My rage reached an all time high...trigger

I am soo pissed off that if someone gave me dishes i would smash them all..them smash those pieces to nothing......I am sooo mad i can hardly catch my breath!!!!!!!!!!! It started at work. I dont care this is soooo messed up even more...everyone takes everything away from me..and the fact is nothing really happened but just mere realization that i already knew....i work so hard....i just work and work and work and try and try and try and sweat and bleed for others...and what do they do THEY CRITIZE ME............all they do is tell me IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH..........The say The world owes you nothing...WELL GUESS WHAT I OWE THE WORLD NOTHING....no body allows me to feel anything....TO THEM I AM NOTHING....but guess what...i am something..im a human being...with a heart...and with feelings...and who NEEDS LOVE.....and they sit there on their high horses...those horses SUPPLIED BY ME.....and tell me how worthless i am....well you know what F**** them!!!!!!!!!!!! How can someone be so cruel to someone? Im just a person ....im not a monster...and they treat me like that...i work soo hard so i can say i earned this...or i earned that...but no...they say you filthy little monster...all you do is mess up ..no body needs you you little parasite....how dare you come into our presence with your stupid little filthy self.....but i was ok to help you restore your friendships...i was ok to restore your messed up marriage...i was ok to take your anger out on ...i was ok to be your s*x toy.....I WAS OK TO BE NOTHING SO YOU COULD BE SOMETHING...I WAS OK TO PUT MY LIFE AND MY NEEDS ON HOLD TO GET YOU WHERE YOU NEEDED TO BE....AND YOU WONT EVEN LET ME CRY???????????????? YOU WONT LET ME SMILE?????????? YOU WONT LET ME BREAK DOWN ??????? I HATE YOU MY ABUSERS I HATE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO TORMENTED ME FOR FUN I HATE ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO WOULD HIT ME AND TEASE ME AND RUIN MY PROJECTS THAT I WORKED SO HARD ON...I HATE MY PARENTS FOR THROWING OUT MY BABY PICTURES...I HATE EVERYONE WHO HATES AND HATED ME I CANT STAND MYSELF AND I CANT STAND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST LET ME BE ME....dear God just let me be me for me......(falls on the floor bawling) why cant you just let me alone stop tormenting me please....i have endured so much pain and so much neglect to help you and you have taken me and shoved my face in the ground and you have ripped the clothes off my body and you have let me bled and even held out the razor for me....i cant take this anymore....i just cant take this pain and anguish

(((((((((((((((((inny)))))))))))))))))) I just pm'd you hon

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((inny)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

my dear sweet inny
please remember the plan
is now the time to go
start again somewhere new

inny i wish i was there
around the corner
so i could take u away
and protect u
and care for u

i luv you inny
just for u being u
i have no expectations
no judgments
all i have is love
endless love to give u

i do have flies here thou
millions of them
and no more fly spray

stay safe and strong inny

(((((((((((((inny))))))))))))))))))))))

BABY I SO LOVE YOU ,PLEASE BELIEVE THIS AND FEEL THIS SPECIAL HUG I'M SENDING TO YOU

READ MY PM

LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART

JINNY E.MOM XOXOXOXOXOX