My therapist said she can no longer help me!

Hello Everyone,

I've only had a few sessions with my therapist (5 to be exact), and she told me that she can no longer help me and that more therapy sessions would be a waste of time for me. The only reason I am going is because my work is paying for the sessions. I dont know what to make of it. She said to me that I'm still grieving for my brother and other deaths I've had in my family over the years. In the first session she said all the pdoc does is medicate, but that's all I have left now.I really dont know where to go from here. I'm stable for the moment but all I will have to fall back on is medication. My therapist said there was nothing she could put her finger on, so I just wanted to ask you guys did a therapist ever say anything to you like that. Emotionally I feel up in the air. I much appreciate any feedback. Thanks.

Wow, that is a hard thing for a depressed person to hear. It's easy to decide the message is all about me. But it's really about both of you. Not all therapists are smart enough or motivated to help all patients. Maybe you should even be grateful that she's being honest instead of wasting your time. If you want to continue therapy, can you look for another therapist?

Did she suggest alternatives?

Maybe you need to see a therapist who specializes in your problems. Therapist should tell a patient when they can't help them. That's the ethical thing to do.

No she did not suggest any alternatives. Maybe my depression is a chemical imbalance and I dont need therapy?

Did you depression start or worsen around the time of family deaths? How about a support group for grieving family members, or maybe just for depressed individuals? Also, you can try another therapist. They might be able to take your care in another direction.

Hi Pierro

I went to a therapist many years ago, and, for me, it did nothing -- went for about a month. I have always felt that my depression is caused by a chemical imbalance, and, so for me, I have no need to discuss anything. With the medication I take, my depression is pretty much under control. I went to my family doctor a while bad, and told him, I just feel very sad. He asked why -- what was wrong -- and I told him, -- I have no idea. So, he did give me another anti-depressant. For me, the med is all I need -- I don't feel I have, or need, to talk

So sorry that you are still grieving for the loss of your family -- that is a hard thing to deal with

I have had a couple therapists - each with their own specialty - tell me they had reached and shared all the conclusions they could regarding my case. I believe they were being honest with me; no additional therapeutic digging was going to unearth a miracle insight that would suddenly free me from my depression.

One of these therapists suggested that for the long term I continue with the meds and handle depression as a kind of chronic pain scenario. That's not exactly a happy view of things. I hope you can eventually find a more encouraging framework for what you are experiencing, Pierro.

Hi Pierro,

do you want to try therapy? If yes, then look around for another one. I hope there are multiple resources in your area. If you truly want to be trying therapy and the therapist you were seeing knows that, her response seems a bit odd to me. But not to worry, you can probably find someone else to work with. And maybe when you do ask that person some questions like - I don't know - how long could you continue? Could they help you with x, y, z....Not sure off the top of my head, but interview them a bit, see if they will be a good match for you. I'm so glad you're holding steady at the moment. Sounds like a good time to sort this therapist bit out then.

wow, 5 sessions is fast to decide that in. I would suggest finding another therapist if possible... I've been to some that I just did not click with, and some I hit walls with... If you feel you need to talk (and grief work might be better done with the help of a therapist), then find someone else to work with... At least she is not dragging you along and you both become frustrated and resentful... sorry

It sounds like she doesn't want to try (I would be so annoyed...the "waste of time" thing really gets to me) so she probably wasn't the best therapist for you. Therapy helps with grief and maybe she just can't deal with working with clients who are grieving. (Her client list must be short.) Anyway, she should have given you names of other therapists for you to see that might be a better fit your situation though.
Can you look at a list of providers who are options for you? I would call a few if possible and see if you can talk to them on the phone first for like 5 minutes before you make an appt. (some want that before you come anyway) so they know your situation and you can get a feel for the T.
I am so sorry this happened and hugs to you.

My opinion is that this therapist hasn't much of a clue! I intensely dislike her comment about a "waste of time.". I suggest looking for another therapist who has the heart and desire to help and to listen. 5 sessions? Grrrr.
Sending many well thoughts to you.

I don't know you, so I have no idea whether you might be someone who would not be helped by therapy. I know such people exist because I'm married to one :-). But it took YEARS of effort with multiple therapists before one finally got to that bottom line with him. He's genuinely not able to utilize therapy tools for positive change. For him, it is indeed a matter of excellent medication management and a little bit of supportive therapy with his psychiatrist.

I can't imagine anyone coming to that conclusion about a client in five sessions, though. So I'm adding my voice to those who are saying that it sounds like it's far more about that therapist and her limitations than it is about you. All t's are not created equal! If you feel up to trying again with another therapist, maybe one with a different kind of training and philosophy, then I'd so go for it.

I just wondered if contacting a bereavement charity would help at all and seeing if some sort of therapy or counselling might be available through an organisation like that - given that at least she did mention that she believed you were carrying a lot of grief and perhaps that's been at the root of a number of issues?? Just a thought.

I had this happen. On one occasion, when young, I confronted the therapist who was saying I didn't need tx, could do it on my own etc----when I said I disagreed and needed help he suddenly had a referral for me and, to boot went on to say he didn't think he could deal with me........and so, he had been willing to let me go thinking he thought I was "ok" when he thought no such thing...
I see him now, walking his dog, an elderly man (and I am so much older too), life is odd. (sorry, my mind is going off on a tangent) You decide what you need and want.

Thanks for all of your good advice. I think I didn't need the therapy in the first place. I was depressed before my brother passed it was just something she wanted to "home" in on.Do you not think that all the doctors therapists just want to "blame " something thats going on in your lives. Personally speaking many people would not be able to live without it and I commend that, but for me I think , I would not benefit from any more therapy.

1st of all, let me say I am sorry for your loss(es).

To me, the therapist isn't saying she can't help you so much as she has done what she can. This doesn't sound bad at all. She said you are grieving. And that sounds accurate from what you said.

A therapist can give you help & advise you, but grieving is something personal that you have to go through when you lose loved ones.

I think it is a sign to you that you are strong and able. That is when a therapist says something like this. She has faith that you are going to be okay in time.

That's the way I would take it. As a good thing.

People with depression due to chemical imbalances do still need therapy, but for slightly different reasons.

Therapy can help slightly with depression, but there are other important reasons to stick with therapy. Therapists help you manage any persisting depression you might have even with your medication. They will make sure you're on the right meds and dosage. Most importantly, they will watch your condition. If you suddenly get worse, they can change your meds or offer other help.

The gold standard for depression is therapy combined with medication. For many therapy alone has been superior over medication alone. Therapists are people too and are not created equally, this one might only be comfortable with a certain subset group or she might be one of those that prefer short fixed goals. Major depression is a chronic illness and as such lifestyle skills are very beneficial to the quality of life.

Best of luck!!! I know how hard depression is.... But I believe you know what is best for you. For everyone the route to recovery is a different path!!

I agree with MdngtRain that the therapist didn't give you a chance, so she probably wouldn't have been the best person for you anyway. If you are interested in pursuing non-medication avenues of healing, please don't give up on the notion of therapy just because this particular person didn't want to continue. Maybe she didn't feel the spark of empathy or interest she feels she needs to take on a new client. There are plenty of others out there who will be willing and hopefully well able to help you overcome some of your troubles.

Therapy requires time, patience, effort, and a willingness on the part of both client and therapist to be open, honest, available and attentive to each other and the work you engage in together. It's profound and worthwhile work. I hope if you do go that route that you find someone you really like and trust, who can give you the help you need.

Somehow I missed a whole page of responses when I posted my first response. So just wanted to add that I'm glad to see that so many others are in agreement.

Hi Pierro,
You just need to find another therapist.
I'll be blunt, he/she sounds like a lazy mental
health therapist. I mean why in the world did this
person even bother getting a degree?
I've never heard of such a thing.
I've been in & out of therapy but I've never heard
about a therapist that quits a patient after 5 sessions.
I'm sorry that you even have had to go through this.
Makes me angry.
But don't give up. Therapy is real important.
Ask your employer if you can go see another one
that they approve of & explain to them what happened.
Therapy is real important, the down side is that it is so
difficult to find the right one & one that's just the right fit.
This so called therapist is a flake!
I would write a complaint & report this person.
The least this therapist can do is provide you with a referral.
I hope you can find someone.

Like other said, at least she is honest with you.
But yes, I think few session (and with a few following) is too little and too fast.
So you may want to look for another therapist.

She could have suggest you other resources, I think that would be better.

hey

i really think that this is your personal question, whether you feel like you need therapy, do you have any unanswered questions about yourself? etc.
If you haven't been depressed throughout your whole life (endogen depression), then it's not caused by chemical imbalance. It's caused by life events, which you couldn't completely process so far.
I wish you the best of luck, and if you feel like you want to go to therapy, don't hesitate!
And you cannot expect "results" from just 5 sessions. It's more like 6 months, and probably 20-25 sessions that make a real difference. Provided you really let yourself into you deeply.