Crushed. Dunno if I can make it.

OK... here is another one -

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

Lawyers get frequent flyer miles...

Heh. Thanks.

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it. "The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.

The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What the world is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label it says:

(Are you ready for this?)

(Are you sure?)

(This is bad!)

(You know you could just click off and not read the punch line)

(You know you're gonna be sorry)

(Last chance)

(OK, here it is)

It says, "HAIR SPRAY - RESTORES LIFE TO DEAD HAIR, ADDS PERMANENT WAVE."

"...get rid of Mr. Bear."

WAIT! I didn't get to give the punch line of my 2nd joke!!!!!

ok - no...

... Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said,

“I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could.

This is an old one, but maybe you haven't heard it:

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune...

No problem.... it was my pleasure - I just wanted to help another laugh tonight as LMo did for me last night when I was feeling down and like life was not worth it.

HANG IN THERE

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Oh

...but to her great fortune...

...Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

(how am I doing, by the way?)

They're not that bad.

yoga might have been a better option... ;p

*shrugs*

Hay Tao ..... What is the matter? Why are you feeling so down right now? Maybe there is one little step that everyone could think of to help you feel better.......If you want to talk on the phone maybe one of us could do that with you? What is just one little small thing that maybe one of us could do to help you feel just a tiny bit better...............

Nothing is helping anymore... I've tried it all... years of counselling, meds, hospital stays, ECT, DBT... nothing's working. I'm too young for this... no one understands why I feel this way. My college won't let me return this semester, so I'm stuck in my parent's house, which is an unhealthy environment for me. I have no friends, no transportation, no job. I'm worn-out from fighting this depression over half my life. I'm in way over my head, and have no where to go.

there is point to keep trying. Do u have a T? someone to talk to? Like all things this bad time will pass. If u need to talk u can PM me.

I have a case manager, but not someone I can talk to. I don't know what more to talk about.

Tao...hi...just read your post. How are you doing? PM me if you wanna talk.
I care.
Take care...

Hey... still doing really bad. Think I'll call a helpline...

((((((( HUGS )))))))

Sorry for the pain you are going through right now and I totally understand the feeling of WHY bother for you have already tried it all and nothing is working, well at least not long enough to make any big difference.

I guess I keep on hanging on and fighting, for my two sons (21 & 16) and for the love I still hold with my heart - for while the love that lies there may hide at times I am still able to catch a glimpse of it from time to time and on a really good day I am blessed and can FEEL IT.

I hang on for the HOPE of tomorrow....... I am not crazy I am just a little unwell (and) Father Time can HEAL, he makes less the pain.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

P.S.
Make that CALL........................ plz.

Tao ... YOu'e in a really tough situation........ Can you attend a junior college or some other kind of educational program and why wont your college let you come back? Do you enjoy school? Would you rather get a part time job somewhere for a minute just to make some extra money? How old R U ? Do call the helpline.......... If you want to talk on the phone we could do that too. I dont know what I could do to help excpet commiserate with you as I have a depression that is seemingly untreatable.......I dont know how to send a PM yet but send me one......... I'll figure it out...... I feel for you and I know what you're feeling too........I've been there, am there, and have been free from that place too..........Sitting around in your parents house is not a good idea... Go for a walk. go to the park....... go out to a coffee house and have a sweet hot drink with whipped cream all over it...... Where do you live?

Tao: How are you doing today? Please keep posting, we care.

(((Tao))) depression tells us lies. Yours is telling you the lies you are believing... "you're too young for this... there's no hope... you've tried everything... no friends...."

I do know you have no hope of your own. You can live on the hope others here have for you. (I know this personally...and from my T's hope for my life...)

When you say your T is no help, what does that mean?

You haven't tried everything, though you feel that way. And even if you had tried "everything" you haven't tried it long enough? "half your life" is not very long... in the span of things... the journey IS this... noone has an easy life.. .it's all about learning and trying and struggling...

You are up to it, look at that "half your life" as your strength. No, your life hasn't been easy... but it's not "you" it's your disease of depression.

Try and think that... you feel this way because it's the depression... it isn't a problem with YOU personally, but the depression...

I know you're tired of it all ((((tao)))) I know. Me too... but we can get through this, ok?

Use all the help you need to... try not to say triggering words or phrases to even the people on the hotline... you know what they are... let people help you... don't push them away...

ask for more help.. from your case worker etc. If you overwhelm your caseworker (show them they aren't qualified to give you ongoing therapy) then maybe they will call in professional help for you... keep after them...

You're worth it!