[Yady Smith]

I’ve been on this site quite a lot since I joined a yesterday and I have mixed emotions about it. On one hand it is great to be in a place where people can accept you for who you are, and have some clue of just what you might be going through. But on the other, I find that it makes me think about my condition and the many things that are really wrong with me, thus making me feel worse, and more depressed. If any ‘sane’ person gave as much thought to their shortcomings I believe they would probably be in here with you and me.

I passed by the calendar today and did a bit of a double take. From now until the new year I have two appointments, both are to see psychiatrists in the clinic that I attend. So really I could sit here for the rest of the year and let the world go round, and no one would even miss me. Granted, my family would call from time to time and we’d go through the motions, but it’s only superficial really. I firmly believe that if I didn’t wake tomorrow morning no one would miss me, not really.

**** that’s some thought, after 48 years on this planet there is hardly a person that I could call ‘friend’, or even ‘acquaintance’. For those of you younger people who are reading this (I'm not that ancient really) ‘get up off your ***, turn off your computer and go out and talk to someone’, anyone! Even if it’s just to say hello.
Hell I don’t even know if I would do that if I had to live my life all over again, but it’s still good advice. I have tried, but it just didn’t feel right. I've always been more at home living within myself, listening to my tinnitus (at least for the last few years) and having one-sided conversations. But this is how it ends up when you go down that road!

Ah it’s just the way I’m feeling at the moment. Hope I haven’t brought anyone down. ****...

This stupid ****ing username is starting to really grate also!!!

[missbelle]

Well, I am glad you found us....and you make 48 sound like its near death.....you have got years more of life out there and more miracles to happen!!!I can say that as I am 67..yep, there are a few of us here that are old enough for social security..LOL

I think to move on in life we do have to come to terms with things....like our dx, our problems......its about the journey........anyway, glad you are here with us. Keep reading the posts and posting!!! I read a lot of posts and also post, and you will also find this ole lady in games with a bunch of others from 14 to 70 in years!!

[Yady Smith]

Thanks for those kind words. But I think the truth is that the majority of those reading this would put you and me in the same age bracket (near death – lol. Would you believe I've never written those three letters before!)

[noneedtoknow]

Um, I'm 48-so,maybe this site is really just abunch of us "old geezers" we just don't know it yet. I hear what you were saying in your post though.And yes, I definetly have struggled with being self-centered in regard to how much time I am fixated on myself, my issues, my feelings, my, my my.........cripes, no wonder why I feel bad....but just for today I am gonna try to stay out of my head just alittle bit less and into life/others a little bit more-or at least try. Have a good day everyone!

Hello, thank you for posting this. I am 19 years old, and I can truthfully say that I don't consider you "old" or "ancient" by any means! Age is simply a number, we are as old as we feel.

I do agree that focusing too much on our issues can just make it feel worse. In the past I would think about all the negatives, and of course it just made me feel even more depressed. I use this site mainly to support others going through a rough time, as opposed to the past, where I used to use this site to post mainly about what was wrong with me. Since I made that switch, Psych Central has become a positive atmosphere for me. I love reading people's posts about making progress!

I also agree that it's important for people to have a support system. Even as a self-proclaimed schizoid, I have 3 family members that I am close to and can talk to about anything. Communication with others is important, because isolation can just create more negativity.

Thank you for your honest post, and I do hope that you won't fixate so much on your age. You have plenty of life to live!

Damned good advice, which might fall under half a dozen categories...I would wholeheartedly agree...people need to spend less time here online and more time outside getting fresh air.

If you want to survive in the world "out there" you need to spend some time there.

Get off your butt and walk somewhere. That will help with your weight loss.

Talk to someone live...that will help with your depression as talking through a problem always works.

Call a friend. If you don't have one, make one; they don't have to be Mahatma Freaking Gandhi. As my grandpa once said, "Close one eye, make a friend. Close two eyes, keep a friend." There's no one out there that's going to stroke you 24/7; that's not a friend anyway, that's an enabler.

This is not the "real world" folks. Let's all of us go out there and interact like proper human beings.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by gulas

Damned good advice, which might fall under half a dozen categories...I would wholeheartedly agree...people need to spend less time here online and more time outside getting fresh air.

If you want to survive in the world "out there" you need to spend some time there.

Get off your butt and walk somewhere. That will help with your weight loss.

Talk to someone live...that will help with your depression as talking through a problem always works.

Call a friend. If you don't have one, make one; they don't have to be Mahatma Freaking Gandhi. As my grandpa once said, "Close one eye, make a friend. Close two eyes, keep a friend." There's no one out there that's going to stroke you 24/7; that's not a friend anyway, that's an enabler.

This is not the "real world" folks. Let's all of us go out there and interact like proper human beings.

Wow wouldn't that be something if that is all we needed to do - however in reality I think it is a little more complicated that just putting one foot in front of the other and opening ones mouth for some interesting words to come out that may engage someone else.

I agree whole heartedly that it is really important to get out, to exercise and not to isolate oneself - however for me instead of being an obstacle to that, this site has actually helped me in real life beyond the www.

And welcome HC, remember depression can really cloud our thinking and so it is important to distinguish the symptoms of depression from more objective thoughts. I have found this site so useful in terms of reading others experiences and getting support for myself - yes it may be self indulgent, but actually can the same be argued of someone who busts their leg and goes to hospital to get it sorted and then shares with others how much it damn well hurts.

There are some great people on here, hope you decide to give it a longer trial - good luck
Soup

[Sanguinaire]

Originally Posted by Happy Chappy

I’ve been on this site quite a lot since I joined a yesterday and I have mixed emotions about it. On one hand it is great to be in a place where people can accept you for who you are, and have some clue of just what you might be going through. But on the other, I find that it makes me think about my condition and the many things that are really wrong with me, thus making me feel worse, and more depressed. If any ‘sane’ person gave as much thought to their shortcomings I believe they would probably be in here with you and me.

I passed by the calendar today and did a bit of a double take. From now until the new year I have two appointments, both are to see psychiatrists in the clinic that I attend. So really I could sit here for the rest of the year and let the world go round, and no one would even miss me. Granted, my family would call from time to time and we’d go through the motions, but it’s only superficial really. I firmly believe that if I didn’t wake tomorrow morning no one would miss me, not really.

**** that’s some thought, after 48 years on this planet there is hardly a person that I could call ‘friend’, or even ‘acquaintance’. For those of you younger people who are reading this (I'm not that ancient really) ‘get up off your ***, turn off your computer and go out and talk to someone’, anyone! Even if it’s just to say hello.
Hell I don’t even know if I would do that if I had to live my life all over again, but it’s still good advice. I have tried, but it just didn’t feel right. I've always been more at home living within myself, listening to my tinnitus (at least for the last few years) and having one-sided conversations. But this is how it ends up when you go down that road!

Ah it’s just the way I’m feeling at the moment. Hope I haven’t brought anyone down. ****...

This stupid ****ing username is starting to really grate also!!!

no such things as time so technically ur calander doesnt work

"Wow wouldn't that be something if that is all we needed to do - however in reality I think it is a little more complicated that just putting one foot in front of the other and opening ones mouth for some interesting words to come out that may engage someone else."

Soupdragon, forgive me for not prefacing with "among other things...it might be useful if we also exercised and found someone live to talk to." I assumed wrongly that this inference would be made automatically. Obviously, people need much much more. Happy for you that you find that "more" here.

[kj44]

Originally Posted by melissa.recovering

Hello, thank you for posting this. I am 19 years old, and I can truthfully say that I don't consider you "old" or "ancient" by any means! Age is simply a number, we are as old as we feel.

I do agree that focusing too much on our issues can just make it feel worse. In the past I would think about all the negatives, and of course it just made me feel even more depressed. I use this site mainly to support others going through a rough time, as opposed to the past, where I used to use this site to post mainly about what was wrong with me. Since I made that switch, Psych Central has become a positive atmosphere for me. I love reading people's posts about making progress!

I also agree that it's important for people to have a support system. Even as a self-proclaimed schizoid, I have 3 family members that I am close to and can talk to about anything. Communication with others is important, because isolation can just create more negativity.

Thank you for your honest post, and I do hope that you won't fixate so much on your age. You have plenty of life to live!

Thank-you! Well said. I'm 45, I am on this site when I need to be. It is important to have an outside world, I have acquired a part time job, where, I have co-workers, one of them I call a friend. As far as she knows, I take nerve pills, that's good enough for me. What was the point I was trying to make? LOL, It's very hard to have a circle of people, my husband and my mom know, but, they do not understand.

[Yady Smith]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Wow wouldn't that be something if that is all we needed to do - however in reality I think it is a little more complicated that just putting one foot in front of the other and opening ones mouth for some interesting words to come out that may engage someone else.

I agree whole heartedly that it is really important to get out, to exercise and not to isolate oneself - however for me instead of being an obstacle to that, this site has actually helped me in real life beyond the www.

And welcome HC, remember depression can really cloud our thinking and so it is important to distinguish the symptoms of depression from more objective thoughts. I have found this site so useful in terms of reading others experiences and getting support for myself - yes it may be self indulgent, but actually can the same be argued of someone who busts their leg and goes to hospital to get it sorted and then shares with others how much it damn well hurts.

There are some great people on here, hope you decide to give it a longer trial - good luck
Soup

Hello Soup, point well made and taken. I totally agree that it’s not as simple as just opening one’s mouth, and that people who are ill need to take time to heal themselves.
In my case unfortunately, I’ve pretty much given up trying to do either as I find both to be futile.

However, I believe that a person’s goal should be to get better, and to try to get their old lives back. If this isn’t possible or indeed wanted, then to start building a new life for themselves.

I know a lot of people can’t and won’t recover, but the people who can, should. And it is vital that they be encouraged to do so.

I hope that everyone who reads this might be inspired enough to jump off their seats and have a eureka moment, but I’m realistic enough to know that this just ‘aint gonna happen’. If my being on this site will convince one person to try, then I’ll ‘go to bed happy’!

[turquoisesea]

For those of you younger people who are reading this (I'm not that ancient really) ‘get up off your ***, turn off your computer and go out and talk to someone’, anyone! Even if it’s just to say hello.

I hope that everyone who reads this might be inspired enough to jump off their seats and have a eureka moment, but I’m realistic enough to know that this just ‘aint gonna happen’. If my being on this site will convince one person to try, then I’ll ‘go to bed happy’!

You might hate me for this. But why is this not true for yourself? Must you be young to recover? I'm 23 myself, and I can tell you that if I could have gotten off my bum years ago and figured things out on my own I wouldn't have come here in the first place. Now I can, and I do. But it's a gradual process. Last night, I am proud to say I went out with a friend, this whole week has been very successful socially. So I am making great strides, years after coming to PC and starting to work on "getting better"

What I'm suggesting is that you can do this too. You might not be to get up RIGHT THIS MINUTE and be better. Often with depression, the reason for depression was a long time in coming. Sometimes we need time to heal.

So I urge you - take your own advice. what's stopping YOU! And if you really can't, learn from people here at PC, learn from reading articles on the internet or wherever about depression and how to improve your mood. Reach out in those appointments. Don't give up on yourself, and keep trying

nice to meet you, and I hope you can gain something from PC - I definitely have in my time here


ps if you want a name change, PM an administrator =)

[Caretaker Leo]

But on the other, I find that it makes me think about my condition and the many things that are really wrong with me, thus making me feel worse, and more depressed.

I have felt similar feelings. I have been here since March. During that time I decided that it was healthier for my mental health to post in threads other than those in Depression.

Months later - I have read and posted elsewhere (and hope I have provided support to others). Now, I feel stronger and am coming back here because I think I might possibly offer thoughts and advice to others who suffer from depression.

I know that I have benefited from trying to help others and now feel that my life has purpose. I didn't think that when I first joined PC.

We will all have our ups and downs, but many members have found that there are so many people here who listen, offer support and encouragement.

I hope you will stay at PC and give it time. You might consider saying hello and welcoming newcomers as a good first step.

[Yady Smith]

Originally Posted by turquoisesea

You might hate me for this. But why is this not true for yourself? Must you be young to recover? I'm 23 myself, and I can tell you that if I could have gotten off my bum years ago and figured things out on my own I wouldn't have come here in the first place. Now I can, and I do. But it's a gradual process. Last night, I am proud to say I went out with a friend, this whole week has been very successful socially. So I am making great strides, years after coming to PC and starting to work on "getting better"

What I'm suggesting is that you can do this too. You might not be to get up RIGHT THIS MINUTE and be better. Often with depression, the reason for depression was a long time in coming. Sometimes we need time to heal.

So I urge you - take your own advice. what's stopping YOU! And if you really can't, learn from people here at PC, learn from reading articles on the internet or wherever about depression and how to improve your mood. Reach out in those appointments. Don't give up on yourself, and keep trying

nice to meet you, and I hope you can gain something from PC - I definitely have in my time here


ps if you want a name change, PM an administrator =)

I couldn’t hate someone for trying to help me! Thank you for your kind and most thoughtful words, I think they have come from a mature mind.
The point I was trying to make about getting up off asses, was simply that one could. This is not the end of the road where depressed/sick people come to stroke each others pain. As you rightly said it is a place to learn.

I’m really happy that things are getting better for you. Baby steps! And you’ll make a life worth living for yourself. If no one succeeded then all of this therapy, drugs, PC would be pretty pointless. I know, many people climb out of this hole to lead relatively happy and productive lives, and perhaps they are even better people because of it, in fact I believe this is the case. Perhaps Winston Churchill would agree!!!

As to my particular situation, well to tell you the truth whenever I even start thinking about everything a gripping darkness fills my soul. It’s like jumping into a pool of quicksand. Here I go again!!! For now anyway, I'm a bit stuck.

Thank you also for that info about a name change. I’ll put my thinking cap on and then make a request. Keep up that positive attitude.

John.

[Yady Smith]

Caretaker Leo said: "I know that I have benefited from trying to help others and now feel that my life has purpose. I didn't think that when I first joined PC.

We will all have our ups and downs, but many members have found that there are so many people here who listen, offer support and encouragement.

I hope you will stay at PC and give it time. You might consider saying hello and welcoming newcomers as a good first step."

No promises, but it's food for thought. Thank you.

[unaluna]

Actually I thought about you the other day as I was walking downtown. Not sure why, but your name came into my mind, "Chappy" is the name of my rocking horse. I never had one, of course, they were "for American kids" and I was "too big" to play on my cousin's, but when I saw some on display in a store window a couple of years ago, and a sign that said they we for sale, I finally got mine. I named him Chappy, because you have to wear chaps to ride a real horse, right, and because that is such a nice friendly British-ish name! CHAP. CHAPPY. I went a little nuts when I got him. ANYWAY - I don't think PC is a place to mope and feel BAD about yourself - I find I feel a lot better about myself since I joined in June. I feel like part of this community, like I really belong SOMEWHERE for once, and that has made me more secure or something IRL. I hope good things happen for you here too.

[Yady Smith]

Originally Posted by hankster

Actually I thought about you the other day as I was walking downtown. Not sure why, but your name came into my mind, "Chappy" is the name of my rocking horse. I never had one, of course, they were "for American kids" and I was "too big" to play on my cousin's, but when I saw some on display in a store window a couple of years ago, and a sign that said they we for sale, I finally got mine. I named him Chappy, because you have to wear chaps to ride a real horse, right, and because that is such a nice friendly British-ish name! CHAP. CHAPPY. I went a little nuts when I got him. ANYWAY - I don't think PC is a place to mope and feel BAD about yourself - I find I feel a lot better about myself since I joined in June. I feel like part of this community, like I really belong SOMEWHERE for once, and that has made me more secure or something IRL. I hope good things happen for you here too.

It's nice to feel loved! Thanks that gave me a good laugh. I hope I'm not moping I suppose I'm just trying to be honest. Glad PC is here though, it really is an interesting place, with lots of interesting and genuine people.

My only wish is that I can help someone along the way! How I can best do this I have yet to find out.

[dooples]

wow...I have had people to tell me to just get over it and get on with my life...I have always been a proud woman who didn't need help from anyone raising my 3 kids alone. That was my shining achievement, that I did not ruin my kids, as I was a very stressed out mom. Wondering how I was going to feed them at times. Even burnt some of our wood furniture in the fire place to stay warm. I was stubborn and proud. But I got up every day and provided for them. Now, I try every day to keep the regrets at bay. It is not easy to climb out of that deep dark hole. If all it took was to say it.....I would be out running the streets of New York City doing what I loved best. Challenges....of any and all kinds. I was ready for them. Now it is a challenge to just make it through a day. If I put my younger self side by side with who I am now...I wish I still had access to her.... I think she was awesome....but not me so much. Just trying to find the "reason" to continue through the pain of my soul.