[LadyDragus]

I am having some feelings that I can not put my finger on just yet..

I feel like I am losing my inner being, I feel like I am losing myslef in ways I have never thougt I would lose myself.. I am so scared that I will not be me anymore..
I no longer speak up when my feelings are hurt, and I no longer care ?
I am in a state of denial I know that for sure. But I can not place my finger on where I would have gone, or where I am going.
I have someone in my life that does love me no matter what, but at times is just feels like that is not enough.. Why do I feel this way, Why do I no longer feel loved, even when I know he loves me??

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
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[Rapunzel]

When you do not love yourself, other people still can love you but you don't allow yourself to feel loved.

If anyone knows how to start loving yourself when you don't, please let me know. I think that recognizing and accepting other people's love for you could be a starting point.

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>

[LadyDragus]

see that is the thihng, I know my fiance loves me.. and I feel something very storongly for him..

Some days it feels like love, others I feel nothing .. These are the days that I write on here.

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
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[heatherm]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lady Dragus}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am thinking of you hun and hoping today is going ok for you. We are here for you.


Heather

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on."
~~Robert Frost

[minky]

Hi honey,

You gave me some invaluable advice the other day at a time when i couldnt see the wood for the trees.

i find myself not liking myself.... ive finally admitted this to my counsellor. If someone hurts your feelings dont hold the emotion in... let it out be it frustration and anger or anything else you feel. If you hold in the emotion its hard to release it again... its taken me ages to admit things to myself i never knew were in me.

Youve found someone who loves you. You must be a very special and loving person for them to still be there for you. Its easy to brush love aside, ive done it in the past.

You told me happiness has to be found within me, this is where you need to find the love for yourself. look deep, look past everything until you find that love you once felt. its there believe me... im struggling to find mine but if you like we can look together?

Thanks for your reply to me.. you gave me some faith in myself and also in this forum. I dont even know you and i think you are one of the most special people

Minky xx

[Duchess]

Patricia,
All I can say is I remmber those moments, the moments of no control and pure Isolation. not carring of what was going on around me.the feeling of losing my inner being, such a scarey place in time. trying to fight away the pure Love that stood next to me day in and day out. try not too look back and don't listen too yourself. look at everything your accomplishing, your degrees, your children your love. most people can't even get out of bed. I know that it is such a tough battle to fight. but, you shall get threw this. your sanity will be restored when you find peace within yourself. you will be YOU once again....I hope everything is well, and wish you nothing but LOVE...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Duchess~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ABOUT THE NINTH HOUR JESUS CRIED OUT IN A LOAD VOICE, "ELOI,ELOI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?"~WHICH MEANS~"MY GOD, MY GOD,WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?"
~MATTHEW27:46.
MY GOD,MY GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?WHY ARE YOU SO FAR FROM SAVING ME,SO FAR FROM THE WORDS OF MY GROANING?~ PSALM 22:1

[LadyDragus]

Thank you.

I know this is a battle I have fought before, but last time I lost it, I did nto have others to talk to, to I quess put my ideas down for others to say, that is not a good idea, or hey try this..

I have never had a support network this large, and It is helping me beyond words..

Thank you ever so much

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
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[LadyDragus]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Minky }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]]

I am glad I gave you some support when you need it the most, now you hve returend the favor, and yes I love the idae of looking fotr that with each other.
Two heads are always better than one..
I borke down and told my boyfreind yersterday what is going on inside of me, he even said he would help me find that love again, for he misses that part of me..
He knew somethign was wrong, but could not put his little finger on it, so he is willing to hlep me look now too..

I am looking very deeply, but I have found nothing.. But this time I do nto think I will give up my serach as easliy as I did the last time

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
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[LadyDragus]

So far so good. I have class in about an hour, but otherwise so far so good..
Hey at least I got up out of bed this moring when I really did nto want too.

All I want to do is sleep, and never wake up, but I cant do that just yet.....

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
<font color=purple>

[James123]

Well one thing is that you are depressed probably obviously. Being depressed is very difficult, for sure. Another thing is you should see a therapist and be on some different medicine or no medicine possibly. Your a intelligent person and refer to better times in your life and join a support group, if ya can it sounds like you have sme more issues that can be resolved. The trick is to find out exactly what behavior or stimuli around you that caused this than work on it with a therapist who is capable of doing so. Even if ya can also get some psychology books related to what your going through and read up and become sort of an expertise if you will like what I have been pursuing. It helps a bit. It's tough I completely understand and you need support and to work on those issues that are interfering with you living a fulfilling contented existence.

What you don't know is what you need to know, Stay before ya go

[LadyDragus]

Thank you for the new input.. I had did all the things you just said and still do to this day..

I no longer go to my therpist, for I can not afford it, and I just do not have the time.. School takes a great deal of my time, i am hpong next year when the new spring session starts I may be able to get back into the swing of things and be able to go back to him. or find someone new that will wrok with me better..

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
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