[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rose76

PC is about all I have. I don't have friends. There is just my S/O, but he is worn out with my sadness. So I'm home trying to give him a break.

((((Rose)))) I'm so sorry, and as usual I relate to your words. I pray that some sense of relief might come to you soon.

[Rachel.i]

Oh, Whimsy. (((((()))))) I don't feel obligated, nor want to tell you how you should feel, but I so wish you didn't feel this way and that you won't for long. I don't know what to say. Please message me if you want.

[shortandcute]

Very tired today. Trying to be more consistent with keeping my house clean, but it sure is taking a lot out of me. I got so depressed that I let my house go so much that now it smells really bad and I will have to replace the carpet. Well, I need to replace the carpet anyway, but now it smells bad too. My walls need a thorough bleach cleaning, we need to replace the couch because it stinks now, too. It costs money to replace couches and carpeting and I don't have the energy either. Plus, to get the smell out, I would need to use harsh chemicals and that makes me sick. I am so embarrassed that I let my house get that bad! I did not even notice how bad it smelled until someone told me that my sister told them that my house smelled like urine! I'M SO ASHAMED AND EMBARRESSED! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER AM I?!?!?!?

It was a pretty slow day at work today. I was feeling like my health anxiety and depression were disappearing. So that was OK. But it seemed to have gone downhill when I got home. I worked out, but felt some pain while doing it. And then some bad thoughts were there. And I went to the pool area at where I live but there were people that didn't seem nice. They were like a family and I was by myself. Also I sent a friend of mine an article I read and he wrote back saying he didn't like it.

Dong gong it, I wish I could meet some nice people when I go to the pool area where I live! If the people can not be nice, it least I'd like to be alone rather than having to put up with them.

[Grey Matter]

I woke up. Does that count as an up.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by will19

It was a pretty slow day at work today. I was feeling like my health anxiety and depression were disappearing. So that was OK. But it seemed to have gone downhill when I got home. I worked out, but felt some pain while doing it. And then some bad thoughts were there. And I went to the pool area at where I live but there were people that didn't seem nice. They were like a family and I was by myself. Also I sent a friend of mine an article I read and he wrote back saying he didn't like it.

Dong gong it, I wish I could meet some nice people when I go to the pool area where I live! If the people can not be nice, it least I'd like to be alone rather than having to put up with them.

Hi will19....Sorry that the bad thoughts came back, I know for me the constant ups and downs are really hard to take. And about the people at the pool, I think I might know what you mean, sometimes I do better alone than around people who bring up negative feelings. Sending a hug and hope you feel better as soon as possible ~whimsy

[tokiwartooth]

I am ok, still not feeling on top of it, but today is payday, even though my ENTIRE check goes to my rent...

[lindammarie]

Originally Posted by Bark

Another one of my nighttime depressions. Trying to ignore the thoughts and fall asleep. Hoping the med kicks in soon because I feel tired but wide awake. Kinda feeling like things are hopeless, pointless... angry at myself for being so lazy, going back to sleep when I could be doing something useful... angry that I'm not all that helpful. I wish I could wake up feeling rested one of these days.

Eh, I hope I feel better in the morning. Thankfully that's been the case for a while.

I feel kind of guilty posting here; I feel like an hour or so of depression doesn't compare to what you folks are going through. I'm just a whiner. Going to go back to ignoring myself... or wallowing in the thoughts and hopefully falling asleep to that.

Don't quit "whining". It helps me!!! (((((Bark)))))

[whimsygirl]

Just want to say a big Thank You to anyone who hugged me after my very "down" post yesterday....it is so very much appreciated I am feeling somewhat better today, with no tears so far, or the feeling that they're coming. I think I'm just really NUMB today and completely exhausted in all ways, which is good because I'm trying to fight off a bad migraine and have a million things to do today to get ready for a huge yard sale I'm having this coming weekend. Warm wishes and hugs to everyone ~whimsy

[lindammarie]

Focusing on now. I cannot make anyone want to be around me. And I cannot make anyone make time to nurture me the way I would like to be nurtured. I am at work now. That is enough.

[phaset]

I'm really anxious right now. I am leaving for the doctor in 10-15 mins. He wants to talk about medication, which is something that didn't do much for me in the past. I'm open to trying again.

I don't like talking about depression with him. Yeah I know, get a psychiatrist. My doctor always has evenings available and my other appointments during the day are causing problems with work.

[jegsu01]

My daily check in: Things have not been going well the last few days. I have struggled with family issues and personal issues. Nothing seems to be well no matter what I do.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by jegsu01

My daily check in: Things have not been going well the last few days. I have struggled with family issues and personal issues. Nothing seems to be well no matter what I do.

I'm really sorry that things are not feeling so good for you and pray that something turns for the better as soon as possible ~whimsy

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by lindammarie

Focusing on now. I cannot make anyone want to be around me. And I cannot make anyone make time to nurture me the way I would like to be nurtured. I am at work now. That is enough.

Hi lindammarie.....Just wanted to mention that your words " I cannot make anyone want to be around me" really resonate with me. I pray that some comfort comes to you as soon as possible Big Hug ~whimsy

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by lindammarie

I wish I could make myself talk as nicely to myself as I talk to others...

Amen to that!! We all should make it one of our goals.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Bark

I feel kind of guilty posting here; I feel like an hour or so of depression doesn't compare to what you folks are going through. I'm just a whiner. Going to go back to ignoring myself... or wallowing in the thoughts and hopefully falling asleep to that.

Oh dear Bark....There should be no such thing as a "rating" for any person's pain and suffering....it is all of equal importance and should be treated with utmost care and respect. And as for your idea that you are a "whiner".....omg no! You are one of the most kind, caring people I have ever met here, and God bless you....and everyone else on this forum who is brave enough to share their most intimate feelings and vulnerabilities. Sadly in the so-called "real" world we live in this is not the norm. Jmo Hugs ~whimsy

[lindammarie]

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Hi lindammarie.....Just wanted to mention that your words " I cannot make anyone want to be around me" really resonate with me. I pray that some comfort comes to you as soon as possible Big Hug ~whimsy

It's hard. If you're like me, you try to please people... But it doesn't do much good. Maybe I want too much...

Up up and away...it was a crazy but very good day.
I am exhausted but doing very well with it. I was extremey productive and it feels wonderful!

[Rachel.i]

My family of origin sucks... cruel effers... tears.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rachel.i

My family of origin sucks... cruel effers... tears.

So sorry Rachel Seems like whether family is related by blood or in any other way, they can be anything but the "safe place to land". Hugs ~whimsy

[Grey Matter]

Up. I went on a date. I've never been on a proper date. It was nice. She was truly sweet. And it was nice to escape for a bit.

[tigerlily84]

Feeling rather empty today. I had forgotten how exhausting pretending to be happy could be.

[lindammarie]

Originally Posted by Rachel.i

My family of origin sucks... cruel effers... tears.

Disappointment with family is the worst... I am trying hard to ignore my expectations, but often family gets in your face with their drama and make it impossible... ((((Rachel))))

[Fuzzybear]

sad sad sad

[tigerlily84]

So I received notification from a former employer that my information "may have been compromised" when someone obtained a flash drive that contained employee information like social security numbers and addresses back in April. This person returned the flash drive and they assured my employer that the information on the flash drive was not copied. Oh well that's comforting - you "assure" me that it hasn't been copied? The same person that STOLE the information in the first place? Wow, thank you. And if this happened in April, why am I hearing about it now, in July?

I don't need this right now, I'm trying to buy a car. Sorry everyone I had to vent. This is ridiculous.