[Twisted_Soul]

Ok, some one tell me this is something they have experienced...please.

On Effexor 225mg and believe it or not my head has clarity to it. Much more so then in the past several months. I am sure the combination of meds and therapy are what is helping me. But, I am actually thinking positive thoughts. I can actually see accomplishments I have made along the way. Although I still crave attention and validation at times, it isn't as intense and I am able to get stressed without wanting to die every single time.

But, I am scared. This is so new. The darkness can still be noticed here and there. It isn't completed gone. But, to be able to have more then 1 day of clarity and rational thinking is a very new thing for me. And, it is frightening at the same time.

[Rhapsody]

I understand.... for while the CHAOS was unhealthy and very stressful - We knew how to handle that, for we live with in it every day - it is the Rational Side of us (our mind) that is the Scary side, for we do not know how to function within its realm.

I have been there - done that......................... many times over. I am now trying to let it be my friend.





LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[lenjan]

You'll get used to it, and it's a good thing to get used to. And the scary thoughts will resurface in times of great stress. But now you have better ways of coping with them. Hooray!

Candy

[OnEdge]

You can't imagine how much hope your post has given me! I only hope I can say the same thing as I progress through the Effexor and therapy. How great for you!

[Twisted_Soul]

(((((OnEdge))))
I usually am labeled "treatment resistent" when it comes to taking meds. For, I believed they would never help me. But with Effexor, I really am feeling better.
I hope you will feel the hope and the goodness I have just begun to feel.

I know it isn't going to be the cure. I know I will have bad days from time to time. But, the clarity in my head has been amazing!

[OnEdge]

(((((Twisted Soul)))))

I'm soooo glad for you. Thanks for your wishes. I hope the drug works well for me and that my T and I can get to the bottom of some long standing issues.

[heartspace]

Awww Twisted I know how you feel. You know what? Those negative thoughts that used to plague you were painful but they can be comfortable too. It can be hard to give up the safety of what we know and are familiar with to get better. Because getting better means doing more, expecting more of ourselves and that's scary and challenging. But stick with it. It's soooooooooo worth it. We only have one life. It's worth being courageous to make the best of it. Eventually the weird feeling of feeling normal will become normal. I don't know if anything I'm saying is even making sense. But I know what you're going through and although I can appreciate that it's hard and scary, in a way I'm happy for you. Not that I want you to feel bad. But I can see that you're improvinig and admire your courage in choosing that route in your journey. Hang in there.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Soul,

I know exactly what you're saying. I was taking a med that made things so clear, I even questioned why I was in therapy, I felt sooooo good. I wasn't able to take it any more for medical reasons, but while I had those times of clarity, I did "miss" those internal thoughts because they had become my "friend" so to speak. It is difficult to discribe, I agree. So, I decided to use those moments of clarity to further my progress - take the good days and use them and try to remember how I felt when I had bad days. I still have bad days, more so than good, but - that's the cycle I guess.

I'm glad you're feeling better and wish you many more days like that!

[(JD)]

Things that are usual have a sense of comfort in the knowing of them, even if they are negative overall. Change is often difficult, even if it's good change!

I hope it continues for you. The fact that it's happened at all is a good sign: there is hope!