be kind!

Just a urging for all those in the forum. to be generous with your patience.. be kind to others.. Give grace b/c it may need to be given to you. This is a forum for support.. so don't give further rejection and stress about doing it all right. ... Just my thoughts..

good post. thanks for that. i think i've been a little irritable today... sorry for those i might have posted a little irratibly too (if you feel indignant in response then thats probably cause i was a little irratible)

sorry about that.

better days and worse days...

but yeah i think we should be kind to each other.

to many people judging and %#@&#! (IRL) and nice to have a place to come to get away from that

What if *I* am in need of patience and understanding? When is it MY turn to receive some of it? I practice it often enough, but there are times when it really gets tried and would be welcomed in return!!

aw. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((septembermorn))))))))))))))))))))))))
i'm sorry you don't feel that people are being patient with you and understanding of you. :-( i hate it when i feel like that :-( yeah i try and do that for others too... but yeah i need it sometimes myself :-(

i hope your day picks up...

:-)

my patience for your is limitless.

I agree Estersvirtue I was very sad and am hanging back being quiet because of some things I saw today


Good post

Agree esther, PC has been somewhat... un-pc recenly. Very sad.

IMO the site is a bit un-PC of late... maybe change is hard for all of us?

I understand Sept. it is nice to have others accord us patience as well when we are trying to work out something ourselves.

I also think it's good for everyone reading to know we're ok, too!

I don't feel okay. I feel like singing the Dixie Chick song "Not Ready To Make Nice Yet"!!

It's really sad to see how PC has changed recently. I keep telling myself I'm not going to log on, but I always find myself back here again... wondering what I'm doing here.

{{{{{{{{{{{{Tomi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

you can share my umbrella

Thank you, Sweety!! Schootchy over a bit. LOL

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Karen}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

hey. um... are you pissed with me?

just checking...

good post EV..... kinda reminds me of a post I made a while back about judging..... it was all in my mind? Yeah right

I'm right there with you Tomi.

It feels to me that those of us who come across a little harder and tougher and further in our healing don't get any slack. When we fly off the handle after everything gets to be too much, then we get to read about how our actions hurt another. Don't people understand that continuing to talk about how mean and horrible someone was only makes that "mean, horrible" person feel worse and even MORE ready to lash out?

The thing for me is that it takes a lot for me these days to finally get to the lashing out point. Usually I'm behind the scenes working out my frustrations with a close friend. When the amount of "I've been hurt"s on the board gets to be too much THAT'S when I finally snap.

I've told myself this last week that I'm not coming back here either, but after 16 months it's become a habit that's not easy to break, even though I end up feeling worse more often than not after reading up.

When my online interactions negatively impact my interactions with real people, or even go so far as to PREVENT me from wanting to meet real people, that's a sign that this place isn't healthy. I think you can develop unhealthy communications techniques in a place like this way more than you can develop healthy ones.

i understand about how hurts can build up... and about how hurt feelings can build up...

i think that generally those hurts can be prevented from becoming major upsets by...

people expressing how they feel a little earlier.
there is a difference between saying how you feel...
and saying stuff about what other people are up to what other people are doing.

i'm not so very good at that :-(
but it is a great skill IRL.
great conflict resolution skill.
great way to prevent things getting to the point of conflict
but it is hard yeah.

i'm sorry people feel like they are being given a hard time.
sorry when anyone feels like that.

i think if you express your feelings as your feelings...
then others can attend to your feelings
others are more likely to attend to your feelings
but it can be hard to express feelings as feelings...

don't even know what i'm feeling most of the time.

IMO the site is a bit un-PC of late... maybe change is hard for all of us?

Good point, Sky.

I just went back and read the "Doc's Private Support Forum" thread and realized that's when things changed for me.

Just speaking for my own feelings, of course.

I had just put the whole *S* fiasco behind me when the hidden forum was offered and the hurt feelings rose up again.

You're right. Change is hard.

Agree..everyone brings something to the table...ppl can read a post and take it different ways..because of..their feelings..concerning the situation..

I think PC is a wonderful site..and value everyone one who posts and offers support and guidance here..even when they are suffering so themselves...

I agree, some people may be hurt by little words. It's the decent thing to do because that's what PC is all about....support, respect, honesty, and friendship...true friendship. I don't want one single person here to feel hurt. I especially don't want them to feel as though they can not return.

Thanks esthersvirtue.

Des

A number of people have talked about being pushed to the limit and being tempted to leave PC. I can TOTALLY relate at times. It reminds me of how parents who get very angry at their childrens bad behavior often need to take some time out before lashing out. Sometimes short breaks away can be beneficial in dealing with frustrations and allow you to have more perspective when you return. Ultimately we are all responsible for our emotions or at least that is what my therapist tells me. So taking a short break may actually be a healthy way to deal with things. Just a thought though.

((( ev )))

You are a wise flower-fairy.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
esthersvirtue said:
So taking a short break may actually be a healthy way to deal with things.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I have done this so I totally agree. Nonetheless ... this is a home "from home" for me and these threads always make me feel so sad and insecure .... not to mention wary...

I can't possibly catch up or know what is going on here so this is a reply to everyone feeling unsafe. Please know that I hold each of you in my heart in a loving place of goodwill and hope. I send out peaceful energy as much as I can and I know that we can be mean to eachother sometimes. I honestly don't understand it but I know it happens. I wish for each of us to share peace in our hearts and souls if only possible for a few moments.