Reached the end of my resources

I don't know how else to deal with or handle my ADHD son. (I am not posting this on the ADHD forum because this is more about me than about my son's ADHD - is this ok?)

I got a call from his teacher today who told me that for such a bright boy, 8 weeks at school have pretty much been wasted and that his medication might as well be sweets.

My husband gets angry with the child. I get angry with my husband. I get angry with myself. Today - all I could do was cry. I have made many parenting mistakes, but I try - I really do.

I don't want this to trigger me into another episode.

I feel so sorry for my child. I feel so sorry for me. I feel so ......... sorry!

Having a zero-tolerance level isn't exactly helping.

I have done so much research. I have read books. I know what I am supposed to - yet I feel that I fail miserably each and every time he does something beyond his control but that makes me shake with frustration and irritation and anger.

I am so downhearted right now. His teacher was very kind when she spoke to me = not judgemental at all, but her forthrightness about stuff I already KNOW has terrified me!! Especially since the child is medicated!

I can't afford the play therapy I need to send my son to but I guess I am going to "beg and borrow" so that he can go.

I don't feel nice. I feel dark. I feel worried. And I feel sad (Hey! that could have gone to the creative forum!) Well at least I still have my sense of humour. Maybe not all is lost.

I am sorry this is so long. Thanks for letting me talk.

Sorry, Sabrina! I hear you! If you want to vent in private- I'm here for you.

(((((((((((Sabrina)))))))))

Thanks my friend. I know you're there. In between trying not to blow a fuse at my son who should be going to bed but is acting like the energizer bunny on speed, I am also doing the dishes, and packing away the laundry, and sweeping the floor and ... and ... and popping in here and becoming increasingly irritated because I am unable to sit here and just be me!

It's tough taking care of the home and feeling so low at the same time. You're doing a great job! But please, see to it that you get some rest also.

I have faith in you, my friend! Stay calm, breathe... you can do this!

Thanks Nina. You are a very calming influence. And you understand.

I'm glad that my little words could be to some help. You've helped me to see more clearly and to feel love in my darkest hours. You're one of the most lovable persons I've come across, so of course I'll listen to you. It's hard work dealing with a child, when there are issues like these involved. But when he's older, he will know that his mother helped him and loved him very much, when he was little.
Keep posting- we're here for you!

Sabrina -

How about getting your son a "mentor" some therapy agencies have "mentor" programs. There is also big brothers, big sister programs. Im told my son has benefitted from having a mentor. The mentor takes him out to do things like baseball, football games, or just out hanging out at movies parks and so on. Being an only child on my end of things and his father out of the picture and I don't introduce my son to my dates he had no male role model worth "looking up to" and so on. Once my son had a mentor some of his behaviors started changing for the better.

Another thing to consider - accademic testing. when my son was in kindergarten and his behavior was out of whack they did accademic testing to see where he was grade material wise. It turned out that some of his behavior problems were from his being bored. He was a kindergartener being taught kindergarten skills when he was functioning at a second grade level. So they started layloring his work to his level and split his day between attending to different grade - one in the morning and the other in the afternoon. Since his behavior problem escalated in afternoons that was when he was in the easier classroom. He improved so much that he recieved a award at the end of the school year.

Sorry to hear of your trials with this. Please don't take all the responsibility for your son's success... time to motivate the entire family into discussing options, and responsibilities. If you all need help, then you need help. You're talking about future happiness that, imo, won't come if you don't make some corrections now.

It won't be easy. Few things worth the effort are easy TC Do your best, ask for help, ask everyone you know for resources SOMEONE will have an idea that will pan out.

Sorry you're feeling so low. You have so much to deal with at the moment. I bet you're doing a much better job than you give yourself credit for. And don't forget to take the time to be kind to yourself: time to pamper yourself and take care of your emotional needs.

Thank you to everyone. All comments and support is very much appreciated.

sabrina...i can so relate to your frustrations and would like to talk more to you about it....i have a 27 yr old son with tourette's syndrome and now a nine year old grandson with add and tourette's...knowing what i went through all those years with my son....my heart breaks for my daughter....i know your pain honey and you can vent to me anytime.....i understand.i really do

Sabrina, I so understand what you're going through, only my daughter hasn't wasted 8 weeks, she's wasted 3/4 of the school year. She's bright, she just doesn't learn the way the school teaches, but they don't consider her to have a learning disability. It's so hard when you want to help and you keep coming up against brick walls.

(((((((((((((((Sabrina))))))))))))))))

Many hugs,
Fuzzy

butterflylady - yes I would love to talk more.

Those brick walls!!! Thank you for understanding. I need that!!

Thank you dear friend Fuzzybear!!!!