I received an email today and I applied to work at MacDonald's but I wasn't successful. I have applied to many jobs but I still haven't been called or anything. Alright.... This time I will just stop searching for a job. I should just study and wait until I am a little older. Fk this, I will just stop looking for a job now. I won't ever get a job. On the positive, I have been sent an email to be a expert English reviewer. I sent them an email and I hope I am successful. I like teaching and helping people with English. Maybe I should become a English teacher. But I guess I fail at life and I am a failer therefore I must do what is right and..... Everyone has a right and everyone else has a job but me..... I don't. I lose, I fail. Everyone hates me. I don't deserve to be on this earth. No one appreciates. No one wants me. I feel like I should do something stupid but I can't.. Something inside of me stops me. If I did it, I would fear I might go to he**. I would cause my family, friends and my boyfriend a lot of pain. I should just talk to a manager and get on my knees and beg them for a job. I'm fed up of feeling like this. I cry over a stupid job. I wasn't meant to have a job. Maybe I should have s** for money. I am a piece of meat anyway. I'm sorry Heavenly Father for being a bad person and letting you down. I am a disgrace. I am a failer. I never succeed. I hate this life! Thanks a lot, managers. You make me feel like this. I hope you're happy. I hope everyone is happy when I am sad. I am FED UP with this job search!!! FINE, I understand, I will never get a job. End of. My life is a mistake. I wasn't meant to be here. I want to just drink and drink until I feel numb.

[alwaysrejoice]

Please don't get on your knees and beg for a job. I'm a manager and I don't know how I would handle that. You should go after that English reviewer thing. I hope you feel better.

Originally Posted by alwaysrejoice

Please don't get on your knees and beg for a job. I'm a manager and I don't know how I would handle that. You should go after that English reviewer thing. I hope you feel better.

Lucky you. you are successful and I'm not.

I might as well cut myself or strangle myself. I deserve it. It's my punishment.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I received an email today and I applied to work at MacDonald's but I wasn't successful. I have applied to many jobs but I still haven't been called or anything. Alright.... This time I will just stop searching for a job. I should just study and wait until I am a little older. Fk this, I will just stop looking for a job now. I won't ever get a job. On the positive, I have been sent an email to be a expert English reviewer. I sent them an email and I hope I am successful. I like teaching and helping people with English. Maybe I should become a English teacher. But I guess I fail at life and I am a failer therefore I must do what is right and..... Everyone has a right and everyone else has a job but me..... I don't. I lose, I fail. Everyone hates me. I don't deserve to be on this earth. No one appreciates. No one wants me. I feel like I should do something stupid but I can't.. Something inside of me stops me. If I did it, I would fear I might go to he**. I would cause my family, friends and my boyfriend a lot of pain. I should just talk to a manager and get on my knees and beg them for a job. I'm fed up of feeling like this. I cry over a stupid job. I wasn't meant to have a job. Maybe I should have s** for money. I am a piece of meat anyway. I'm sorry Heavenly Father for being a bad person and letting you down. I am a disgrace. I am a failer. I never succeed. I hate this life! Thanks a lot, managers. You make me feel like this. I hope you're happy. I hope everyone is happy when I am sad. I am FED UP with this job search!!! FINE, I understand, I will never get a job. End of. My life is a mistake. I wasn't meant to be here. I want to just drink and drink until I feel numb.

Hi Happy. I've been a failure. More than once and inside I still often feel a failure. I didn't have a supportive family and life has been hard. It took me a long time to get enough tools together to help myself. It didn't have to take that long; I could have progressed faster if I had asked for and received the help I needed. But I didn't think I deserved help. If I were starting out now (or if I had to start again now) I would take some time to look around at all the help that is available: any help offered through the government, from local schools, colleges, universities and houses of worship, from social service agencies, from the Salvation Army and local community centers: help with getting a job and help with dealing with my emotions and self-esteem. Then I would ask for help everywhere I could. I didn't know I could do this when I was young. Many people took one look at me and rejected me, and I would hide and cry and feel even worse about myself. I have a better understanding now why some of this happened. And what I have learned is to keep trying. You are wonderfully expressive and when I read your sad posts I always hope that some of what you are expressing is just momentary sadness that will go away because you've gotten it out by posting it here. Courage, Happy. Courage!

Thanks for your post. I want this job misery to end.

[turquoisesea]

you don't fail just because you're not getting a job. I've noticed this a lot lately, with irl people too. Jobs are hard to find nowadays, even the ones that don't pay as much like MacDonalds. I have a friend who's an assistant manager now at a Dunkin... he says his manager tries not to accept applications for an interview unles they have specifically DUNKIN experience and most of the time they don't look beyond that *angry face*

So it comes down to luck and you constantly trying so that you can win that one interview.... I know that's hard but it's not a comment on you being a good or bad person. It's just what is.

You don't deserve negative punishment for this.

If you're feeling really suicidal please do call a hotline or something =(
http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm <---- some resources

hang in there

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

you don't fail just because you're not getting a job. I've noticed this a lot lately, with irl people too. Jobs are hard to find nowadays, even the ones that don't pay as much like MacDonalds. I have a friend who's an assistant manager now at a Dunkin... he says his manager tries not to accept applications for an interview unles they have specifically DUNKIN experience and most of the time they don't look beyond that *angry face*

So it comes down to luck and you constantly trying so that you can win that one interview.... I know that's hard but it's not a comment on you being a good or bad person. It's just what is.

You don't deserve negative punishment for this.

If you're feeling really suicidal please do call a hotline or something =(
http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm <---- some resources

hang in there

Yes it's sad. I can't believe rejections can hurt. I can't get help if I feel suicidal. people think I'm fine...

I better become a prostitute if that's only easy way of getting money.

[alwaysrejoice]

I used to say that too out of frustration. It would make my mom so mad. I would say "im going to sell my *****." You ARE important. I know you don't believe that right now...... Please call someone to help you.

Originally Posted by alwaysrejoice

I used to say that too out of frustration. It would make my mom so mad. I would say "im going to sell my *****." You ARE important. I know you don't believe that right now...... Please call someone to help you.

I don't need to call someone. I'm alright.

[venusss]

You know happy, I told you this before. This is not about you. The world is a mess, there is a crisis... what you can do is work on your education and rack up some experience through volunteering and so on. And keep sending the resumes.

Look, many of us been there. I sat on tall walls and window panes before, for the same exact reasons, being another chick with education but no experience. The department of employment was not helpful either (and they were probably afraid I am after their job). But it is not solution.

and happy, you are not "fine". If you were fine you would not be posting thread after thread about how you don't value yourself or your life. I am not the person to encourage people to run for help when in mild distress, but you seem to be going through a real rough patch. Get a therapist and deal with the issues you have. They may also help you to make better impression in job seeking.

you have a choice.

Thanks everyone for replying. okay... So I'm going to continue volunteering and I study a course in either retail or business admin. I'll give myself a break. I've done enough crying for a day. I need to rest.

[Open Eyes]

(((((happycheeks)))))),
What your experiencing is low self esteem. And you were also picked on in high school and that still bothers you.

You have to learn more about Social Phobia, because your outlook and feelings are expressing that disorder. Venus is right and she has struggled too, and she has good advice because someone who has Social Phobia does better if they have something that they are knowledgeable about where they can manage others or even teach others, it is their comfort zone. It is common for them to hold in much doubt in themselves and even struggle with just regular socializing. I have a sister and father with this disorder and they both did well in life, however they really struggled with a regular social situation, it caused them a lot of stress, and my dad ended up doing his own business, was great guiding customers but struggled with joining social groups and clubs. My sister is also very good at doing a job where she is a guide and has the knowledge and structure where she is directing others, but struggles in social situations, where she steps out of her comfort zone of being the teacher, organizer, or guide of somekind.

Teaching would be a good area for you, as you talked about teaching English, because you could find comfort in organizing a class or group. It doesn't mean your a failure or a bad person or you cannot function. Some very successful leaders had this disorder, and people who have it are often very intelligent. And they do really well if they take courses on building self esteem and learning more about controling to social issues that are faced with being in a social situation. My sister was a girl scout leader for years, she was a really good leader, and the one thing that really helped her were the different lectures she attended on building self esteem and developing various skills. It really helped her alot and she didn't realize how much it did help her or that she has Social Phobia. It can be overcome, people with it can learn skills to overcome it and do well.

So please consider what you would be good at doing and would be more comfortable with, and stop picking on yourself with negetive self talk. It is very common for people with this disorder to feel low after a social situation and not really understand, but it is an anxiety disorder. But there are many different anxiety disorders, if you really looked into the different disorders, you would see that common issue with anxiety, only it presents itself differently. So you have to learn how to not only recognize that what your really addressing is anxiety from social situations, but that you can learn ways to overcome that. And you also should know that IRL many people do have different issues with anxiety, your truely not alone. Even the people who bullied you in high school? Well, I am sure they were grouping together addressing a different anxiety disorder where they felt control by picking on others.

You truely have to look at yourself differently and realize that all people have issues, but they don't have an about me where you can actually see their issues. However, your time here at PC can be more beneficial to you, because you can actually look around and see that your not really alone, most people struggle.

From now on, you have to begin to see what you need to work on and takes steps to do so, your not a bad person, your not ugly, your not dumb. You just struggle with self esteem, so learn where your weak and find your strengths. You can be a productive person and successful too. But you have to stop bullying yourself and find ways to get along with yourself and learn how to overcome your disorder.

Remember, many successful people have had social phobia, and they didn't even know what it was. At least you have that in your favor and you can learn your way around it.

Open Eyes

[psychslove]

Ohmyyy. Please don't feel the way you're feeling right now. D: please don't
I understand that getting a job must be really something important for you but heeyy, you have to ask yourself if it's really 'that important' .. like you'd do crazy things to earn?
Also, it's not because you're not good enough that you don't get the opportunity..
I have a friend in Canada, she too had been applying for lots of job and I can say that she is really great.. she's smart (not because she is a friend of mine. it's a fact) but until now, still jobless. I just think that there are TOO MANY PEOPLE applying for jobs. TOO MANY COMPETITION. so there, my friend goes to school and thinks that maybe she could just focus with her studies at the moment. but hey, she said she would apply again for whatever job there is when she has the time to.
Never give up! I do believe .. it's a matter of luck sometimes! if you give up, one thing's for sure.. FAILURE.

[turquoisesea]

((((happycheeks))))))

happycheeks I know the frustration that you must be feeling, My daughter is having the same problem atm, She has applied for so many jobs that she has lost coount (she is 19) She is fed up of getting knocked back, Are you in college? My daughter is in college until something does come up and hopefully it will.

I hope that you will be ok.xxxx

Originally Posted by Buttercup.

happycheeks I know the frustration that you must be feeling, My daughter is having the same problem atm, She has applied for so many jobs that she has lost coount (she is 19) She is fed up of getting knocked back, Are you in college? My daughter is in college until something does come up and hopefully it will.

I hope that you will be ok.xxxx

No I'm not in college.

There's about 2 million people unemployed in the UK.... That's a lot! I'm not on my own.

[turquoisesea]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

There's about 2 million people unemployed in the UK.... That's a lot! I'm not on my own.

sounds about right =/

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

sounds about right =/

I hope this employment situation gets better. I'm feeling better now.