[Lecrea]

Hello,
I am 18 i have suffering From severe major depression From 9 Months. Since then I Have Been never the same i just want to Reach out To people i dont want to Feel lonely.

Before Two weeks I Went to a Psychiatric and she Diagnosed me with Clinical Depression, and Major Depression which are causing very high anxiety and panic attacks. Since then my Depression has Become Increased I Just felt like a big loser. I really Hate what i have Become :/ I Lost almost all of my friends i failed in school my parents are fed up with me i Became lifeless. The doctor prescribed faverine and lexomanil Both antidepressants But am really scared of pills am scared of them just scared of their side effects.

I have these feelings,symptoms and fears i just want to know if anybody can relate

I always have High Blood pressure and pressure in the head and sometimes low blood Pressure
I feel Hopeless like there's no way out like am stuck in this state of mind forever
I see the world more darker its like everything is dark and creepy
I recently have been losing lots of hair am so freaked out
Probably the Worst symptom is fear of death. I always think about death 24/7 i cant shake these thoughts about death off. I feel like am going to die soon or something bad is going to happen

am just lost and scared

I Never had suicidal thoughts or tried to hurt myself Because i believe in god. But i just want to be happy again

Thanks For reading i really am lost

Reaching out to people is a good way to feel better. There is someone out there who will listen to your hopes and your fears and at the same time there is something about you that gives them peace. In my low points of grieving for my husband who succumbed to cancer, I took the time to listen to my friend who is bipolar, depressed and adhd. I was not alone in pain and anguish and he understood the depth of my pain and I understood the profound need he has for reconnecting with the world. I was lashed out at by others for being part of my friends life. His past indiscretions caused much distrust and ultimately ended his marriage. I realize that most people around him don't get it. They seem to think that he can bounce up and be what they consider normal. Its not fair not one bit. You are normal in your own way just as I am. And your belief in God is the one place you can trust for your happiness to resume..God bless you

[Lecrea]

am Really sorry for your Husband I Hope you cope with it and Be better. am just confused you know like am still young for all this but yea you are correct i should have faith in god till the end and work hard to get myself out of this.

I know how loneliness feels. It helps to come here like you did now so you can see there are many people who are feeling lost and alone. I'm sorry you feel scared. I've had hair loss more than usual it could just be stress. Tell your doctor you are afraid to tske the meds. Keep talking here and read some other posts so you can see your not alone.

[hester91]

Lecrea,

You are not alone. I have been diagnosed with depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety. I Feel lost in your own head. Some days I walk around my house trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do. I truly feel confused. It's very distressing and scary. I dont feel like that today so I know the depression,anxiety... do lift. Although, right now my husband is pissing my of and making me anxious b/b he keeps trying to have a conversation despite the fact that he sees that im typing...UUURRRGGG. But getting back, Give the medication time to kick in, you will feel better. Its a painful process but you will feel better.

Ive been taking Chia seeds, my dr. recommended them, and they seem to be working, slowly but theyre working.
Feel better soon. I'm thinking good thoughts for you. I'll look out for your threads.

[hester91]

sorry. the chia seeds are for the hair issue.

[Lecrea]

Originally Posted by kelly4519

I know how loneliness feels. It helps to come here like you did now so you can see there are many people who are feeling lost and alone. I'm sorry you feel scared. I've had hair loss more than usual it could just be stress. Tell your doctor you are afraid to tske the meds. Keep talking here and read some other posts so you can see your not alone.

Yea Thanks alot, am feeling scared because Anxiety has taken its toll on me and its causing lots of stress. and about my hair i hope its just the stress and i really want it to stop soon.

[Lecrea]

Originally Posted by hester91

Lecrea,

You are not alone. I have been diagnosed with depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety. I Feel lost in your own head. Some days I walk around my house trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do. I truly feel confused. It's very distressing and scary. I dont feel like that today so I know the depression,anxiety... do lift. Although, right now my husband is pissing my of and making me anxious b/b he keeps trying to have a conversation despite the fact that he sees that im typing...UUURRRGGG. But getting back, Give the medication time to kick in, you will feel better. Its a painful process but you will feel better.

Ive been taking Chia seeds, my dr. recommended them, and they seem to be working, slowly but theyre working.
Feel better soon. I'm thinking good thoughts for you. I'll look out for your threads.

Hahaha, me too i feel so lost and confused. i will start taking my meds after 3 days Hopefully i will be rewarded on the longterm i really want them them to help me. i will ask my doc about chia seeds if i can take them too Thanks aloot thats so sweet of you. God bless you

[hester91]

Originally Posted by Lecrea

Hahaha, me too i feel so lost and confused. i will start taking my meds after 3 days Hopefully i will be rewarded on the longterm i really want them them to help me. i will ask my doc about chia seeds if i can take them too Thanks aloot thats so sweet of you. God bless you

Good. I made you laugh. Feel better. I'll look out for your threads.

[missbelle]

.....and you will find happiness again. Give the meds time to work and if by chance they don't there are always others to try...Never give up!

[CgRgSm]

Hi Lecrea,

I'm a 23 year old male and I feel very similar things. I haven't been diagnosed yet, I will be on Monday (not looking forward to it), but I have been depressed for most of my life. I remember being a child in class and my teacher asking the class "Is (name) dead today or something? because I was always so lifeless. I have all your symptoms except losing hair, and I am sorry for you. I too feel very lost. No way out.

I think about death and possibilities of suicide every day, but for now I am not going to commit suicide. I don't believe in God, though, I don't believe in anything at all. Nothing is real to me. But yes, I am just stuck, I cannot get out, trapped. I hate everything, I am a hater, I see no hope, no future, no nothing. No reason for living, I am just a zombie carrying out routine tasks just to keep my body alive but my mind/spirit/soul/whatever you want to call it has been dead for years.

[hester91]

CgRgSm,

I try hard not to be a hater but, that teacher sounds like a *****. My son is your age and he had crappy teachers too. No child should have to endure that in school.
I've been where your at. It felt like I was in a thick fog. It does feel like everything is hopeless. Like there isn't a ray of light coming in. But the fog does lift and the light does shine through. (It's painful for me to read of your suffering.) Hold on. Your perspective is going to improve. I'm thinking good thoughts for you.

[Lecrea]

Originally Posted by missbelle

.....and you will find happiness again. Give the meds time to work and if by chance they don't there are always others to try...Never give up!

I Really cant wait to be happy again or live life normally again. I Would do anything To be normal again. Thanks

[Lecrea]

hello CgRgSm

maybe you should try meds or change the place where you live at. am travelling Back to my home country to continue my studies there Because am sick of the place where i live at now.

[CgRgSm]

hester91,

While those were the exact words that my teacher used, you sort of had to know him/be there. He said it in a joking manner, not a serious manner, as he threw pieces of candy at me wondering why I wasn't scrambling to catch them/pick them up like the other kids. Now, I realize that sounds bad, heh, but I didn't/don't have anything against him, he was always nice and joking all the time.

Anyway, thanks for replying.

Lecrea,

I have been in therapy for a while, and the way that my therapist acts is like the only hope for me is medication. Unless this medication can erase all of my memories, all of my thoughts, and can completely change my personality and who I am, I really do not see any hope. I do hate where I live, but I don't know how to move, live on my own, or take care of myself. I told this to my therapist and he just remarks something like, "You managed to get here and have clothes on". *Sigh*

[Stagnation123]

Originally Posted by CgRgSm

Hi Lecrea,

I'm a 23 year old male and I feel very similar things. I haven't been diagnosed yet, I will be on Monday (not looking forward to it), but I have been depressed for most of my life. I remember being a child in class and my teacher asking the class "Is (name) dead today or something? because I was always so lifeless. I have all your symptoms except losing hair, and I am sorry for you. I too feel very lost. No way out.

I think about death and possibilities of suicide every day, but for now I am not going to commit suicide. I don't believe in God, though, I don't believe in anything at all. Nothing is real to me. But yes, I am just stuck, I cannot get out, trapped. I hate everything, I am a hater, I see no hope, no future, no nothing. No reason for living, I am just a zombie carrying out routine tasks just to keep my body alive but my mind/spirit/soul/whatever you want to call it has been dead for years.

Sounds similar to my history. I am 22 and lost probably 15 years of my life. I also think sometimes about death, but the strange thing is that when I was younger I had often panic attacks of dying and needed to occupy my mind with something different before I could go back to sleep. Nowadays I have just sometimes the inner unrest when I think about death. Knowing that this is the ultimate end and nobody will remember you, because of being a loser. Maybe it can be beneficial if I would be a religious person, but I have problems believing in all this. Oh not to mention when I have the desire to be dead, I always think about the possibility of an accident, because I know myself and I could never commit suicide. That is just one positive trait or maybe it is my flaw.

I started a blog to overcome my depressions and to track my progress, but since yesterday I experienced a downfall again

[TroubledAngel12]

Oh yeah definitely can relate to your situastion. I have been feeling the same way for months and just last week, the situation got worse. I was more or less forced to come out to my mom again because she didn't believe me the first time I told her but my dad went behind my back and told everything about me and my fiancee so now I feel backstabbed and betrayed and I'm trying my hardest not to hate them but it is hard. My mom threw a bunch of judgmental statements at me and tried to force me to show interest in guys when I made it perfectly clear to her that I am NOT interested in guys. Worst part, I'm pretty much stuck with them until I can find a job, make money, buy a car, and move out. It sucks. So, I know exactly how you feel.

[RJ78]

Oh yes, I feel intense loneliness every time I'm deeply depressed, like I'm the only person in the world who understands. But I've come to see a bit more clearly that this is a symptom of my illness, not a true representation of reality. There are people who love me and whom I love out there, and there will be others.

The meds I'm taking have eased some of the pain, as has me joining this forum recently. I'm also in a depression support group, and I'm going to my second meeting tonight!

Keep telling us how you feel, I care about you and am sending you love.

RJ

[Lecrea]

Originally Posted by TroubledAngel12

Oh yeah definitely can relate to your situastion. I have been feeling the same way for months and just last week, the situation got worse. I was more or less forced to come out to my mom again because she didn't believe me the first time I told her but my dad went behind my back and told everything about me and my fiancee so now I feel backstabbed and betrayed and I'm trying my hardest not to hate them but it is hard. My mom threw a bunch of judgmental statements at me and tried to force me to show interest in guys when I made it perfectly clear to her that I am NOT interested in guys. Worst part, I'm pretty much stuck with them until I can find a job, make money, buy a car, and move out. It sucks. So, I know exactly how you feel.

I really feel you too. I really Love my parents But sometimes They drive me crazy When they Dont support me or make fun of me. I have made my choice am travelling Next week to my Home country away from my parents and family and this stupid country am in. am gonna complete my studies there and hopefully find my happiness back there again. You should do something soon too

[truth seeker]

thank you for sharing. ask the doctor about the hair problem. i am not a fan of meds but try them out least if things are really that. i have felt the same things, you are not alone.

[Lecrea]

Originally Posted by RJ78

Oh yes, I feel intense loneliness every time I'm deeply depressed, like I'm the only person in the world who understands. But I've come to see a bit more clearly that this is a symptom of my illness, not a true representation of reality. There are people who love me and whom I love out there, and there will be others.

The meds I'm taking have eased some of the pain, as has me joining this forum recently. I'm also in a depression support group, and I'm going to my second meeting tonight!

Keep telling us how you feel, I care about you and am sending you love.

RJ

Thanks alot for replying.yea me too i just started taking pills Yesterday. am really trying hard to get out of this Nightmare. Much love to you too God bless you