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Old May 20, 2006, 02:58 PM
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walkswithspiritbear walkswithspiritbear is offline
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Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 324
I am sitting here with the radio blasting just to drown out the parade going down the street. I can't get downstairs(24) alone, Hubby is at work (hmmm) personally I think he is probably watching the parade, any how my pity party is going full blast...
I don't drink except the extremely occasional glass of wine and all I can think of is going out and getting so drunk that I crawl up the stairs (maybe with less pain than usual)... It seems like the whole world is laughing and partying and here I am, crying into my coffee and computer... how pathetic is this?
Anyone here care to chat or something.... keep me from doing something stupid...

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  #2  
Old May 20, 2006, 03:15 PM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 67,808
Well, for one thing ... you are not pathetic ... or stupid.

I am so sorry for the fears and loneliness that you are feeling right now.

Crank that radio up as loud as you can .... drown out the parade at all costs. Well - I would do that.

I do drink - so sadly, I can say that I have used getting drunk as a means of coping many times ( and I have not, or rarely do, admit that here ).

My thoughts and love and strength are with you. I am so sorry you feel so lonely and isolated right now.

(((( walkswithspiritbear )))
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  #3  
Old May 20, 2006, 03:24 PM
Lexicon78 Lexicon78 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2004
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I'll join in!

Mother Nature is visiting this week so I'm gonna be so grouchy anyways...
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  #4  
Old May 20, 2006, 03:35 PM
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walkswithspiritbear walkswithspiritbear is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2005
Location: Wisconsin
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Thank you Sabrina for you kind words. I used to self medicate with the alcohol many years ago, not an alcoholic, but I could see how I could be very easily.... It scares me which is why I don't drink.. but I want to so badly. I don't even know if it will be fun, since I would be alone. I know no one here at all and going to a bar is a bit scary now, geez it never use to be...... I wish I knew what I should do for me, I can't take much more of this, I am not living, I merely exist and that is barely.. Thanks for caring enough to answer. hugs right back to you..
  #5  
Old May 20, 2006, 03:37 PM
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walkswithspiritbear walkswithspiritbear is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2005
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 324
Thanks come on over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel so very very alone and I certainly appreciate your offer...
  #6  
Old May 20, 2006, 03:41 PM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 67,808
Hmmm - I guess you have said a couple of things that I can't talk about right now.

I know the feeling of not living and just existing though. It is very painful, and I am so sorry you are going through this right now.

We might never know ... just what it is ... we should do for ourselves ...but I guess that is why we come to places like this ... to try and find understanding and support.

I do care .. please PM if you feel up to it. My thoughts are with you.
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