afraid

hi, new to this site, well, i am afraid and confused depressed and no clue what to do. I am in a 14year relationship living with him for 4 years and i came to realize he has no intentions on marring me. what do i do? where do i go if i leave him. there's more to it as well, i guess i knew for awhile now that i been living in an abusive relationship (verbally) .. I just haven't excepted it until this week. So if i do leave do i just leave everything and go , do i start getting rid of my stuff to make it easier. do i take my dogs with me or leave them , they are my life. oh, i have no job or money which make it a bit harder.

Hello and welcome to the forums. Sounds like a rather complicated situation, and it also sounds like you've got some major "sorting out" to do in your life, for which you have a lot of questions. Perhaps you might start by calling your county's Health and Human Services Department /Mental Health Division, and see what counseling services are available for you. Another option would be to call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline, where your call will be routed to trained counselors in your area. They are not there only for people who are actually suicidal, but also for anyone who is struggling with stress, depression, loneliness, etc. Aside from listening, they are often able to guide you to further resources near you. Here is their link ~phone # http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ Sending good thoughts

hang in there subway, everything will be okay

Welcome to PC!
It sounds like you're going through so much right now, and you shouldn't have to go through it alone.
I agree with Wimsy's suggestion about finding counseling. I just moved within the last few months, and finally found a therapist this past week, and already it's making a difference. Just someone totally caring to help you sort things out can mean so much.
You could also call a local domestic violence hotline, they're trained to help you talk through your situation and can point you towards resources.
Also, search in your local area for any kind of free support group. They have them sometimes for women in general, or for those with depression, ETC. This might also help.
If you need help looking, I'm great at this kind of thing so just PM me with your general location and I'll see what I can come up with.

Sometimes local DV shelters will also help you think about what to do next even if it isn't a physical abusive relationship. They may not have shelter space for you, but they may have counseling or resourcing for you to help you make your next move. When leaving an abusive relationship be smart. Think of your safety and think about what, if any, connections you have that can help you (family, friends, churches, social groups, neighbors etc). A first step may be just having a few things in a bag in case you have to up and go. This may be dog food, leashes, medicine, some cash, change of underwear, drivers license, etc. Sometimes it is even helpful to know nearby safe and cheaper hotels/motels so you know there is some place else to go, even for a night.
Look up safety planning for leaving an abusive relationship if you're able.

Welcome to PC! I am so sorry you are going through this... You may be able to find support groups in your area - this might help you be able to talk to others who are dealing with the same thing.

thank you, everyone for your kind words and support, i am 34 and my parents do know what is going on and they have seen how he talks to me and they are not happy about it. and today i spoke to them and told them i am ready to leave. so they are going to lead me money for an apt, and once i move i will need to find a job and finish my schooling , i am a biology major and in my last 2 classes. i just need to break the news to him. again thank you. and i will update on situation.

Good luck. Better days are ahead for you. Seems like you have a plan to find the happiness you deserve!

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Stay strong and true to yourself. You deserve to be adored.