[confused43]

For the past severeal months i have been feeling like crap. i have had thoughts of si and i hate life. i want so much fo it to end. I am so afraid though that i kill my self that my friend will flip. i dont know what to do.... i hate the thoughts and when i tell people about them they dont believe me. even though i have had 2 attempts in the past 3 months.i went to a therapist for it and they put me on a bunch of meds that buged me out so i freaked and stopped going. plus i couldn't even drive to go there. i just want to give up. my relationship is going to hell i dont even know if iwant a realtionship with him even though i care about him. plus i am starting school in the fall at a new college because i had problems with the old one. if i move i might end up in therapy because the theapist out here suck big time. I just want everything to end ...GOD please help.

Don't feel bad if you don't get many replys to this post. alot of people on line have a hard time when it comes to active suicidal phase type posts. Basically now it the time that you need your treatment professionals locally. on line all we can do is say we have been there and it does get better and how we handle the situations. But that active suicidal phases need the help of therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, family physicians, ER and possible inpatient care. please contact your treatemtn professional so that you will feel better.

How I handle it when I get like this - writing, artwork, relaxation techniques, call my therapist, call my family physician,

Take care.

[VAQUERALOCA]

I relate to everything you are saying. You are not alone in the way you feel. Many people are feeling the exact same way and I am one of them too. I know how much it hurts to go through every minute in emotional pain. I know how frightening it is to feel so bad and to be so afraid of living and also afraid of dying. The only thing I can say is that you can talk about it here..... It is said that talking about your feelings helps. It is said that it will get better if you can just hold out another day......... another hour, another 15 minutes..........We only have one life that we KNOW about and so some say we might as well LIVE and experience whatever we experience because the alternative is nothingness.......That is a hard concept to wrap your brain around and it is a hard concept for me to wrap my brain around BUT it DOES seem like the only RATIONAL idea I have heard so far. That we are only here for a short time and whatever we experience we might as well go through it and feel it and live it and hopefully come THROUGH it to a better place and then we can hopefully HELP someone else deal with the same problem........ I know how you feel and I know you are afraid. I really know and feel what you are feeling..........I feel it too.

[therealme]

confused43 im not one for long replys so here goes.
i too REALLY know how you are feeling as i feel lIke this nearly every day, i have had to fight to get this far .
YOU CAN DO IT, the people here on this site have helped me fight my feelings of si. (like you i have tried twice )
meds do help and talking to people can help

my best advice is .... HANG IN THERE, IT WILL GET BETTER ......