[Screenager]

I just feel so empty and alone right now... I don't think I'll ever be really happy. I'm so lonely. I wish I had a girlfriend, but I'm so awkward and uncomfortable around people I don't know well and I don't think anyone really understands me. I don't think I'll ever find love and someone who truly "gets" me.

It often makes me angry to see happy people or couples. They make me jealous. But right now I just feel numb.
I'm too empty to live, but not desperate enough to die... Stuck in this lonely, boring, aimless, lifeless existence forever.

[thedayturnedaround]

Screenager, I can relate to the loneliness you feel. Have you ever tried online personal ads? I'm having a little success with it, I've made an acquaintance who wants to meet up with me for a date. It may not work for everyone, but as many times as I get depressed, there is still someone out there interested in talking to me. All I had to do was be myself even admitting upfront that I'm a grown adult who lives with his dad. But alas, I feel awkward too, like I'll be too quiet and not have enough to talk about. I relate to you.

[CgRgSm]

Screenager, thank you for posting. I feel exactly, and I mean exactly, the way you do right now. If you ever want to talk about stuff, you can message me. Words cannot describe how lonely and empty my life is...I understand how you feel that no one can really "get you". It makes me sad, and I think about these things every day, just to think no one is really going to ever understand who I am, makes me wish there was a God. I don't know what happiness is, don't know that love exists, this life is pure torment. Sorry I can't bring you relief.

[Screenager]

Thank you for your reply.

There used to be someone I thought could have been right for me. We went to the same high school, she was beautiful, intelligent and we shared many interests that I couldn't talk about with anyone else...certainly no one from school. But she was straight (I'm a lesbian) and of course she had a boyfriend, so there was never a chance for me.

Sorry for this random post. I just became a bit nostalgic...

Other people seem to find love so easily, but for me it's a path full of huge obstacles. I wish it was easier...

[numb61]

I am so sorry that you are in the deep dark hole. I hate that part of my bipolar. Life seems so difficult when there is no one who "gets you".

Are there any support groups that you can go to?

I have found that when I am in the serverly depressed state, that trying to find a romantic relationship is not a healthy thing.

Keep hanging in there and if you have no one to talk to, at least post!!!

[Screenager]

The whole "wanting to find love" thing is part of what causes my depression. I've never been in a relationship and this eats away at my self-confidence and satisfaction in ways I can't even describe.

I'm going to look into support groups, thanks for the suggestion. But I'm not sure if that would really help. I'm seeing a therapist and not even that seems to help much.

[skyscraper]

Hi Screenager. I know exactly what you mean. I sometimes feel empty and always feel alone. I feel like I'm stuck being like this (depressed, anxious, ect.). I want a boyfriend one day, but I feel like I'll never be able to keep up with the relationship. I always feel awkward and uncomfortable around people too (it's because of my social phobia). No one understands me either, not even my family. They think I'm just weird and dramatic. I get jealous when I see happy couples or people too.

I'm sorry your feeling so numb and empty.