the accident & had to call for the paramedics & try to care for the kids until they got there. The boy that was driving was lucky to end up living after they were finally able to cut him out of the car.....but they didn't know about the Traumatic Brain Injury until after he was later transported to the university hospital in the city.....couldn't air lift him at the time because of the weather. The thing was that with the Brain Injury, he had to learn how to do everything over again from the point of being a child & will never be able to function past about a 3rd grade level.

Sometimes we just have to accept what happens in our life & live the best life we possibly can given the situation we are in. Know it's not easy when our life changes & we aren't able to live the way we were able to live before.....but we can still have a wonderful life & learn to be happy with who we are in the NOW.

Hope your therapy can help you work through some of these difficult things that you are trying to deal with in life......your T should be working with you on coping skills to help you when you are struggling with the issues you seem to constantly be struggling with now.....along with the concept of accepting the things that aren't possible to change & focus working on those things that can be changed.

..........so depressed

Ariesmars, does your current depression have a particular focus?

I miss my T. "dont leave me..T's name" She dont like me, nobody does in real life.

Ariesmars, I look at your friends list here at PC, I look at all your friends and subscribers (!) on YouTube, (I don't know about Facebook because I don't have an account there) and I have to conclude you certainly have the potential for being liked in real life. Goodness! You are into some fantastic things; I think you're someone worth knowing and I'm positive there are others around who do or would feel the same.

Here's hoping you can meet some of those people soon!

i wish i was never born

i called my therapist a few times and in my mind im thinking i may push her away and she dont want to deal with me anymore because im always calling her, would you say that when i want to talk and i call her just to chat/say im struggling on her message that she would not like that and that is causing her to not like and want to support me anymore. or would this be made up in my head that she feels that way. i have an issue that i make up alot of untrue ideas so i am confused very much about what i think is true or madeup, my mind is so convinceing and it just has to be true.

Same here man. Same here... It definitely sucks. Really the only thing keeping me going is this forum and listening to music. I have tried tons of sh#t to get better over the course of years and I know how tough it is to feel good for some people.

I can definitely empathize with what you're going through. Have you tried anything to get better besides therapy? Do you have anyone that you can talk to about what you're going through (i.e. some family)?

I would make some recommendations for you to try, but it sounds like you have a lot of stress built up and just want to vent at this point. That's where we differ. I force myself to workout hard at least once a week and my stress level is pretty low even though I'm totally depressed and feel like ending my life. I can think clear, write clear, and can focus if I need to, but just really don't want to be here. I have anxiety in social situations, but am not keyed up all the time with insomnia and rapid-uncontrolled thinking.

My thoughts on your situation:

Right now it seems like you are focusing on things you don't want like: never getting a job, won't get rid of facial hair, lose weight, have energy, eat healthy, get a female, live how you used to, have light pollution, etc. Instead of focusing on what you don't want, why not shift that focus to something that you do want?

It sounds to me like if you: had a job, set a goal of losing a few pounds (and continuing to work towards losing weight), started eating healthy, moved to a place without light pollution, made a few new friends, and got with a girl you would be happy... which would maybe lead to more energy. I know it's not easy, but if you have the energy in you to get upset, you can maybe try re-channeling that energy slowly towards one or two things you actually do want. Simply setting one goal for improving your situation to get what you want may make you feel better and get you some momentum in the right direction.

Since I don't fully know your situation, it's tough for me to know what may be contributing to your depression. With that said, you always do have the power to make a conscious choice to move in the direction that you want.

I wish you nothing but the best and even if you found my advice completely worthless, I hope that something eventually helps you out of the rut that you're in.

Feel free to keep venting in this thread man, I know it's a tough time for you.

It's what I call "depression think". When I sink into depression my mind tells me all the things you mentioned. Thing is, it will pass as you improve. Please call someone, go take a walk. Do something! Getting active affects mental health in very positive ways. Your head can be completely in another place after activity. Can you take a long walk? Call someone?