Feeling very depressed

Today is not a very good day for me, but then again the last few weeks have been pretty bad.
I am finally going to see my doctor, maybe she can change something that will help me feel better. Plus I get to see my therapist so I will have someone to talk with.
My family doesn't how bad things have been the last few weeks and they will probably not know. See, they don't understand what is going on with me, they have accepted that I have depression but they don't understand anything. So, I can not talk with them and I don't have any friends to talk with either. The time I have with my therapist, doctor and primary doctor are the only times I can talk to someone. Which means I tend to bottle everything up, which makes things worse.
I hope my visits today will help me atleast alittle.

I do hope that you find some comfort here on these forums. The last few weeks have been pretty bad for me too. I went to an appointment with a psychologist this morning, and though it is a small step in the right direction, it felt pretty good to talk with someone.

As for family not understanding, I think sometimes that they never will, even if they have suffered with depression themselves. My wife has been anxious and depressed for many years; she takes medication to manage the anxiety and mood swings (sounds bipolar I guess), but now that I'm depressed, she has little tolerance or patience for my inability to be "un-depressed". So, I know what you mean about bottling it all up - I do that very well at times...except when depressed acutely, like now, where I can't hide my distress...

Keep coming back to these forums. There are so many supportive people in the world. I've read some threads that are very useful. I do hope that your visits provide you with some assistance today.

I do wish, like many have said to me, that there was something I could write or say to help all of us feel better...but, depression is an illness and it really hurts...sometimes more than other times...so take the relief where you can get it, and hopefully your family will start to understand it, even if its just a little bit.

Hi. I'm so sorry about all you're going through, and thank you for posting. I think I understand when you mention that your family does not understand your depression. Unfortunately this miserable condition can be so very hard on relationships of all kinds....you are in no way alone on this. I actually do not have any family except an elderly aunt in her 90's, but I know depression has been very difficult to deal with in my friendships. Some people just let me know, in sometimes not-so-subtle ways that they would rather not talk about it, and others may SAY that they accept it, but their actions prove otherwise. And I know....this really hurts. I hope that all of us somehow find some people in the world whose hearts are open enough to not be scared away because we suffer from something that is in no way our fault....and that we in no way deserve. That is my prayer, and I'm sending you lots of warm thoughts and hugs, with the hope that things get better for you as soon as possible.....

I can sure relate. I think family gets so used to our being depressed that they just overlook it and treat it as it's 'normal' and just go on about business as usual.

I wonder if perhaps your family could come to one or two of your sessions to help them understand your depression a little more? Maybe they just don't understand the effects of depression? It might help them understand what you're going thru and perhaps they'd be a little more supportive of you.

I hope your session goes well - please update us. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

My visit with my doctor and therapist yesterday went okay. She put me on another medication that will hopefully work, if not I am to call her back after two weeks. Hopefully it will work because I do not want to feel like this for another two weeks.

I am just miserable and these messages are the only time that I am say just how I feel. I feel like curling up in a ball and escaping the whole thing. This battle is wearing me out and the hard thing is I still have to manage the day. No one in my family knows how bad I am hurting even though I live with them. I try and hide the fact that I am depressed because they think that I should not be depressed, that after the time with my therapist and doctor I should be back to 100%.

No matter how depressed and hurting I am I can't let them know.

Right now I just want to break everything or something. This pain is hard to deal with. I want to put my hand through a door.

Have you considered trying to give your family some information about depression in some subtle ways? During my days as a clinician when I worked with a person whose family was not acknowledging the depression, I would give the patient handouts and have them just leave them around the house for the family to find. Sometimes it worked...

Depression is a horrible illness, and I know what you mean about how much it hurts. I have to manage the day, and manage a rather large small business at the same time. There is little to no time for myself...

I hope that the medication helps as a bit of a remedy...don't give up after two weeks either because some meds takes up to 6 weeks for there to be a therapeutic effect. Meds work. I know from my experience with Lexapro. It was a lifesaver a year ago. Unfortunately, I tried it again and had some intolerable side-effects...Now I'm considering another shot with a different med...

Keep letting us know how you are doing. Many thoughts and prayers are with you.

I have tried to give my family information but they did not take it all that well. When I was in the hospital for the three time, they were also given information since I finally had to move back in with them. They think it is something will just go away.

I'm so sorry to hear that your family is taking the approach that this will just go away...It is so sad the people, particulalry family, can be so resistive to understanding. I'm still hopeful for you, and will write more when I get the chance...