[Yack]

I have always had minor health issues, mostly mild exhaustion...and migraines

...three years ago I had a parasite that knocked me out for 9 months until it was diagnosed. Then I was fine.

I feel sick most of the time now and it is scaring me...before the stuff that caused the PTSD I was healthy though...

I am falling asleep and it is 3:47 pm...I am like this most days...

Can't keep weight on...had every blood test in the world and nothing is wrong...

I feel totally overwhelmed....I want to move out but I am afraid I am not healthy enough...but I hate where I am...vicious cycle....

Mentally I am feeling better...I am just very confused as to which direction to go in...I probably should give it time...because I am improving....significantly...I have no patience though :~

Sometimes I feel like I am going to collapse when I am standing up, my appetite is gone...

I had an EKG in August, checked for an ulcer....ended up in the ER 2 weeks ago bec. I had weird pain and thought I was having a heart attack (I wasn't)....

My weight is normal, was checked for vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and I am fine....

I don't know what to do.

I am really bored and sick of lying around but I can't seem to handle too much else....

Going out to lunch the other day made me so tired I wanted to go home and go to bed.

However, whatever weight I was carrying from the trauma stuff seems to be lifting...It is just hard. It's probably all psychological.

[Yack]

I just realized I posted similar stuff to this not too long ago...

Sorry

Same stuff keeps going on...

[LMo]

[samsara]

Welcome to the wonderful world of severe depression. (I suspect). If you are not seeing a psychiatrist (and you may not be in light of your avocation) please do so before you sink further. Also a therapist - don't try to be your own.

Good luck with it all. I can relate to much of what you have written.

If you are on meds, some of what you describe could potentially be a med side effect or a drug-drug interaction. You may be overmedicated. But those are doctor things.

[Yack]

Yeah, the doc is reducing the medication...just Klonopin....sometimes I feel like I can't breathe, sometimes I feel like I am going to faint, it is absolutely ridiculous. It's always something. My legs are killing me right now.

And yes, everyone, I am only 25. All (serious) situational stuff, all totally beyond my control. Kind of like being hit by a steam roller. Sometimes I want to throw my nice college diploma and all of my freaking psych papers that were leading to a PhD out the window.

I have been to hell and back...I am very frustrated...due to situations in my life...It doesn't help when the doctor says "Given all you have been through I am not surprised"...Gee, thanks...

One year ago I was a totally normal person. I hate it.

[samsara]

1. The good news is that it is situational.

2. You might consider accupuncture or accupressure.

3. Reread or just skim a book on CBT. You have some negative self talk going on there.

4. You will be a better counselor having spent some time in the trenches. Long ago I was a psych nurse and spent a lot of time helping depressed people. When I had my first severe depressive episode I realized that I had known nothing about depression. If you haven't been there, you don't know and you are likely to frustrate your patients/clients with your lack of genuine understanding. Because you are suffering, you will better understand the suffering of others - across situations and diagnoses.

[Lexicon78]

Yes, this all does sound psychological. And it sounds pretty normal considering all that you've been through. I don't just mean with the ex, either. I think the thing with the ex just really put a big topping on the cake, but there has been other abuse in your life, hasn't there? Granted, not nearly as severe as the ex, but it's there. I think all of this together makes for a severe episode, which is lingering everywhere in your life right now.

Hang in there. We're all here for you.

[Yack]

I know...the thing is, when I came out of the illness (medical) I had, my empathic regard for people with chronic illness was huge...so I get what you are saying...but this is insane...

I do not want to be able to relate to this...PTSD...and you are right, I too knew all about PTSD, depression, etc., but did not "get it"...It is pure he**. I am not surprised I ended up this way bec. what I went through was horrific. But in 3.5 years, I have had 9 months that were normal - and those 9 mo were spent recovering from illness..

Just wondering when I get a break.

[EJ711]

Yack,

I am presenting you with this ribbon for all the patience you have exhibited to date. You are an achiever by nature. It is really hard to be patient, when it is not your nature.

I've been where you are. It is puzzling. Patience is probably the key, but for high achievers, it is really hard to wait.

Glad all the physical tests have panned out so well. Weight loss and despression go together.

Wishing you all the best,

Jane

[EJ711]

Yack,

Don't be sorry about any overlap in posting. Personally I didn't see any. Just try being kinder and more patient with YOU!

Just had a thought. Maybe you have some residual trauma which is making you feel anxious about still feeling depressed. Does that make any sense?

You're a very intelligent lady, which can make it harder sometimes, instead of easier.

Jane

[EJ711]

Yack,

It's going on four years for me that my life has been topsy turvy. It's just starting to look up for me a little. Try not to look back, and compare so much. Easier said than done.

I think Klonodin (spelling ?) is pretty heavy duty stuff, but I could be wrong. Have you read the contraindications?

Jane