Is suicide selfish?

Possible Trigger. Please read with care:


Usually when folks contemplate suicide they aren't thinking how it'll effect those around them... they just want to get rid of the long term pain they have been feeling. Some people even think everyone would be better off without them and suicide is their only option. It depends on the situation. One can turn it around and say it's selfish for wanting to keep one alive because they don't want to let them go. But I'm thinking that on a end where someone is in a vegetative state and terminally ill. It depends on the situation and honestly nothing is ever black and white. There's always exceptions.

Trigger warning for those with love ones who passed on 911:

The jumpers on 911. They killed themselves before the fire/smoke/collapse of the towers did but to say that was a selfish act is beyond ignorance of the situation and overpowered with a strong "moral" belief. The jumpers on 911 I see as hero's themselves by making that choice. They chose to jump knowing that they were going to die. Instead of letting the enemy kill them with a horrible death they freed themselves by jumping despite how scary that must of been.

I have thought about suicide many times but always think about my kids, Would I ever go through with it? No..

Is it selfish?... Well I know myself when I have thought about suicide I get so depressed I don't think about those around me (accept my kids) I think that I won't be missed anyway, So my mind says " I am not loved anyway".

*Trigger*

On another note.
A friend of mine her husband killed himself about 15 years a go and they have a daughter together (the child was just 6 at the time) she was always told by her mother that her dad died of an illness, Later when she was about 15 she found out the truth and she now has many problems, Drug abuse, anger issues as her dad killed himself whilst she was sleeping and was babysitting her (now that is what I call selfish) what if she found him? Luckily it didn't happen because his wife returned home from work and found him hanging.

I'm sorry that your husband committed suicide and your daughter is suffering from it. Given the situation I would consider it selfish.

It wasn't my hubby that commited suicide it was my friends husband.

I'm jumping in a bit late on this thread.....but have several things to say about it.

First......I believe that our bodies are the temple of God....when we believe, the Holy Spirit is within us to guide us through this life. Therefore, it is not our place to damage, hurt our bodies in any way & definitely NOT to kill. This goes for the elderly or the mentally ill as Hitler chose to do during his time or ruling in Germany. Given that belief, I believe that each person is to live until God naturally takes them to their eternal home to be with him.

That said.........I have to admit that from around 1995 - 2000, I can't even remember how many suicide attempts I actually had even though these were my beliefs.
I did not go into those attempts with any sureness.....I honestly went into them with no thought at all about anything other than I no longer wanted to deal with the issues I was dealing with & saw no way out other than suidice. I had a daughter in high school at the time......I am sure that my suicide attempts must have really messed her up at the time.....I thank God that we have a much better relationship now & there is love between us & she knows that my attempts had absolutely NOTHING to do with her. They had much to do with the loss of my career & the bad marriage I was in with her father.....but that fact about her father is not something I share with her. I definitely agree that at the time we are making the attempt on our life, we don't even look into the future to think that there may be better times ahead because the now feels so bleak that there is no desire even if there were better times ahead to have to wait until then.

God choose to keep me alive in spite of myself as there were several times or more that I should have NOT made it through alive. There was a greater purpose for my life that I definitely could not have possibly known.....one was protecting my mother from the home care person that was involved in her life when she was dying of cancer. I managed to keep the damage she did at a minimum....kept her from cashing the checks she wrote, I think I kept her from getting my mom to actually give her the house.....but I wasn't able to keep her from OD'ing my mom on her morphine but was able to get my mother to a safe place so that she could die in peace. At that time I had no idea that I could sell my mothers house & use that money to get as far away from my husband as possible & start my own new life with it & by a farm that I have wanted all my life......let alone find wonderful new friends in a place where I started out knowing NO ONE......& the best part of the move was getting into a place where my belief in God could change into a real relationship which is what God wants from us in the first place.

Yes, if I had been successful, I would have never had the chance to enjoy the wonderful life I have now which is even more wonderful than having the career I always wanted to have from the time I can remember.

Remember, this is one person's path through the darkness of suicide along with my beliefs......they were definitely in direct conflict with each other....but at the time, the conflict never entered my mind because I really didn't care. Interesting this journey we call our life & the winding path it takes.

Does it really matter? Lives are permanently messed up following a completed attempt. When my uncle killed himself I did not lament on whether he was selfish or not. I got very depressed and blamed myself for his behavior for a long time. His actions forever impacted those of us who lived through this horrible act. He was gone. That's all that mattered. Sorry to be so blunt but this one is personal to me. Hope you find the answers you seek if that is important to you -

Is suicide selfish = YES. All Done.

I've thought about it a lot recently, but I could never do it because it would hurt my family. I agree with everyone saying that it isn't selfish if you are really suffering and don't see a way out. I have been there! But what I think people miss is that it does get better. I'm still the person that says its a personal choice, but it would hurt those that love you. So I think in some regards it is a little selfish because you couldn't wait it out, but at the same time its not because you have probably been fighting this pain for so long! My T always says "its a long term solution to a short term problem." I've seen that floating around here as well because it is true. Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. You can't take it back, but things will most likely turn around someday if you hold on. Just my thoughts. I know I agreed with both sides, but it really is a complicated topic.

I feel like its not selfish to kill yourself, but it still can have an impact on others so its not worth doing. If it werent for my immediate family suicide might be something Id consider. I just cant do that to mom,dad, and brother no matter how awful I feel and how much I wish I was dead sometimes. Plus, I keep hoping that maybe my life can improve in the future. But in my opinion if someone decides to commit suicide, and they no one would be hurt or effected by it, I think it is that person's decision to make.

Mostly I find it sad ... That's all, just sad ...

Sad for the person who's done it and sad for those left behind that have to deal with the aftermath ...

Other than that, I haven't lived their life, so I'm not qualified to judge their decision in any way, shape or form ...

What's more selfish? the person trying to end their pain that seems insurmountable or the jerks that are supposed to love and care for them that are asking them to live and suffer so they don't have to??

I can tell you, reading through this, that I understand WELL the mental pain... the absolute anquish of wanting to choosing death over life at some point. I may be a new poster but I did see the notice about discussing suicide, and I will do my best to make this as rule friendly as possible, I just thought I would share something for thought.

I completely agree with a quote written by cboxpalace on page 2 where he says,

When such a state of complete anguish and depression hits, usually either the one in question's life has never been what they have expected and something finally pushed them over the edge, or a sudden traumatic event has struck that stripped them from happiness and placed them in what I call the state of abyss. (Note: What I am about to describe obviously may not be the case in every instance, but it may open a few eyes to some of the feelings experienced in this state.)

In this state the one in question can feel not only as though his life has lost control but also that he has lost control of himself. There is a pain in his heart that can be so overwhelming at times that the suicidal person may not be able to do much other than lie down or cry. He may not feel the will to eat, drink, or sleep (or all he may do is sleep) because he feels empty... scared... abandoned... as if a prisoner in his own body held down by invisible shackles. Due to the stigma associated with suicide, the one in question may continue to bottle in his pain... or he may try to tell others... or hint to others hoping they catch on to his thoughts. Many times, the person DOES want help, but our current religion-infested, judgemental society often pushes this person away, and many in this position are terrified of what a psychiatrist or hotline may do. (I for one would be terrified of the thought or possibility of being sent to a mental hospital...)

NOW... many of us here, I'm sure, knew that the things above can happen with depression but here is the part I wanted to really share. To many people, when the mental destruction becomes so intense that he cannot take it anymore, that voice inside i'm sure we've all heard at one point or another becomes stronger... and it can become so intense and constant, EXPECIALLY when the one in question is left alone, that all other thoughts can be blocked out of the person's mind. Thoughts of family, selfishness, friends, and the aftermath of the incident can be blocked out by that voice inside that gloats, and taunts, and teases, and tries so hard to convince you that you have no reason to be here anymore...

Sometimes a thought comes up that can prevent one in this state from proceeding... one of the thoughts that was previously blocked from their mind crawls back inside and prevents the actions. At other times though, the taunting and convincing continues, as the victim's heart begins to feel intense pressure, bottling everything up inside at a frighteningly quick rate, and the pressure quickly WILL overflow, (We can only take so much...) and an action will occur... whether this be a scream, a loud cry, or if the desired method of suicide is nearby, a desperate attempt to escape... with nothing on your mind but this horrid pain... sometimes it can lead the person to write a note to loved ones, but even if they are on the person's mind, his mind is very pained and fogged at this point and is not thinking anywhere near clearly. (Think about the novel "1984" and Wilson's personality at the beginning as opposed to the ending. It's a whole new state of mind. To this person, he has suffered a temporary change, similar to the example given, putting him into a state of mind composed of pain and anguish.) If a method is not nearby, a plan may be made and, if the feelings persist, carried out at a later date.

I won't go into much more detail, in fear that I've already broken some rule, and I know this isn't the case with every person with suicidal feelings, but I do know this is how it is for some... and for those who are in this position, as to answer the question of this topic... if someone feels this sort of intense pain, to the point where they can barely even remember anything or anyone around them, and they end their lives in that moment when it just can't be held in any longer than no... i don't consider them selfish. They may have left others behind, they may have left a mess, but they couldn't control their thoughts and pain enough to realize fully what they were doing. I believe many who commit suicide feel something similar to the scenario I described above, give or take some, and that's why I can sympathize greatly with it. It's a horrible situation, that many in our current world could not understand if you tried to explain it, and that is why so many are left alone to cross a mountain one is not strong enough alone to climb...

(I am in no way saying they should end their lives if they get into this state, this is just to make it easier for those who have not experienced that breaking point to understand that it is a much more complicated situation that simply thinking about those you care about and it will all be solved. There are other times when you can feel suicidal thoughts, and can pull yourself out much easier than the situation I mentioned above, but what I was trying to describe was the absolute BREAKING point... the point of no return that only a small percentage of those who have suicidal thoughts ever get pulled into.)

I believe in most cases it is not selfish. They're thinking is skewed/irrational. You can't take something irrational and force it to be rational. It's difficult to apply logic and morals to this kind of behavior.

Psychotic Depression. It's a whole 'nother animal. I was depressed and psychotic when I drove headfirst into a tree at 60mph. There is absolutely nothing rational about a state of mind when experiencing this. Not one thing. My pdoc said to me "next time let us know". I thought he, of all people, would know that a psychotic mind wouldn't be rational enough to recognize how skewed/irrrational its' thought patterns were. Is suicide selfish? Not in every case.

When I attempted it, I seriously believed the people in my life would be relieved. That I wouldn't be a terrible burden anymore and everyone could breathe again.

At that point, a person's thinking is so warped that an 'objective' reality simply does not exist. Like others before me said, nothing can be selfish about a person at that stage because they are not rational, they are not themselves.

That's the selfish part; it's not what other people want for you, it is what they want for themselves, you in their world. Suicide tears a hole in the space time continuum and that affects everyone:

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." ~John Donne

That is how I feel as well except I'm on the fence. Someone I know just committed suicide a couple days ago. I understand it and won't judge his decision. I feel nothing about it, while I am sad for his family I have no other emotion. I've been to that point many times but I have young children and that's what has kept me going, at least for now.

I feel so depressed so helpless n suicidal rite nw. I c suicide as da nli way out 4 me