Daily Check In - Ups and Downs

Welcome storm cloud. Whether we are up or down/happy or sad - it is good to know we aren't alone. Thanks for checking in!

Feeling okay mentally, but the body is achy. Weather changes make my muscles and joints hurt. Thank goodness for pain pills.

Thankful for no snow as well. We should have it by this time of the year.

Okay but really tired. Need more sleep. I wake up restless in the middle of the night then drift in and out. It may be my ad, but need to talk to Pdoc tomorrow. Ugh.

Work is BORING. Everything stops for the holidays, so there's nothing going on.

Enough of my whining, time for bed.

Today was good, until I turned on Pandora and every song reminded me of my ex

Am so full of mixed emotions today. Had been depressed for so long. Things are finally changing for the better. Am accepting myself more. Have been deeply affected by everyone's stories on PC. Truly admire everyone letting it all hang out. So brave, and so honest. Not used to it but am bowled over by it all. Am worried my older pets might pass away. Will I be able to handle the grief?

Feeling lonely and blue today.

The day is almost over though technically.

Feeling confused....I have been very down lately. I took off work today through Monday. A coworker that I haven't seen since last Thursday (she took off a few days and didn't come back until today, and now I am off) sent me a text this morning wishing me a happy holidays. I started crying after I got the text. I can't figure out why it affected me so much.

Trying to get through what has been a tough week, So many triggers for me, I have withdrawn a lot, I do this when I feel low, Isolate myself too. Sorry I know I am whinging. Hope you all stay well over christmas.

Up today due to the Pet Therapy lady called and is sending me registration forms to attend the next training secssion of class/course for our dog Jack and us.

So good to see my therapist today. I really needed that session.

Maybe taking a few more days out and being away from work might help to improve things a bit again.

Feeling pretty good today. It is a very quiet time of year at work - but since I'm wearing 5 hats while the rest of my group is on vacation, at least I'm not completely bored!

Now to see if I can summon up energy to wrap the last of the gifts... Feel free to kick me through your monitor.

Today is okay i guess. I woke up in a bad mood. I am not grouchy any more but I feel depressed. I was doing some cleaning and rearranging and found some pictures of my grandfather and "mom", who both past away and my grandmother, who lives in Hawaii and has Dementia.. It made me really sad and more depressed.. ..

SI'ed this evening & trying not to do it again. Wish I had my sleeping pills, but I don't, so hopefully I fall asleep some time soon. Wish I had the guts to call my T, but nannn (it's entirely tooo late to call anyway)...I'll just lay here til dreamland comes around to pick me up & I truly hope it won't be a bad ride 8\

I saw my t this morning. It was a good session...lots of things to think about.

Today is sad. My husband is a veteran of the Iraq war, who has combat stress. After a trigger at work a few weeks ago, he started falling again. He was put on new medication, but that medicine doesn't work. He told me today that he going to quit taking all the medicine. He said he's figured out his problem- Its me.

I know this isn't true, but it still hurts. I have depression also, and I don't think the medicine does any good when your home life is such a wreck. But I'm trying hard to hold it all together for the babies. It's been almost 3 years since he came home from Iraq.

I am even more sad because Christmas is this weekend. We have never had a good Christmas together. I had planned to leave him after last Christmas, but instead ended up pregnant.

I am not saying its all his fault. Just that put two clinically depressed people in the same house with a 4 month old baby and a rebellious toddler, add some holiday and work stress, some gloomy weather...and you have a disaster.

I have yet another good update. There's this guy who is willing (and already started) helping me cope with everything going on in my life. And I was able to go through some old pictures from my ex and his kids and didn't cry

The work week from hell is OVER!!

Finished wrapping presents, cooking dinner, and stuffing stockings. Now to collapse into a pile of goo. Daughter has been bugging us about what she got and when she can open the presents. Told her she'll find out when we're darn good and ready.

Had T today. Went okay. Found out he's working through the holidays because he has to move his office the weekend of New Year's. How messed up is that?

Miss Mom at this time of year, though. This is when we exchange wish lists and catch up on what's going on over the months. This is the second Christmas without her, and the first without my dad. I'll be okay, just a little sad.

Finished wrapping gifts and trying to pretend I'm in the holiday mood, but I'm really not. I guess it is like what my hub said earlier today - I want to go "home" for Christmas, but can't.

My parents live far away. My grandma hosted Christmas for almost my whole life, but she passed away 4 years ago on 12/21. I don't think I've really enjoyed the holidays for a number of years.

Thank you for your comments on Christmas. Although I am saddened that your family members can't be with you, it has led me to cheer up about my own Christmas. Even though my husband is going to ruin it for me and the kids, I'm still going to go to my mom's and enjoy the Christmas I do get to have with them. We never know if this is the last Christmas that one of us has.

I just want to get through the Christmas season, I am having it really hard.

I've been smiling ALL DAY!!! This is the first Christmas in a few years that I've truly been happy

For the past few days I've been feeling completely exhausted...like I have been up for days. I know I don't get good sleep, but it feels like I've had no sleep 8\

Well, it's 12 noon on Xmas, and i'm OK, which is good enough. Hooked up my new Blue Ray/WiFi/3D DVD player, and am watching ADELE on Blue Ray. Worked a little bit this am, and am holding it together so far.

So far Christmas has been peaceful. No family drama (finally!) Everybody liked their presents and we've been relaxing the rest of the day.

Hugs for everyone that's having a hard time this year. I had many times like that. They were painful and they sucked royally.

Xmas started off okay, I may even say good. But all of a sudden it's gone downdowndown. Gr.