[Lovely Loss]

So I suppose I'm talking about being depressed, I don't actually know if I have depression and so I'm really sorry if I offend anyone. It's kind of self-diagnosed. Again, I'm really sorry. I guess I should share now.
I was in a relationship and it was the first time I'd been in love, I'm only seventeen. But that doesn't matter. I've never been very good at getting close to people and so I became really paranoid throughout the relationship and I would make suicide threats and cry for help all the time. Sorry if that was offensive, I know it's petty and stupid. Sorry. But uh, I should continue. I was so scared that I eventually pushed her away and she left, my failed high school and I just lost the will to do anything. Sorry for complaining, I had one friend through it all so I really shouldn't. I'm just trying to share. So yeah, after it all happened I made a few more big scenes for attention, which is really stupid I know. And eventually I just isolated myself. I felt nothing at all, I was just alive and empty, their but not hollow. I just felt numb all the time, I stopped doing anything at all. Then one day I felt this random pain, it was like a constant emotional thud in my chest and it was like a deadweight sitting on my shoulders. Literally like I was carrying a body on top of me. It's been about a month since that has happened. So I suppose guess that's depression. If it's not I really am sorry, I don't want to act like I know how it feels to be depressed. I think it is.
So yeah, I guess that's me sharing. Sorry for typing so much. But if you read it than thanks.

[optimize990h]

Hi Lovely Loss, have you seen a medical doctor about the chest heaviness or have you been to a therapist for the treatment of your depression?

From what you wrote in your post, you have good insight about yourself or you have seen a counsellor/therapist.

I read it again, you may have done some research on depression.

The mental health professionals can help treat your depression(if you have not seen a pdoc).

You can also look at the resources here for depression and continue to post whatever needs to be expressed. The members at PC can help with any questions you have.

[Lovely Loss]

Hello optimize. No I haven't seen anyone for the chest heaviness, I guess it just never struck me as a physical pain, it just feels like an emotional pain in a physical pain. If that makes sense, sorry I have a little trouble explaining myself. The depression, right well. Ah, sort of. I'm in therapy but the focus is way away from depression, it's more on the things that brought me to therapy in the first place. So depression has just been ignored, I guess that's my bad, I'm not very good under pressure and I just end up telling them what I think they want to hear. So I never really tell them I'm depressed.
And thank you very much for the kind words, it means a lot . I'll be sure to look at those resources and yeah. I don't know if I have good insight, but it's nice to hear. Thank you again.

[black dog boogie]

Hey LL, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing. It's brave to open up like that so well done.
I would definitely recommend going and talking to a doctor about how you're feeling. They can help assess your symptoms and suggest treatment or refer you to mental health services. I'm not sure how it works over in Australia (I'm in New Zealand! Hey neighbour!) but GPs here can prescribe antidepressant medication if they think you would benefit from them. They should ask you a series of questions to assess your mental health.
One thing I can suggest is make sure you are really honest with them. If there is something concerning then tell them. If it's difficult, you could writer everything down on a piece of paper and give it to your doctor to read. That's what I did recently and it proved to be really beneficial for me.

I wish you all the best in recovery, and please keep us updated on how you're going

[Lovely Loss]

Hello to you too neighbour .
Yeah I guess that'd be best, I have an appointment with a psychiatric doctor in a few days anyway. So I guess it'd be best to bring it up with them. I just find it hard to tell them anything is all, so maybe writing is a good idea. I just need to talk myself into showing them what I've actually written.
So yeah, thanks for the warm support . I really hope you're doing okay, good luck to you too.

[yoslos12]

High school/college is hard for a lot of people. I'd say you are feeling depressed at the moment. I'd also say to talk to someone about it and get help. Don't do what I did and wait four years until you can barely function. Don't tell yourself that it's nothing. If you think there's something wrong, talk to someone about it. Hang in there.
Yoslos12

[black dog boogie]

Originally Posted by Lovely Loss

Hello to you too neighbour .
Yeah I guess that'd be best, I have an appointment with a psychiatric doctor in a few days anyway. So I guess it'd be best to bring it up with them. I just find it hard to tell them anything is all, so maybe writing is a good idea. I just need to talk myself into showing them what I've actually written.
So yeah, thanks for the warm support . I really hope you're doing okay, good luck to you too.

If it's even too hard to give your doc the piece of writing you did about your feelings/concerns, you could even take a support person with you who will help encourage you. When I went to the doc on Monday to give him my piece of paper, I took my husband into the appointment with me. He didn't even have to say much, just having him there helped. Do you have a supportive friend or family member who could go along with you, if you think it might help?
All the best.

[Lovely Loss]

Thanks yoslos, I guess I'll be sure to get as much help as I need. And yeah, four years sounds like such a long time, I hope you're getting the help you need too . Best wishes.
I have a friend who is really supportive, but I guess I've been keeping a lot of this to myself. So I guess I don't really talk to them about it, I just don't want to upset them by bringing this all out. I don't know really, I guess I just need to stop finding excuses and deal with it.
It's nice to hear your husband helped so much, black dog boogie, even if he didn't have to say very much. It's such a sweet thing to hear and I hope everything gets better real soon.