when is it time

I've been feeling really low, I have been dealing with suicidal ideation for weeks now. I know what I would do if i was going to do it...

So when do I need to saty enough is enough and go inpatient again. I don't want to at all, but I don't know how much longer I can go on this way.

nicoleb2,
If you are feeling suicidal, its time to go to the ER. You have been to the edge before, and know how fast a suicidal thought can turn into an action.
You are obviously having a very hard time and you are far too young to give up. Your children would be devestated if their mother was suddenly gone, or worse yet, if they found you after a suicide attempt or a completed suicide.

I know inpatient therapy is not something that is pleasant or what you want, but you need to get to a safe place and find your equalibrium again.

Having a depression that does not respond to therapy or medications is a frightening and helpless feeling. I've been fighting depression for 40yrs and my body cannot tolerate any of the anti-depressants. I do understand that feeling of the inability to find something that depression will respond to.

If you don't want to go back into an inpatient setting for yourself, do it for your kids. Even though right now its probably very difficult to care for their needs when you can barely hold things together, they are a precious gift and a very good reason to save yourself.

If you feel that you might do something before morning, go into the ER now. I don't know if you are married, divorced or alone, but find someone to take the kids and get yourself into the hospital ASAP. The most important thing right now is to get yourself to safety.

Please let us know how things worked out. I'm very concerned about what you are saying and don't want you to become a statistic.

Sam2

i have read your post and have to agree with Sam2. You be safe. Have the numbers there by the phone: the local crisis and ready to dial 911 or equivalent.

You can post in threads here at PC and ask for help from members. Perhaps you could find something that de escalates the tension.

Hello again I met you in the chat room the previous night. Up lease be.

I think it is time when you don't trust yourself anymore. When you are not sure you can control the suicidal feelings and feel like you may hurt yourself. I think at that point you must reach out to whatever support system you have, or go to a hospital.

I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. In case this might help--I have had times when my despair was just relentless and kept dragging me deeper and deeper. I usually don't have anyone to talk to about my problems. and Ts are not always available so out of desperation I started to talk out loud to myself. I talked about things as if I were talking to a T. I even talked back as if I were the T. This has helped me out of some rough patches, if not permanently, at least temporarily. I hope you will be able to find something to help you feel better nicole. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

(((nicole)))) I am not familiar with your postings and wouldn't begin to guess when a good time to go to ER is. Best I can say, is do what you need to stay safe, and to get better. It sounds like you need some help right now - and inpatient at least allows you to focus on getting better and gives you resources you wouldn't get where you are now.

Just wanted to send you hugs, and wish you good luck

Nicole, I've been having the same thoughts too and I feel you. Are you seeing a therapist or looking for one? I'm currently looking for one right now and so far I'm not having so much luck...

I see my t every other week. I will see her on Monday. I also am able to call or text when I need to, which has kept me out of the hospital many times.

I'm doing a little better today, although still pretty stressed. This is a really tough time of year for me (birthdays of people who have died, anniversaries of their deaths, winter...), so I just have to remember to take it minute by minute if that's what it takes