Coping with "xmas"

I ranted in another topic about this season of insanity and thought it might be better as a new topic. Following is my rant. How does this season affect all of you and how do you cope?

Quoting myself: "You said you can't stand the hustle and bustle. Me, too. I despise it! What a scam the "establishment" has spawned in order to sell millions of nearly useless products that no one seems to need or want the rest of the year. Many Christians, and others, have rebelled against Halloween, I wonder why there has been no similar protest of "Xmas". (Xmas, not Christmas, because my guess is Jesus would be aghast at what has been done in his name.)

Xmas climaxes with the big gift opening ceremonies. We do it "for the children" who are insanely happy with the shower of gifts. That is happy from the time they begin to understand about age 4 until the time they figure out this is the annual opportunity to strong arm parents into spending money they often can't afford, about age 10.

What's left after that? A few teenage years of unabashed greed, then a lifetime of seasonal longing for the return of the childhood glee. Then more years of foisting the whole mess on the next generation.

It is all such a complicated and snarled up mess. I wish I could call a complete end to it in my domain. I have mostly managed to halt the gaudy decor of crappy cheap trinkets and lights. We still exchange a few gifts, but not many. I would rather give things that are truly needed throughout the year."

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

OK, I already ranted long and hard in the original thread, and found this new thread when I was through...

My personal angst this season can be found here

This is an interesting thread kvinn.....I can understand how you feel. It has become very commercialized and that takes some of the meaning out of it.

I do think that I try to instill the true meaning of Christmas with my children. I make sure that it doesn't get lost in the hustle and that the spirit stays with us.

I lost my Mom last year on Christmas (27th) and am having a difficult time this year. If I did not have my sons I doubt that I would have felt like celebrating it at all. What I have done though is look through the eyes of them.

What was it like when you were younger Kvinn? Do you have a memory that stands out to you when you were a child? I am just curious . It is also my birthday on Christmas Day so I have always had mixed feelings there too....used to think I was the baby Jesus...cute eh?


Heather

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on."
~~Robert Frost

I really sympathize with you Dexter....gosh that is sad how your friends don't appreciate what you have done. You really see who cares when you are down and out.

I think it is a good idea to volunteer your time with a shelter or food kitchen maybe? Are you up to doing something like that this year? You have a very giving and caring side to you and that is admirable.....direct it at yourself and those that need it.


Heather

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on."
~~Robert Frost

>>I think it is a good idea to volunteer your time with a shelter or food kitchen maybe?

I've done that in the past but was unable to last year mostly because of the arthritis. I was going to try again this year for Thanksgiving but in addition to the arthritis, the depression just really had (has) me zapped for energy and motivation.

I may still try, my other thought is to just hide under the blankets until February.

During one of my recent calls to a hotline they also recommended that I volunteer for a local animal shelter. I currently don't have any pets although I love cats and have had them in the past (or rather, they have had me, you know how cats are). I've been thinking seriously about getting a cat but have been reluctant out of fear of being able to take care of it, unsure about my own future, afraid of any sorts of commitments right now. I think the shelter is a good idea although I haven't done it yet. It would be a good way to get some of the benefits of animals without the commitment of caring for one full time. If my energy improves I hope to follow through with that.

It may be a good idea for others to consider as well so I thought I'd mention it. And thank you for the suggestion of volunteering, that is a good and very positive coping skill. If I manage to get myself out at all this season I will let everyone know.

I know how you feel I have already have had loved ones rag on me for not geting them anything yet or not being able to get them something expensive. As people get older they just seem to get greedy, I don't know. I work in a toy store and it is great to see the little kids asking santa for toys and stuff though.

Hello K,

I agree with you, Xmas is a time of year when all of my family members who dont
give a crap all year long about how I am doing or what is going on with me to get together
and be fake. I see my stepsister once a year. I have no idea anything about her except
once a year I see her, of course you people know more about me than her. The stupid
cameras are out so everyone can remember this "wonderful" day of opening gifts and
of us all being in the same house. anyhow I'll shut up now. Pretty soon it will all be
over with and we can all go on with our real lives(my family) and 365 days later........
They can all gather up again like they give a rats ssa.

MerryXmas Krzy Kris

KRZYKRIS

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

I am sorry about your mom Heather. We lost our father at xmas time too so it's always carries some sadness with it. My husband's birthday is on xmas day. He refuses to acknowledge it. ha ha I guess I still love xmas though mainly because of my grandaughter. She's so much fun.

The historic record of the birth of Christ can be found in Matthew 1:18-25
and Luke 2:1-20.

Well all it's Christmas time again! You know how I know it's Christmas time? My mailbox is stuffed with junk. it's always stuffed with junk, but this junk mail has holly and pine trees and reindeers on it.

actually it's not christmas yet- in the traditional church calender this season leading up to Christmas is called Advent. Advent means 'coming' and this is the season that many churches celebrate the events leading up to the coming of Christ to the earth just over 2000 years ago. Many European cultures have special traditios during Advent, such as lighting Advent candles and singing special hymns each Sunday in Advent.

Well, our society has it's own Advent traditions, doesn't it? Most of them seem to involve stressful shopping trips, end-of-year parties, and the like. And people start talking about the spirit of Christmas (or Xmas). Listen to this ad from a newly renovated shopping complex.
"There's no better way to enjoy the spirit of Christmas than by discovering our newest and most desirable shops.' NOT!!

Another ad says " the spirit of giving means more then ever." Who are they Kidding??
What they really mean is the spirit of spending. Preferably in their store!

Here's one off the Internet, from a website advertising cross stitch pictures of Santa: 'Our magical glowing santa reflects the spirit of love and giving. He holds the star of Christmas in his hand.'

What is this spirit of Christmas that everyone is talking about?
To the department stores, or the Internet mail order companies, it's the spirit of MATERIALISM.
The spirit of XMAS simply means feeling good enough or guilty enough to go out and spend lots of money buying stuff which people don't need.

Surely there must be the something more to the spirit of Christmas than that?? Almost nowhere can you see anything to do with the real reason for the season- Jesus Christ.

Our society has almost totally secularized and materialized what was once a Christian festival. Many people in our city are happy with a Christless Christmas. or atleast a Christmas without the Christ of the bible. The Christ whose birth we read about in Matthew and Luke.
But Materialism- a life without God-can't satisfy you in the end.
It doesn't give you any hope for the future. It can't answer the big questions we all ask, like where have I come from, why am I here, and where am I going? it can't give us any valid reason for morality.
If I'm just a bunch of atoms stuck together by random evolutionary processes, if when I die that's the end, just nothing, then there is no right or wrong, nor anything to live for. IF that's true, then you may as well all go home now. There is nothing to celebrate and no hope of eternal life.
But, if the biblical picture of reality is true, Life is meaningful and hope,joy,love and peace can all be yours in Jesus Christ. And if you believe the miracle that the whole universe was created by a personal, holy, just and loving God, then the virgin birth of christ as Emanuel-
God with us-is not unreasonable to believe in.

~ Christmas is about true spirituality. it is not just a children's story or a nice myth covering a merely natural birth. Don't be intimidated by the materialism of the consumerist society around us.
We are not living in a material world. Angels are real, the virgin birth happened just like the bible says, and Jesus really is the son of God, God come to earth in human form.
Nothing less is sufficient for our Salvation......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Duchess~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Though I have fallen, I will rise.
though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light
...He will bring me out into the light; I will see his
righteousness........... Micah 7:8-9

Heather, I am sorry you have to deal with the memory of loosing mom in addition to all else. What a hard thing to deal with, especially now.

Someone said it is all worth it - for the kids. (bitterness alarm here!) BS! Of course they are delighted and thrilled! You have just injected them with one of the most potent and toxic drugs - MATERIALISM. They would probably have similar joy from a tablet of ecstasy or a puff of crack cocaine. What have you taught them, these innocent babes? That THINGS and SPENDING and AQUISITION bring a rush of raw pleasure. Just like any other source of artificial joy, it is addictive, it does not last, it diminishes with repitition, and ultimately fails to satisfy. Then what? You recreate it in your children and try to live it vicariously. At least with chemical drugs most parents don't turn their kids on. But we sure don't hesitate to push them into our world of endless consumer lust.

back to the shadows...

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

>>You have just injected them with one of the most potent and toxic drugs - MATERIALISM.

Not just the gifts, but a long lead-in period of anticipation and excitement, with little or no sleep the night before, and then fill them with a sugar rush or candy and commotion and too much stimulation for any sentient being, with too many gifts to appreciate any one of them and all the lights and decorations and then all the noise noise noise noise! (When, exactly, did I become the grinch?)

A chemical stimulant would probably actually calm them down under the circumstances.

<hr>

The world is what we make of it

WOW!! Reading through your "rant" as well as Dexter's, Kvinn, I realize I haven't been missing much by not having had much money for the past few years. Thanks for reminding me that I gave up the MATERIALISM years and years ago. I don't remember exactly what year it was... probably after my anxiety reared it's ugly head and I couldn't go into any kind of store, that I withdrew from that scene. I had also experienced some ugly greed showing itself in some of my kid's friends and I didn't want my kids to get that way.

One Christmas, my husband and I decided it was time for a change so instead of wasting money on trinkets, we decided that everyone would make up a "coupon book" with favors and help that we were willing to contribute to another family member. They had to be personal help or favors... nothing in general; my oldest son, who was very good in math would give my daughter an hour's worth of tutoring a week at her request, my daughter would give me an hour's extra help with baby-sitting or house cleaning at my request, I would give her an hour's worth of time doing something she wanted to do, etc. Of course, they would all have ONE present under the tree, but before anyone opened a gift, we prayed. We gave thanks for the greatest gift of all, the person of Jesus, His birth, His life as our example for living, His sacrifice and the presence of His Spirit in our home. After all... He IS the reason for the season.

As far as I know, my kids haven't kept that tradition alive. My oldest son being the wealthiest, is the worst. His boys have so much that I am always at a loss at to what to get them for special occasions. So... I draw back and punt. I make up a coupon book for them. Maybe now that the oldest boy is 10, he'll start thinking of cashing in those coupons. I hope so, anyway.

For a change, I'll have money this Christmas, but I've decided that I'm going to stop worrying about what to get everybody and keep with tradition; the coupon books.

Yep! As a Christian, I rebelled against the Satanic aspect of Halloween waaaaaaay back when! My kids would dress up, but it never had anything to do with the dark side. My husband and I also rebelled against all the materialism of Xmas. We didn't exchange "Christ" for an "X".

Thanks again for reminding me of what I've been missing. Thank God!!




"For unto us a Son is given..."

>>instead of wasting money on trinkets, we decided that everyone would make up a "coupon book" with favors and help that we were willing to contribute to another family member.

That is such an awesome idea. And fine (IMO) to still give a gift under the tree, but this keeps it from getting "out of hand". Sorry that the tradition is not being upheld but to each his own, this was still a very positive influence and I'm sure had meaning even if they don't follow the same "tradition" today.

>>For a change, I'll have money this Christmas, but I've decided that I'm going to stop worrying about what to get everybody and keep with tradition; the coupon books.

Awesome! It is a great idea whether motivated by finances or by personal morals and values (and a desire to keep one's sanity).

Everyone can celebrate the holiday however they personally prefer but the worst part is doing things you don't want to do, or things you are morally against, just to "go with the flow" of other people's expectations. Then it becomes stressful instead of enjoyable. Keep the holiday for yourself and for the ones close to you SeptMorn.

The world is what we make of it

Ya know, I don't like someone telling me what I should believe. My children have great memories of xmas and I don't care about anything else than that. My grandaughter will have a great xmas this year and that gives me more joy than anything else does. Ya'll just come down off your soapboxes and don't try to ruin it for the people who do enjoy it. I can't imagine any more fun than watching katie's face when she opens her presents. And one more thing. What is with this preaching about god all the time. If I want to hear that I go to church. You do your thing and I'll do mine just do me a favor and never reply to me with some bible quote. I've had enough of that crap for one lifetime.

Hay Heather,
Sorry to hear about your mother,grieving is so difficult expecially around the holidays. I find myself very depressed expecially when it snows.also wanted to say Happy soon coming birthday to ya!!!!! that's so cute you thought you were the baby Jesus. It was the day u was Birfthda...hee,hee. hope your doing well over all.

Though I have fallen, I will rise.
though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light
...He will bring me out into the light; I will see his
righteousness........... Micah 7:8-9

First of all I was responding to Kvin not you. It's nice that your children are going to have LOTS of presants. big trees and alot of eggnog for yourself. nobodys on a soapboxe here BUD!!! you'll know when I'm telling you something "Yokus" like NOW!!!
my bible quote and believing in God is probably the only thing that keeps me from doing stuipid s*it. ,maybe if you were hear a month ago to know me a little better. you should really get to know someone before you judge them. TALK about bringing someone down. I'v had enough of people, such as yourself. I don't preach Ahole that's what I believe in & no one will TAKE THAT FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Though I have fallen, I will rise.
though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light
...He will bring me out into the light; I will see his
righteousness........... Micah 7:8-9

HAHAHA Mr. Grinch, I don't see anything wrong with what you describe except for too many gifts! You're right. I know for certain that two of my grandsons get waaaay too much! It's just like you said, so many gifts they can't appreciate any one gift. I don't think that's a good foundation for their adult years. But then... I'm not their mother. Not my worry or my place to say anything, I suppose. The only thing I can do is not play that game. I won't try to outdo what everyone else gives them... including my EX! That's another sorry state of affairs. He always gave my kids cheap immitations that fell apart right away. Oh me... Enough of that! LOL



"For unto us a Son is given..."

Dexter, I don't have any answers for you but I know exactly what you're talking about. Throughout the years, I've become very cynical about "giving" to friends... and family, too, for that matter. It seems the more you give the more they expect. Look out if one time you don't have anything to give!! Maybe the secret lies in our own expectations. I know that I have expected help from my family and found none. It came from places I never thought I'd be getting it. I have one friend that is more family to me that most of my own blood. She's bailed me out of difficult situations more times than I can count, while my family stood back and watched. I don't know...

Of course, now that I'm getting my retro check from Disability, I'm beginning to see outstretched hands... Like my daughter in law wanting me to buy a pony for my 4 yr old granddaughter!

Like I said, I just don't know...



"For unto us a Son is given..."

Duchess, I understand where you're coming from completely. I don't feel that you were preaching, much less expressing ideas that hadn't already been expressed in previous posts. However, let's keep our Christianity uppermost in our minds. Let's keep Christ's example as our focus, ok? I don't remember Him ever calling anyone any names. In fact, there's a warning in the Bible about calling someone a "fool." It goes for any other names as well.

Also, you might do well to remember "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." Sam is right. Politics and religion are subjects that get people riled up. You and I have a prefect right to believe as we do, but we don't know the experiences of others so why don't we just lay low as far as our beliefs go, ok?

Peace, Sister.

"For unto us a Son is given..."

My my duchess. I didn't think christians were supposed to call names. Oh, and I've also been here a few months and if you knew anything about me you would know that I'm not a "Bud". You were not just replying to one person you were preaching your beliefs, shoving them down other people's throats whether or not they want to hear it. And putting down any people who still DO believe in having xmas.

My kids won't be getting much this year but my grandaughter sure will. Does that mean I am materialistic? No. Does that mean I have no morals? No Does that mean she will grow up not knowing the meaning of xmas? No What it does mean is that I get a lot of joy from giving to someone who means so much to me. And by the way I hate eggnog. And yeah we went to the tree farm and cut a Really big tree.

If you felt so secure in who you are, maybe you wouldn't feel such a need to preach to everyone else. Go back and read your post and tell me exactly WHO it was intended for. If we had a pulplit here you would have been on it.

Call me a heathen, or the other word you chose. I've been around a lot longer than you and I know preaching when I hear it. So, I will say once again, if you want to reply to me leave off the bible quotes cause from here on in you will get no response if one is there.

As far as your negativity and namecalling goes, why don't you practice what you preach. Just one more thing, I found it quite amusing knocking you off your pedestal. Get a life. Yokus-49/f/Mo

Okay, both of you -- please cut it out.

It's neither healthy nor helpful to continue this conversation. There is obviously a difference of opinion. Just let it go at that. It doesn't help anyone to tell each other off or try to convince anyone that you're right or the other person is wrong.

All right? Please, just let it go.

We are ALL going to be a-ok!

(((((((((((((SEPT,)))))))))))))))) you are 100% right and I realize that now. so I have changed my so called " Preaching quote. I will keep it to myself. I know about the warnings. some people just tick that botton & I lose it. But, I appoligize to all if I have offended you in anyways with my Quotes. ohh also for my faul language. I was just mad. you did put a smile on my face with the Peace sister..LOL

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth & love have always won. there have been tyrants & murderers, and for a time they can be invincible, but in the end they always fall.
think of it... always.
Mohandas Gandhi...

Is there a place in the Bible that says you should talk that way to others? Do you follow your Bible?
Let's face it everyone, topics that involve religion and politics always have lead to wars in history, why start one here?
Let's have some peace and respect to one another.
Also I speak to all here that are having problems getting along or do not like this place to perhaps leave and go where you can find happiness forever.
Thanks for dropping by

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

Why don't you tell the Sermon who wrote that how wrong it is.
Don't get your G's in a Twist I knew you were a ******... sound more like a bud to me. and I wasn't preaching to anyone. best of all you did not throw me off my Pedestal. HON! why don't you go back and reread. maybe you didn't understand it seeing how IGNORANT you truely are.
http://www.ozemail.com your not worth my time......

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth & love have always won. there have been tyrants & murderers, and for a time they can be invincible, but in the end they always fall.
think of it... always.
Mohandas Gandhi...

OK .... everyone has aired their views. I really think it is time to put this thread to rest.

Let it go everyone ... please!!!!!

Fuzzy