Where do I start?

I have had moderate (untreated) depressive feelings for as long as I can remember (since I was a child). The depression is getting worse, I'm starting to get really worried about my ability to be a "functioning" member of society. Worried I will lose my jobs and my ability to pay bills and sink deeper into depression. Today I didn't make it to work, didn't even call the office. Had to stop the car on my way into work because I started crying and couldn't stop. Cried in the park for a couple hours before going back home.

I know I need help, I don't know where to start. Finding a doctor seems like a huge obstacle that is impossible to overcome. I have insurance, but I don't know what it covers in terms of mental health. I don't know if I need a referral. I called my insurance today and they said I could "self refer" - but where do I start? Just calling random therapists and asking for appointments?

I have never been on anti-depressants. I feel like it's going to take so long to find a doctor that will help, and drugs that work, it'll be months before anything gets better.

I guess I am looking for people's experience on finding a therapists... People who can relate to this mind-numbing sense of futility and sorrow.

How did you get diagnosed? How did you find a doctor? How long did you have to wait to be seen the first time? Can you start with a psy doc? Was it hard to get people to take you seriously? Has anything changed after you started meds and counseling?

Part of me feels like I am being ridiculous, and part of me just wishes someone would tell me what to do because i can't seem to figure it out for myself.

Hello,

Do you have a GP or internist? If so,start with them. The meds do take time, not months to start working. If you see a PDOC, they will be able to recommend a therapist. Your insurance company can also give you names.

There is a site that rates medical professionals.....can't remember the name. If you hang out here, you are in good company and people will understand what you are experiencing. It helps to connect even via the internet.

Take care,

Sabra

I can relate to a lot of what you are feeling. I too alternate between feeling helpess and sorrowful and wishing somebody would find a therapist for me, and then feeling ridiculous and chastising myself for being so (insert whatever negative emotion here). Don't feel ridiculous. It is not normal to be crying all the time and feeling so helpless and sad. I know that it feels like a lot of work to find a therapist. At least you have insurance. That is step 1. I am uninsured and unemployed and trust me, it is a lot harder that way. Yes, just start calling therapists and ask if they accept your coverage. So your insurance company already said that you can self refer, which sounds like you do not need a referral. Just start calling, or like Sabra recommended, see your general physician and ask for them to recommend somebody.

Again, please don't feel ridiculous for the way you feel. It is bad enough to feel the way you do, so do not beat yourself up for it on top of things.

Good luck.

Hi "Lemonada" and welcome. I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. Believe me, I understand. I've also been depressed since i was a child, but didn't get any help until I was in my 20's because my parents were too busy getting drunk.

Like I said, I was very very sick by the time I saw someone - and i "self referred" myself thru social services." My husband and I hadn't been married long and we didn't have alot of money. Plus if I remember correctly, our insurance didn't cover mental issues. So i went thru social services, and the so-called "therapist" I saw promptly molested me! I ran from there, and it was a long time before I got any help again. That made me much sicker!

My husband changed jobs, and we did have insurance for mental health. I had a doctor and he referred me to a psychiatrist, who promptly put me in a mental hospital (I signed myself in) and that was the best thing I ever did for myself. I was put on medication, got daily visits with my psychiatrist, plus we had group therapy. I was finally "stabilized" and was able to go home after 2 weeks, but kept seeing the psychiatrist for another year.

I've been in and out of therapy ever since, and I've been on medication for about 40 yrs. I have clinical depression (major depressive disorder) and will have to keep taking meds until I die. The chemicals/hormones/etc. in my brain are lacking and have to be replaced by the meds.

A lot of therapists want referrals, so it's best if you have your doctor refer you. Besides, your doctor knows the BEST therapists around. So have your doctor refer you to a therapist. They will try to get you in soon -- and if it's a long wait, ask to be put on the cancellation list so they'll call you in case someone cancels so you can go in sooner. The therapist will diagnose you, and it might take a couple of visits before he can do this.

The meds can take anywhere from a few days to 6 wks to start working. Just ask your doctor how long they take. But do NOT stop taking them abruptly. that can be dangerous. If you ever want to stop taking them for whatever reason, you MUST talk to your doctor and get a weaning schedule!!!

Some meds have side effects, and they usually go away after a short time. They all differ, and the pharmacist can tell you about them. They are NOT serious usually, but some can be so be sure to ask. I've NEVER had trouble with any of the meds I've been on. So chances are you'll do fine.

If you have any more questions, let me know. Hugs, Lee

Welcome lemonada. I applaud your courage for voicing your struggles - an important step and one that will come in handy. I don't know what the healthcare system is like there but here it's either self-referral or GP-referred. So you might want to start by talking to your doctor. At the same time you can look into your local health authority and find out what services they offer and how to get into them. And be strong...it might take awhile, it could take awhile to find the right meds, etc etc, but in my experience it pays off. Good luck.

Yes, Lemonada, get in to see a psychiatrist. If necessary just look in your telephone
directory under psychiatrists and choose one. That will be a start. From that point
you will be able to start freedom from severe depression and move into a more comfortable and content feeling tone.

Doctors can do something almost within days to help you feel better and then change your medications to another for longer term benefit.

You are fortunate that you have the insurance. Please use it and get the help you
need. We've all talked to psychiatrists and can tell you that they are good at this
business of depression and low feeling tone accompanying it.

Take care and good wishes on a new start.

Just a warning Don't trust the doctors to know what anti-depressants will do to you or for you. I took them and it made everything much worse for years. I nearly died before I saw what was happening. I recommend practicing mindfulness first. Depression is the common cold of mental illness and anti-depressants are like chemotherapy for a cold

Thanks all for the feedback and support. To those that pm'd me, sorry this account doesn't seem to let me send mail. Guess its too new.

I haven't made an appointment with a therapist yet, but I made an appointment for a physical with a new primary care doctor. Its been a couple years since i went in for a checkup, so i dont have a doc now. I found the doctor on a website called zocdoc.com. I just stumbled across the site, it has a lot of ratings. Not super detailed reviews, but more than healthgrades.com.

So my appointment is Friday...My hope is that the doctor will be good enough to start some meds and direct me to a psychiatrist. I'll let you know if the doctor lives up to the zocdoc rating.

I feel like a nut job though. I am a mess of wacky symptoms... Depression, anxiety, restless leg syndrome, insomnia, sleep apnea, relationship troubles. Thats before you get into the ailments not related to the mind. I just hope the doctor doesn't just think I am a drug seeking weirdo.

Hi, Lemonada,

The restless leg syndrome, relationship troubles, crying, insomnia are all part of the brain chemistry problems. So you're going to be in good hands to correct almost all the problems you're having.

Congratulations on taking the step toward better health.

Tell the psychiatrist that you need something to reduce anxiety until the meds kick in. He may be willing to give you something to help until the major meds are functioning 100% in your system. (That may take a couple of weeks.)

Can't tell you how glad I am to see that you're being so smart about it all and handling it so well.

Take care and keep in touch to let us know how you are, please.

Also consider looking for.mental health clinics in the area. I just started at one that does it all -counseling, php, iop, and med management and i only had to call one place. What i did was go on my insurance company's website and looked for behavioral health. I don't really have a GP since i never go to the doctor so i couldn't start there but if yours is good they might be able to help.

Also since it's really only benzos that get you high, not anti depressants, i do not think your doc will think you are drug seeking unless you go in demanding xanax or something. So don't worry about that!

Update: I went to the doctor, which I found on Zocdoc. She prescribed 50 mg Zoloft daily, which I have been on for a week and a day. I might be feeling better. I haven't been crying quite as much. I still am brooding and dwelling on things that make me unhappy. But it's not quite as... hysterical and hopeless.

She also did blood tests to check thyroid and other things. Normal thyroid, but insanely low levels of Vitamin D. She prescribed Ambien, so I am not having entirely sleepless nights. The week before I visited the doctor I didn't sleep for two nights solid, which makes me feel absolute despair. She did say that she wasn't a psychiatrist, so she could only treat me for 3 month intervals (I have to go back every three months to continue to get meds). Is that normal?

Restless leg is still a problem, I think it's getting worse. I notice myself twitching my toes at weird times. It's even started irritating me at work. It never did that before. Disturbing.

I still want to see a psychiatrist. Drugs are fine and good, but I feel like I want to fix my brain. I'm tired of feeling this way... I want to be able to stop myself from thinking my way into a funk.