Daily Check In - Ups and Downs

I'm on cymbalta right now... again, so things are going a bit better, but i'm still sad for some reason that I can't figure out... sad to the point like i miss someone so i might cry. but i dont know who that someone is.....

I shall stay positive about tomorrow (my birthday). Hardly anyone I asked to join me for a meal at a restaurant is coming so I might end up there (almost) on my own but I will enjoy the company of whoever I will see tomorrow and not be disappointed.

I'll also stop myself worrying about the usual stuff, which is particularly related to the awareness of getting older and the lack of a relationship and the recognition of never having a child to care for.

I shall be happy to be alive and have friends here and in the outside world (even if they can't make it to see me tomorrow).

Six more minutes to go and then the new day starts. Hopefully there will be a much better year ahead than the previous one was.

I wish you the happiest of Birthdays Shadow-world!

Why the hell does God have me here on this earth. I hate living!

Bad day - huge row with b/friend then come off his motorbike quite fast we both ended up in hospital, no major damage done but it hurts

Have to come up with new plans for today. Spouse is ill so original plans are out the door. Maybe I will finally clean this messy and chaotic room I sit in. Hard to find energy without sunshine, but will try replacing that with bright lights and good music. My main goal is stay upbeat and not sink into depressive thoughts.

Very anxious and depressed tonight and I don't know why.

Crap day, like always. going through my phone to talk to someone and nothing but people from work... who dont care. This sucks.

also very anxious and depressed tonight. today started out good, not sure what happened?

Sure wish this roller coaster of life would just level off.

Feeling lonely. someone in my bldg whom I have known for almost 20 years is leaving...

Another Monday over - thank goodness! Tired, really tired. Is it ok if I just call it a day and head for bed?

Horrible day. I had a migraine last night so I didn't sleep well, and when I did sleep, I had bad dreams. I ended up cutting today after no SIing for almost 2 weeks. I am such a failure.

((((agma))))keep trying, you went two weeks, that is good. Tomarrow is a new day try to go longer than two weeks, but do it one day at a time. Give yourself care and love, be kind to yourself, you have to learn to do that.

(((((Hugs))))

Open Eyes

((((hugs)))) to those that need them.

I feel kind of ok I thought with giving up smoking would be much harder than this, I know it's only day 2 but still I am coping Went out this morning so maybe it is because I have had a busy day

'been sick for 9 days with a cough; waiting to hear from Dr. on call.
Sunny day it is, anyway.

(((((azjay1007)))))

I think you should talk to your pdoc and see if you can try a different antidepressant, if you have been on one for months it should be working by now.

Hang in there, talk to your pdoc don't give up, some people have to try different meds before they find the right one.

Open Eyes

Feel really bad. I did something wrong today and feel really bad about it. I read someone's text messages today with them not knowing and read something I really did not like. It filled me with such anxiety and depression. I'm numb and guilty.

It's been a really bad day for me. Feel very strange and can't think a positive thought.

Bad day today for a couple reasons. I can't believe I did something so stupid. Anxiety has been horrible tonight. Wanted to SI tonight to make the anxiety go away but I haven't yet. I think I am just going to go to bed.

This was a mixed day for me. If I could just sleep one full night, I might feel ok. Depression and anxiety was moderate today.

Good Choice!

It just hit me real hard tonight...depression is no joke. Why is it being taken lightly when it comes to me? Is there a certain criteria or requirement I need to meet before someone takes me seriously? Do I have to start back having suicidal thoughts & feelings? What is it? I just feel like crap & no one gives a damn

Im feeling numb ....its 2 years tomorrow when my son died.
He was my favourite child my first born.
He said one time on his death bed "...mum dont think of me
as your favourite..you'll forget me given time.."
He knew how to break my heart.He hugged everybody.
Everybody loved him. He just didnt love or value himself.
My husband threw away some frozen food of my sons
yesterday and it choked me up.Im trying not to hoard his
stuff..But I wish someone would crush me in a hug just
to see if I have any feelings left..(I hope my Creator doesn't
look down on me with a frown for these too often thoughts).

((((((((((((((((((((Juliaspavlov)))))))))))))))))))