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#51
Jun 23, 2012, 10:54 AM
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I love this thread. Read straight through it. Hope you are not afraid anymore Rose and get some sleep. I also hope everyone finds some peace. I am feeling just awful. Have no one to talk to, and just BLAH. Sister took all the ice in the house and went to the beach, and since we have no ice maker I feel betrayed since its so hot and she left me with nothing. An online friend ignored me when I really needed to talk. So low, so low I feel
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Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Journey of Grace, Grit and Starting Again |
 Jakub, pandarama123456789, Shadow-world
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 Jakub
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#52
Jun 23, 2012, 01:31 PM
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Feeling really "flat" today. Another night of not enough sleep and woke with a bad headache which has not responded to pain meds. Need to force myself to get some stuff done, but no motivation. Darn.
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| Jakub, pandarama123456789
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| Jakub
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#53
Jun 23, 2012, 01:46 PM
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My anxiety has eased. (Thank you, Platinum Heart.) I have felt home-bound by my mental state and the heat. I have a very rapid heartbeat. Doctors just seem to shrug when I tell them about it. Some say it is from anxiety. Some say it is from not being physically fit. But I first noticed it when I was about 26 years old. And, at that time, I was very active and in good shape. So they really don't know.
If slower heart rates go along with being able to tolerate more exertion, then I think faster heart rates go along with being less able to tolerate exertion, especially in the heat. I just know I get a feeling of exhaustion when it is in the 90's. So I have not left the house in days. I have not much to eat in the house. I have not gone out the door even to go outside and check the mail. I know a lot of that is depression. And I know that I am lazy. |
| Jakub, pandarama123456789
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| Jakub
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#54
Jun 23, 2012, 05:51 PM
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My back pain is really starting to get to me. I got one or two things done today but tonight I am just exhausted. It takes all my energy just to get up in the morning( physically & mentally) I don't want depression dragging me down right now so I am trying to fight it.
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt BP2 Lithium, lamictal, topomax, seroquel |
| bumpy_road, f.reliant, Jakub, pandarama123456789, Rose76
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| Jakub
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#55
Jun 23, 2012, 11:20 PM
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Trying to relax and calm down by making dream catchers, but I have this aching in my chest that wont let me settle. I've had a crappy day, slept through half of it and I'm still feeling tired. And I cut my hair today and no one in my house has said anything about it
I don't know why that bugs me so much, it's silly.. I don't want to do anything but go to sleep, I feel more alive in my dreams than in my real life anyway
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| bumpy_road, Jakub, Rose76, Shadow-world
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| Jakub
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#56
Jun 24, 2012, 10:32 AM
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Got up, had sad thoughts in my mind...went to the gym and tried to distract myself from the misery that is my life for about an hour...got home, and the tears have not stopped. Depression, in all of its many different presentations, always finds a new way to bring you down to an even lower point than you were just a little while ago. Sure wish I could get back to being my old self again...
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| bumpy_road, f.reliant, Jakub, pandarama123456789, Shadow-world
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| Jakub
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#57
Jun 24, 2012, 11:30 AM
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Even tho I'm on an A/D, I still get to feeling "low" but it's not as bad as if I wasn't on one. It's just that at times I feel like a slug. No emotions, nothing. I can't even cry. I think I may need an increase in the dosage. But I'm already on 120mg per day of Cymbalta! I've always been very hard to medicate tho -- even with pain meds, so guess I'll talk to the doc on Monday & see what he says.
 I pray everyone begins feeling better - depression is an awful disease! God bless! |
| bumpy_road, Jakub, pandarama123456789, Shadow-world
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| f.reliant, Jakub, regretful
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#58
Jun 24, 2012, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
On the other hand, if you are a real mess and feel you can't cope at all even with learned coping strategies then you probably need to increase the dosage. Getting antidepressant dosage right can be tricky, I agree. I hope your GP / doctor will suggest something helpful. Be well, Lee!  
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As long as we dream, we are still alive. |
| Jakub
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| Jakub
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#59
Jun 24, 2012, 03:03 PM
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Woke up with an emotionless face, I don't know what to do with myself anymore...
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| f.reliant, Jakub, pandarama123456789
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| Jakub
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#60
Jun 24, 2012, 05:33 PM
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Meh. Feeling kinda flat today.
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| f.reliant, Jakub, pandarama123456789
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| Jakub
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#61
Jun 24, 2012, 08:34 PM
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Not a great day but not a bad day either. Managed to get out and hand water the lawn (watering restrictions) despite the persistent triple digit heat.
This heat wears on one in the worst possible way. Need some real rain and soon. I think that no matter what my disposition, next time it rains I am goning to go outside and stand in the rain! Just thinking about it makes me feel better. Tomorrow's another day..and a Monday at that. Blah! Maybe the day will surprise me. |
| Jakub, pandarama123456789
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| Jakub
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#62
Jun 25, 2012, 05:51 AM
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Kind of a rough night's sleeping. Not sure what kind of day today is going to be.
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| Jakub, pandarama123456789, turquoise4
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| Jakub
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#64
Jun 25, 2012, 11:43 AM
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I didn't get the job I went to the interview for on Friday. I tried not to get my hopes up too much to start with but I am still disappointed. I suppose it's a matter of applying for another one or two I have seen but where I have even fewer chances of getting them.
I wonder whether it's partly because I forgot to bring any documentation with me - I'm so scatterbrained sometimes. On the plus side, I don't have to move again in the next few weeks and can stay put and keep seeing my friends and acquaintances. This last week and today the situation with my line manager wasn't quite so bad. If we can keep it that way, it's not quite so urgent although I would still like to make a move in the not too distant future.
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As long as we dream, we are still alive. Last edited by Shadow-world; Jun 25, 2012 at 02:39 PM. |
| Jakub, misscath007, pandarama123456789, turquoise4
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| Jakub
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#65
Jun 25, 2012, 12:13 PM
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Feeling useless and worthless. Still can't get in to see an individual therapist so I called my psychitrist AGAIN. I am so scared that I will have to be admitted again or have to have ECT again. I just need someone to talk to.
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| Jakub, pandarama123456789, Shadow-world, turquoise4
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| Jakub
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#66
Jun 25, 2012, 05:13 PM
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Mom went back to Alaska today until July so back to being lazy and useless as well.
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| Jakub, turquoise4
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| Jakub
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#67
Jun 25, 2012, 05:18 PM
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Humid and gross.
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| Jakub
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| Jakub
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#68
Jun 25, 2012, 05:26 PM
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I am still in pain but managed to get some phone calls made & got out for shopping so it was not a total loss. Tomorrow I need to work on finding a doc for a second opinion about whether to have back surgery.
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt BP2 Lithium, lamictal, topomax, seroquel |
| Jakub, turquoise4
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| Jakub
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#69
Jun 26, 2012, 09:07 AM
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Quote:
What was it that helped you with group? I have been going to group now for 3 months and feel that it is not helping. We have a few who dominate the conversation and I am having a tough time talking about my problems. If you have any ideas, I would appreciate it. |
| Jakub
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| Jakub
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#70
Jun 26, 2012, 04:36 PM
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Same as yesterday, nothing good to look for.
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| Jakub, vin_rouge
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| Jakub
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#72
Jun 26, 2012, 05:57 PM
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I feel horrible and my ex is making me feel worse when he calls me passive aggressive and tells me all the things I allegedly am guilty of saying too much.
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As long as we dream, we are still alive. |
| FacingChains, Jakub, pandarama123456789, Rose76
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| Jakub
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#73
Jun 26, 2012, 06:30 PM
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I'm about the same as I've been the past few weeks, I guess...Still no word from my old high school "friends" about hanging out or anything, but I'm still coping with that fairly well, all things considered.
I did get a call from the temp agency I'm a part of. They may have some work for me that sounded like it would be something not too bad. I'm not sure I'll actually get it, but fingers crossed I guess... I'm thinking about going down to one of the local parks for a walk tomorrow. It's only supposed to be in the lower 80's, and it might be a nice way to help clear my mind. |
| FacingChains, Jakub, pandarama123456789
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| Jakub
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#75
Jun 27, 2012, 07:42 AM
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Miserable...wish I could say that it is getting better, but the stress of my occupation, which I cannot quit but want to, is getting to me. Ran into an old friend last night; she's a business owner too, and coincidentally, she was picking up an Rx for anti-depressant meds.
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| FacingChains, Jakub, pandarama123456789
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| Jakub
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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