i am a loser. this is a stupid thread that only a loser would make.

No surprises then that i wrote it.

Oh well, i have to get back to bein g aloser. Bye all.

[Miss Laura]

Hey there Illegal Toilet,

You are not a loser.... You are being really hard on yourself.

How are you feeling other than feeling like a loser?

These self destructive thoughts are just thoughts they are not the truth

[wrightke83]

you're NOT a loser. I have major depression and most of my friends have found it too hard to deal with or just couldn't understand why my behavior was the way it is sometimes and moved on. As i get older, my depression has made social situations more and more difficult and it makes me feel like i'm just not a likeable person. its really tough and i relate to your feelings of inadequacy. just remember that you're not alone and you're NOT a loser. you are worthy of love and respect and i think its common to feel un-entitled to those things when you're a victim of mental illnes. hang in there!

[Trippin2.0]

You are SO N0T the biggest loser ever. I'm pretty sure my x won that award hands down years ago, and to this day he defends his title you are funny, engaging, intelligent, and interesting. You are worthy, of all the good life has to offer. I know you don't feel or think like that when you're depressed, but thoughts aren't always correct, feelings are ever changing, but TRUTH, is fact and steadfast. Your worthiness is TRUTH.

[shezbut]

(((Illegal Toilet)))

You are NOT a loser. You are a loveable, kind human being.

I agree with the others who posted back to you ~ many of us can relate to being convinced by our negativity that we're just evil slimeballs that don't deserve love or life. That is our mental illness kicking into overdrive there. Coming up with all sorts of dark thoughts, wishes and fantasies. But they are not real!

Please do reach out for help in therapy. You may need some meds to help you re-gain more control over the dark thoughts that pop up sometimes. Just because you share these thoughts, doesn't mean that you're going to be locked up either. They really don't want to lock people up nowadays, and will only do so when they pose a serious risk to themselves or others. So, you have nothing to fear. Please do get some help.

Best wishes!

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

i am a loser. this is a stupid thread that only a loser would make.

No surprises then that i wrote it.

Oh well, i have to get back to bein g aloser. Bye all.

I actually feel very similarly, people tell me I'm not one but I can't seem to be convinced of it. This probably does not help that much but maybe knowing you're not totally alone in feeling like that will help some.

You can transform how you feel by changing the way you think and talk about yourself... Switching your words this way can help you to see the positives about yourself and your life.

Loathsome Label
I’m a loser.

Alternative Healthy Self-statement
I’m a normal person who can both win and lose.

This thread immediately reminded me of this part of a book my old psychiatrist insisted I buy (I did). Source

[brackenbeard]

Hey man I know the feeling, and I know other people who share it as well. Do you really think it's a fair assesment of where you're at, or are you just saying that? If you really believe it maybe you feel like there's no way out. It sucks. Ummm... I guess you might wanna start with making sure you're up at a good hour, and it always feels good when you dress stylishly/nicely... do your hair up, or get a new haircut or somethin haha i'm just riffing here. But honestly little things help like that.

I think maybe a few small changes in your life can do a world of difference.

What is it that's buggin you exactly? Let us know, maybe we can offer some advice.

Thanks for responding everyone, to be honest I wrote this at 1am last night and i was so depressed, i was almost drunk.

Some good insight nonetheless. i'm still depressed, but not as much as I was in the early hours of this morning.

brackenbeard, you're right about getting up at a decent hour and being well dressed, etc. Those would probably help me quite a lot.

I'm depressed for so many reasons. One is not knowing what to do with myself. Another is having no friends. I think I'm lonely. And also because i'm not really changing from a child into a grown up, even at the age of 33. I live with my parents, and now I have no car (long story), and so forth. I feel like everyone my age, or even younger than me, is a lot more mature than I am. I would never be able to hold down a job where I have to communicate with people. Everyone seems so smooth at dealing with other people, and again this is where their maturity comes in, compared to my immaturity and shyness.

This and more. I could go on.

[Jan1212]

Comparing to other people may cause more harm, that is just going to let you down. There will always be people that have more of this or that, or people who have less of this or that. Anyone.

How are you not changing from a child to a grown up? It is not an overnight process take things day by day at your own pace- don't believe you "should be at this point by now" either work with what you have or choose to linger in your negativeness. You learn things about yourself every single day and believe you have potential to be the greatest that you can be even though you may think "no way!". Things will suck along the way, cry , punch something, write on this board get past it and in the end all the little things and the good little thoughts will be worth it and you will look back and say to yourself "why the heck did I even worry so much?"

[brackenbeard]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Thanks for responding everyone, to be honest I wrote this at 1am last night and i was so depressed, i was almost drunk.

Some good insight nonetheless. i'm still depressed, but not as much as I was in the early hours of this morning.

brackenbeard, you're right about getting up at a decent hour and being well dressed, etc. Those would probably help me quite a lot.

I'm depressed for so many reasons. One is not knowing what to do with myself. Another is having no friends. I think I'm lonely. And also because i'm not really changing from a child into a grown up, even at the age of 33. I live with my parents, and now I have no car (long story), and so forth. I feel like everyone my age, or even younger than me, is a lot more mature than I am. I would never be able to hold down a job where I have to communicate with people. Everyone seems so smooth at dealing with other people, and again this is where their maturity comes in, compared to my immaturity and shyness.

This and more. I could go on.

I think you can't help but compare yourself to others at times. Just don't take it too seriously. I've been in the same shoes as you, still am, trying to figure how to grow up and be a man. It's tough but for me it started with getting sober. Now I'm searching for new ways to fill my time. Just do the things that make you feel warm and good about yourself. I bet you just need to start filling your time with stuff you enjoy. Try to grow musically, artistically, or however you want. Devote your time to things, and cultivate your understanding of them, or your ability to do them. I think growth comes with doing the boring things sometimes. my AA sponsor would say, don't do want you want to do, do the things you don't want to. do you have your finances in order, and your medical business in order, that's a place to start.

[honeybee777]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Thanks for responding everyone, to be honest I wrote this at 1am last night and i was so depressed, i was almost drunk.

Some good insight nonetheless. i'm still depressed, but not as much as I was in the early hours of this morning.

brackenbeard, you're right about getting up at a decent hour and being well dressed, etc. Those would probably help me quite a lot.

I'm depressed for so many reasons. One is not knowing what to do with myself. Another is having no friends. I think I'm lonely. And also because i'm not really changing from a child into a grown up, even at the age of 33. I live with my parents, and now I have no car (long story), and so forth. I feel like everyone my age, or even younger than me, is a lot more mature than I am. I would never be able to hold down a job where I have to communicate with people. Everyone seems so smooth at dealing with other people, and again this is where their maturity comes in, compared to my immaturity and shyness.

This and more. I could go on.

A looser? I think NOT! Actually even better I know you are not! You are one of the most awesome people Ive met here on PC, and Im quite sure your just having a rough patch, I'm 35 and at 33, i had a rough patch myself, you have a social phobia, of coruse your goign to have a problem speaking to people, jobs and such, but cheer up, Ive talked with you many times on chat, your highly intelligent, charming, and cute, so you have no rhyme or reason to have so much fear dear, get some couceling, then move on from there baby step, and most 33 years old are not mature yet, silly they just got out of their 20'd lol......you will be fine smile honey!!!