Daily Check In - Ups and Downs

It's been a rollercoaster of a day....woke up feeling really down, then my mood lifted and I felt ok, and now I am back down again. I am trying to decide if I am going to talk to my t tomorrow about my concerns around my eating (restricting and purging). I know I should, but I don't know if I will be able to.

Having a really really bad day. I haven't felt this low in a while.. I've messed everything up. I feel so lonely, I miss my boyfriend like crazy and even know we've only been going out a short amount of time I'm scared he's going off me alreeady.. and all I want is someone to talk to.

Got three commissions working on and a client interview on odesk, she will try to get my projects compiled in a book with other artists. I feel encouraged and happy at the same time.

Shed tears for the first time for the lost of my great grandma she passed away last friday. It felt good in a way. But I had an okay day I just kind of went by the day in a daze, tired and numb. Hope this gets better.

Just sunk so low. I don't know when I will be able to stop hurting over not having my parents & family apart of my life. I see so many with/talk about their family, children, mom, dad & it saddens me that I don't have that.

Hugs to u!! I'm so sorry ur hurting this way!!

Sending hugz to EVERYONE here today.......seems like there are so many who need hugz. I really wish I could do more to make you all feel/know how much you are respected, cared for and needed Here. I look forward to checking in on you guys as it helps me as well in the sense that I get to help even a little and I know that when I am down you will be there to help pull me up.

Thanks to all of you for being here and Always checking in even when its not so good great or down right awful.
Hugz
Nams

I've gone from 77 to 55 points on the Beck test in one month. I'm having a great day. Well, great in the context of severe depression.

I want to do nothing right now but I need to...

I'm in a bad depressive episode right now. I feel so alone . I feel depressed, hopeless, alone, and unloveable.

Another day struggling to take care of myself. Its nearly 2 pm and I am not even dressed. It's just like pushing **** uphill.

Big squeeze you up hug if you'll have one of mine. Love you Possum.

Its 3 am and I'm still awake!! Not tired but know I should sleep!!

A bit on the low side of the bounce.

I'm doing pretty awful. Hopeless and lonely.

Having problems with pages loading here today for some reason ? could very well be on my end but wanted to make sure I said Hello.....Things are really good missing my family bunches but still feeling really balanced & for once its lasting

Huge Hugz
Nams

Meh !

Still swingy at this day...

Hoping I can sleep tonight! Not looking hopeful!!

I'm really talkative today. I go threw this thing where I just don't really talk for along time and then one day I'm just so talkative. Well I'm really talkative today and my mom has been doing okay with listening to me but my dad just wants me to shut up. He keeps laughing at me and making stupid comments. Tommorrow I will be back to not talking. I don't know why I go threw this cycle but I do. I'm just annoyed because I hate feeling like what I say don't matter.

not feeling well lately...getting a bit better though I guess

although why am I wide awake at 3 am!!!! and gotta be up by 6???? meds i bet...

Managed about 4 hrs sleep, was up for about an hour then managed another 2 hrs. Still feel numb and dead inside. I wish this would pass!!

Xeneon Wow ! That's quite a ramble.

Another day of record high temps. wondering if I should play hooky ?

I hate my life. My mood is still really low. Thankfully I see my pdoc next week because I think my meds need to be adjusted.