I Really Need Some Advice

First of all I'm am not going to go into specific details towards the society among me because it is the equivalent of talking against someone's back. You NEVER want to talk bad about others... Unless of course it's me.

I want some help....

Okay I want to stop trying to cut myself when ever a harsh event happens that leaves me so guilty about myself. It's not only ruining me, but everything else around me. People say that I only want attention and that I just want to be the victim of everything (even though I'm just the victim of myself). But I feel terrible, (from this point I'm going to include religious topics) because I know that God loves me (I think, don't want to sound too cocky) and I should be grateful that I am more fortunate than others....

But I hate myself so much... What I do, how I look. I've been just a horrible, horrible daughter and sister and I wish I could just make up for all the bad things I've done in my life. I want to stop taking the bait and getting angry or sad because someone told me something or over a small thing. I keep on telling my self that theres billions of people in this world.... That not all of them will hate if I met them... But I just feel so unwanted and disgusted at the monster I am.

Um so could anyone give me some advice to stop cutting, getting mad, guilt, and how approach someone that you've hurt and you want to say sorry to them, and how to have a nice relationship with family?

Please and thanks.... I really need this. Sorry if this post was too long, but I just wanted to vent out an answer

It's hard to do all at once. I am not sure if you have ever explored the root if these feelings in therapy. I used to feel that way and it stemmed from the neglect I endured from my mother. It took me a long time to admit that to myself. Sometimes we hate ourselves because we feel too guilty to be angry with people close to us. But when I finally admitted to my anger and worked through it, the self hatred gradually went away. But it is a scary road and you have to be willing to walk it. I always felt I expressed myself better in writing. I write my mom many letters that I never actually have her. My brother too, because I felt guilty over abandoning him. Eventually I confronted my brother and apologized in person.

You can use coping skills all you like but if you never confront the root you may never truly feel better. But you might, I can't speak for everyone.

Dearest "Tiger" -- I'm not going to use the word "hated" because you are NOT. My friend, you are being SO hard on yourself. Honey, you are no different that anyone else -- we have ALL done things that we are sorry for. Every last one of us. And if we get the chance, we apologize for it. For some of us, it's more difficult than others. But please BELIEVE ME, God KNOWS that we're sorry and GOD LOVES YOU!!! You are a child of God, and of course He loves you! He forgave you when you did whatever it was you did.

Why do you hate the way you look? Are you questioning God's work? Afterall, He made you. And are you that sure that you were THAT horrible a daughter & sister? What proof do you have? Does your mother still love you? Does your sister still love you?

You shouldn't cut yourself, because you'd be cutting God's work. Not only that, but you'll leave some ugly scars. You don't want that do you?

And how do you approach someone to apologize? I had to do that when I got sober -- that's part of AA. We had to apologize to the people we'd hurt thru the years, from our drinking. Yes, it was hard, but I HAD to do it in order to stay sober. You know what? It wasn't as hard as I thought -- and you know what else? They ALL accepted my apology gracefully! All I did was say: I want to apologize for my actions (then you fill in the details). I will BET that they will tell you something like "Don't worry about it." Or they might say "It did hurt my feelings, but I'm over it now." That's great isn't it???

So go ahead and do it -- and don't fret over it. You'll feel so much better after you do it, I promise. It's the same with the family. Just apologize and chances are you can start a new and even better relationship! God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

I do know how you feel, you are in a depressive state and that state makes you feel horrible, it makes you feel just like you feel. If you don't go to a professional I suggust you do find one. Cutting is not healthy at all as well as dangerous, you may cut to deep or cut a main vessel or something. As for asking for forgiveness you just have to say it!! and mean it from your heart, asking someone to forgive you actually makes you feel good also!!Learn to love you you ae a beautiful person inside that body!! once yo learn how great you are you will begin to feel better!! beating yourelf up never helps you get well it only digs deeper and deeper in dispare.I wish you look and remember here you have friends to isten to you without judging you, because all of us here has issues to deal with. Good luck.