My Shadow are Back

My depression kicking back again ...lack of sleep and completely lose appetite and i make my self busy like hell and i keep smiling pretending like iam okay to everyone but the things is iam not okay ..i hate my bed coz in my room thats the time when i am completely alone and i cry alot and i hate that i dont want to cry ...i just dont want to feel anything ..i think by repressing my emotion finally i will became numb , right?

i hate time like this ......i hate the fact that depression has following me all my life and now it has became my shadow

Like waves in a big ocean, it comes...but then it leaves again - thinking of you.

oh hi prueso good to see you again. i've missed you. i'm sorry about the depression tho. prue, when we repress those emotions it only makes us more depressed. it won't make you numb. i know how debilitating depression is. if it overrides my meds i ask my pdoc if we can tweak my meds temporarily. it sometimes works. when it doesn't sometimes i have to let it run it's course knowing it won't be forever.
crying may help cause it's getting out the sadness. try not to beat yourself up about the crying. for me depression consumes my outlook on life. it distorts everything. i hate the truck on my chest. like my heart aches and i get really anxious. it may help to see if something triggered the depression. try to resolve it if that is the key.
i keep a journal when i'm depressed. i write about how i feel. what saddens me. how hopeless i feel. it seems to help cause i'm getting it out and on paper.
i don't try to do too much or make a lot of decisions when depressed. it is too much stress so i go into simplify mode.
meanwhile we are here for you always. talking about it here may help. we can't fix it of course but we can be supportive. hugs, prue.

((((((( Puffyprue! )))))))

Yes, yes, yes!

thanks for all the support its really means a lot
i wish i could find my passionfor life back but its seems gone for good

((((((((((((((( puffyprue )))))))))))))))

Hi PuffyPrue...

I'm so sorry that you are suffering...it seems that there are a lot of people hurting an awful lot this week. I don't know what it is...

I noticed that you mentioned that your sleep is off again. I know that when I have multiple nights of not sleeping or only sleeping a little or just off and on...my depression worsens and then it becomes a vicisious cycle in and of itself. Perhaps, if you could concentrate on just one thing..it would be to try really hard to put yourself on a sleep cycle again and make yourself stay up and if need be ask for a short rx of meds to help you get some well-deserved rest and let subconscious do its thing. It will really do you so much good to get even a few good night's sleep. Make sure and turn off everything in the room and get it just right and make yourself go to bed at a reasonable hour and get up again for just a few days in a row and see if that doesn't help a bit..

Another thing that might help a little bit, that helps me a lot, is a really good emotion list. I've got one that's like 2pp long that really makes me pinpoint the emotions when I'm journaling to get real specific and make me dig a little deeper for answers as to the most basic fears or sources of anger that are holding me back. If you'd like a copy of mine, feel free to pm me. I really like journaling on the computer where I can paste and cut the ideas together after I have kind of free-handed my thoughts so I can then look for patterns in the swirls of thought and begin to see where my anxiety or fear or anger is really coming from and perhaps take it to the mat, or my T as the case may be.

Don't know if either of these ideas appeal at all with you..but they might be worth a little try. I know it is so very hard to get into anything anyone suggests when you are this low. Just know that they only come from my hope for some relief and healing and a little hope for you...hang in there little one...


wysteria Blue

(((((((((((((((((Puffy)))))))))))))))))))

I know what it feels like...there will be better things for you. You will see!

((((puffy))))

It is nice to see you again! I've missed you. I'm sorry that you're feeling so blue.

I remind myself (every day) of the little things that have brought smiles to my face before. They may not bring on smiles now, but it does remind me that I was up a little before falling down again. Which means that I will get back up again. Hopefully soon!

Just keep on going through the motions ~ maybe see the T more often, to help you see the light again at the end of the tunnel. And, don't try to repress those emotions. I know from my personal history of repression, that only makes the emotions worse. Because they need to be let out. Hopefully, letting the emotions out will lead you to understanding what caused them to bother you again.

Very gentle hugs to you, puffy. Hope that you gain a better hold over your depression soon.

I have been very ill because my depression but now iam getting better still not eat much and dont sleep much but i do sleep the thing is i try to forget everything i just want to leave everythingh behind and never look back ..i know someday i could

thanks dfor all support that i got here
i can thank you enough ..