Kind-of low-selfestem

<font color="blue"> Ok, I’m just some kid and I think I’m depressed or more so just have low self-esteem. I have low self-esteem for one reason because I’m ugly, but I just kind of accepted that and looks don’t last that long anyway. What really bugs me is how much of an idiot I am. I can’t do anything right, the only good grades I get are from participation points and luck on test, and I think this kind of affects me but when I was younger (only bout 3rd grade or so) I was tested for mental retardation and was put in special Ed and was already in speech (I also have a bad speech problem and that really bugs me and I don’t talk much because of that) but I’m in regular classes now. And I read some other sites that say to recover from depression stop saying you hate yourself and stuff but I mean how can you just do that? And I took an IQ test and even that said I had mild retarded, and I try and be more smart, I also read on how to improve your IQ and it says to read books and I do read books, and there not even Dr. Suess. So question, how do I improve my self-esteem to make me feel more intelligent? And I do think about suicide a lot but I’m probably never gonna do it. Thank you. </font>

Welcome to PC dog! I find your post quite easy to read, and well put, inspite of your efforts to put yourself down ( and a few missed punctuation marks )

I doubt anyone here would have suspected any educational problems with you from your post if you hadn't said something.

Breaking bad habits of putting ourself down is not an easy task, but it is doable! There's a thread "sticky" posted at the top of the Psychotherapy Forum (means it stays at the top to find it easily.)

It's 10 common cognitive distortions...the ones that are the most common... things we most often think wrongly that make us feel worse about ourselves.

I hope you like PC, I think you will! Again, welcome!

Hey there - I can't even write your name, because it's too degrading. A good start is to change your screen name here to "SmartCookie" or something like that instead. I have to say that you write really well and if you hadn't told us about the IQ test stuff, I never would have guessed from reading your post. A lot of this sounds to me like depression is invading your thoughts.

Do you have a therapist or counselor? Can you get one?

I'm sorry you feel that way about yourself. Your self esteem is probably because you have been treated badly and/or because of genetics. I have been struggling with self esteem issues all my life. I know it's hard You don't seem dumb to me You were able to communicate your thoughts here just fine Besides, IQ tests are designed to measure only one type of intelligence, and they're not even accurate at that!

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LMo said:
Hey there - I can't even write your name, because it's too degrading. A good start is to change your screen name here to "SmartCookie" or something like that instead. I have to say that you write really well and if you hadn't told us about the IQ test stuff, I never would have guessed from reading your post. A lot of this sounds to me like depression is invading your thoughts.

Do you have a therapist or counselor? Can you get one?

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<font color="blue"> Oh lol sorry, I just wanted it to be something with animals I'll change it to something else, and I have been to a psychologist but not for depression for angry problems, and can't have a therapist because my parents don't even know I'm depressed and if I hint or tell them they just think I want attention, tried before, and then if I go to the school consular and tell em they’ll tell my parents and then my parents will be mad at me for not telling them or get mad for lying to the consular. And wrote well because I do everything in Microsoft Word because I’m really bad at spelling. And so far like the site people already replied to posts. </font>

I think your smarter than you are letting on!

I have'nt even learnt how to use the 'quote' box yet!

ps. sounds like you are more worried about what your parents think than helping yourself. Why would you lie to a counsellor?