I know i said i was taking a break, but...

I know i said i was taking a break, but i just need a chat badly.

the mood here in my house is so negative! my dads acting so strange, is all quiet and vacant looking, and looks as though he has been crying. he just gets stressy if i ask him what the matter is. then theres my brother...need i say more!

Im back at work this week too, and people there are negative. all around me is negativity and it is doing me so much damage! i feel like its suffocating me! im the type of person that needs postivity and happiness around me, or being around genuine, deep people (by that i mean people who arent shallow and self-obsessed!) but all it is around me recently is negativity, shallow-ness and unhappiness. i feel like its crushing me and i cant stop it. i wanted to take a break from PsychCentral to try and find out what is wrong, and its not even been a day and i know exactly what the problem is! i just dont know what to do about it! i feel trapped, lost and confused about where i am at the moment, so i cant leave here because this is my lifeline...and led in bed last night i realised that. i was really unhappy last night, and have been today, and still am tonight. i feel like i need to cry but it wont come out. i needed to cry last night, today and especially tonight, but i really cant let go of it!! i feel like a resevoir that is full of water, and the pressure behind my eyes is big, but i just cant release it. i dont feel like eating either, because i have so many emotions to digest, it doesnt feel like there is room for food, if you see what i mean. i havent eaten properly since yesterday, i know i should but i just dont want to. i normally have councilling on tuesday's but my councillor is away this week so i have to wait until next tuesday, but i really need it this week!! im glad i still have this place, and i did want to try and see how i got on without this site but i cant do it yet. not now.

anyone got any kind words of comfort, because i could really do with some right now! thanks in advance.

simon

Sorry to hear that about your dad...have you ventured to sit down next to him or near him and ask??? AND to stay... and ask... and not take HOW he says what he says as an attack? Men just don't often learn how to show or FEEL emotions (you know!)... maybe ask if there's something you can do.. or do together to make you both feel better... I've read some posts of yours, and chatted too... you can probably figure out some good words to say... I think sticking to it and not slunking away... not taking his attitude personally (even if he says it's your fault)... try keeping an even voice... who knows? maybe something good will happen.. If not (sigh) then you're no worse off??? Good wishes!

I know this sounds really selfish, but i need to work on myself. my vision is so blurred lately i cant see to help others. is that really selfish?

Gee Simply Simon...You had a bad day today...my heart goes out to you...want me to sing? lol...I did to someone today already...Zippidy Do Dah! lol...Hope your friends here on line will cheer you up! Sort of glad you are back!! I like your posts...!!

simon......of course you're not being selfish.......you give so much to others here....we need to hold your hand right now and tell you..it will be ok........know that you are loved and this will pass.try to take care of yourself.....get something to eat......meditate and listen to some good music....relax and know that this will pass simon.....

(((Simon))))

Don't feel bad about having to come back - I took a "break" myself that didn't last that long at all.

I know its hard living in anything at all like that kind of environment - I really do feel for you.

It may not be the most useful for you - but have you thought about writing down everything your feeling (journalling) or maybe writing some poetry or doing something musical? You have the artistic talent going for you - so its worth a try. It can help to ventilate how you feel - and I've found it can also bring you over the edge enough to cry so it releases the pressure and tension.

Take care of yourself okay? Can you go for a walk, spend some time outdoors, do something you enjoy or go to visit someone who might be able to cheer you up or that you can at least have some fun with?

**hugs** PM me anytime, okay?