[lindammarie]

Another week. I made it through the weekend OK. Didn't do much, but our day-trip on Saturday made me feel better.

I am in a situation this week where I could easily feel like I have no support and that I'm not very good at the things I try to do. I asked for support today... dangerous, I know.

[Rose76]

I've been hurting bad.

So are others, here. Sorry for all who are.

[Cinema]

My friend has been here since yesterday so I pretend to be alright for her sake. I just really don't wanna bum her out and make her pity me.

[Amelia Pond]

Yesterday I was doing so much better but today has been soul-crushing. I'm so sick of feeling like this.

[themonster7]

Working too much and too hard to focus on emotions or anything else, I'm just really tired. I guess that's good.

I've finally made an appt. with a new therapist. I feel anxious and worried about it, but I'm hoping I will feel better after meeting her.

[Liz07]

Depression is back today. I was fine yesterday, but today I was crying without knowing why. I feel like I have a gaping hole in my chest and it's been there all day. I hate this...

[herethennow]

still not well and i think T appt was the catalyst. This thurs I have to meet my relatives and slap the facade on even more and i dont know whether i can make it through the day without si-ing.

Pocketriders needed.

Sent from my phone using Tapatalk 2

[tigerlily84]

htn, I'll be a pocketrider! You WILL be okay. And you CAN get through this. ((Hugs))

As for me, I'm just here. I don't really have much else to add.

[Bark]

I hope you all will forgive me for disappearing without a word and for not catching up with everyone's posts. I'm travelling for the month, and so far, it's pretty good. Looking forward to meeting up with family and friends and going places.

Hope everyone's feeling better than when I left all of you, and if not, I hope things get better real soon.

It didn't seem like a real good day today for the most part. Tried to think positive but nothing really great happened. I've been feeling down about an upcoming biopsy. I had a lot of thoughts about how I should have gotten it all together and my health would have been so much better. I never had a special someone in my life (except when I was around 17 which was a century ago!) and felt like that's why my health is deteriorating. I know that sounds silly but that's what I believe. I've been thinking that I'm going to die soon and I don't have much to show for it when I do.

The day didn't start off good as I woke up around 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. I read somewhere that lonely people have that problem. Except I seemed to have fallen asleep about a half hour before I had to get up. And while I was up, there were annoying dogs yapping nearby. They have been a problem for a while.

Tonight I went to the pool area. There were a couple there. They were nice to talk to, but once again they are a couple. That's all that I seem to meet and it makes me feel like crap everytime I see couples. And then my friend called but we can only talk for two minutes.

I hope I can sleep good tonight. When I feel really down, it's hard to sleep.

lots of good and bad things going on.
i feel needed because I am helping out at my ex's place getting some things done for her, but its hard coming across all the stuff her new man is getting her and realizing that she had already started dating him before the ink was even dry on our separation papers.

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by lindammarie

I am in a situation this week where I could easily feel like I have no support and that I'm not very good at the things I try to do. I asked for support today... dangerous, I know.

(((Lindammarie))) Hoping you get the support you need and asked for.

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I've been hurting bad.

So are others, here. Sorry for all who are.

(((Rose76)))

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by bohemiangirl85

I've finally made an appt. with a new therapist. I feel anxious and worried about it, but I'm hoping I will feel better after meeting her.

Wishing you the best of luck with the new therapist. It sure is anxiety-provoking going to that first meeting. You already took one brave & hard step in calling her and setting up the meeting, though.

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by tigerlily84

htn, I'll be a pocketrider! You WILL be okay. And you CAN get through this. ((Hugs))

As for me, I'm just here. I don't really have much else to add.

(((Tigerlily))) Kinda monosyllabic myself right now. Know what you mean...

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by will19

It didn't seem like a real good day today for the most part. Tried to think positive but nothing really great happened. I've been feeling down about an upcoming biopsy. I had a lot of thoughts about how I should have gotten it all together and my health would have been so much better. I never had a special someone in my life (except when I was around 17 which was a century ago!) and felt like that's why my health is deteriorating. I know that sounds silly but that's what I believe. I've been thinking that I'm going to die soon and I don't have much to show for it when I do.

The day didn't start off good as I woke up around 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. I read somewhere that lonely people have that problem. Except I seemed to have fallen asleep about a half hour before I had to get up. And while I was up, there were annoying dogs yapping nearby. They have been a problem for a while.

Tonight I went to the pool area. There were a couple there. They were nice to talk to, but once again they are a couple. That's all that I seem to meet and it makes me feel like crap everytime I see couples. And then my friend called but we can only talk for two minutes.

I hope I can sleep good tonight. When I feel really down, it's hard to sleep.

(((Will19))) Had a biopsy a few weeks back, and it is scary to think about (I mostly tried to put it out of my mind till the day, and it did come back negative). Yes, loneliness really does suck. Sending wishes & thoughts that you will meet some people that are right for you (though I think sometimes couples can turn out to make good friends). It is hard for me to sleep when I'm really down too, because my mind just wants to keep going on. Anyway, hope you get some decent sleep.

[Rachel.i]

Well, I think I did enough whining/venting here the last week or two.... saw my pdoc today, which helped a lot, and realized too that I'd been slowly sliding from actively trying to get rid of this depression. Mindfulness started falling by the way, ruminations increasing, worrying about what some people do, when there's not a thing I can do to change them or some situations, and that I just have to let it go (much easier said than done, of course).

Downside... coming home from pdoc in thick traffic this AM, got in a bad accident. My new car totalled, other driver's too. It looked very bad so onlookers called ambulances, police cars came. But other driver & I both walked away. Was very shaken up, but so very thankful no one was hurt in a 50-mph collision. Never been in such an accident. Neither of us were cited. Next comes the insurance wrangling... what a day.

Seems a lot of people are having a rough time lately... hoping that it gets better for all.

[Grey Matter]

No ups or downs. Just staying alive I suppose.

(((Rachel I)))
So glad you are OK and other driver too! Sorry about your car as well. Best wishes for good resolution to the whole situation!

UPS
Get to see my daughter again...she starts school next week and wont see near as much of her
DOWNS
Very tired and sleepy. Emotionally drained. Broke as hell. That kid of mine needs so much stuff and I don't know how I am gonna get it for her. I hurt so much over it

[gayleggg]

I'm depressed and scared. I work full time but for a temp agency. The benefits suck so bad that it leaves me open to lose everything if I get sick an have to go to the hospital. I have quite a bit in saving that I was hoping to pass along to my daughter when i die but now I'm scared I want have anything. This fear has overtaken my life and keeps me anxious all the time. I just had a major blood clot in my leg that I'm still waiting to go away. I'm worried about complications. Let's just say my worry and anxiety or over the top. I'm 61 years old and can't seem to get an interview for a better job with better benefits. I'm thankful I at least have a job, but I've never felt so vulnerable. today the fear is particularly bad. Glad I have a place to put all this down.

[tokiwartooth]

I feel better today. Not quite as empty feeling.

[phaset]

The tons of energy I had last week as a side effect of my medication is gone. I do think I am having some results though. I don't feel as dead when I wake up in the morning despite still having problems with waking up multiple times during the night. I also seem to be able to control the amount of replaying and rehearsing of conversations in my head.

I've been really stressed since friday though. My therapist is pushing me to have a mental assessment done. On one of my first posts here I said that I have a ton of puzzle pieces that don't fit together, so maybe that will help me solve the puzzle. I have long standing problems from early childhood that I need answers to. I have decided that I want to do it, but I am so scared of talking to someone new, and what the results will be.

[tigerlily84]

Rachel! Wow so sorry that you were in that accident but I'm also glad to hear that you are ok! I hope that the insurance wrangling will go over quickly!

[Bark]

Oh wow, Rachel, I hope you are okay and aren't sore or anything. Hopefully the insurance pays for everything. I'm glad that at least seeing your doctor helped; it might have changed how you perceived the accident too. If I were in your place and depressed, I probably wouldn't stop blaming myself. I hope you're not doing that.