[radio_flyer]

I don't know, guess I am just wondering what does it "feel" like to be depressed. You can't see it. So I guess it is how one feels. Sooo, how does one feel when one is depressed...

Maybe I've been in denial and numb so long that I just take it for granted that the way I feel is just the way I feel which has become a "normal" feeling for me.......

[sundog]

For me depression feels like a heavy weight bearing down on me. It sucks the life energy out of me and makes every little thing exhausting. And yet, despite feelings of exhaustion there is also an inner agitation and restlessness that offers no chance of peace. It's a very physical feeling in my body. My limbs feel leaden. I have aches and pains and a general malaise similar to being sick with the flu. I don't want to do anything. And yet I can't stand doing nothing either. I have feelings of sadness and grief. Sometimes I have feelings of anger. Almost always feelings of self-hatred. I want to escape the feeling, but don't know how. I feel trapped in my own mind.

That's how I feel when I'm depressed.

Wishing you all the best (((((radio flyer)))))

[Elana05]

Boy Sundog, I can relate. Your description is right on for me too...
I guess I would add that on really bad days I have the "broken heart" feeling. I have this weight in my chest that I just can't get rid of and simply always want to break down in tears.
But on days like today I just feel tired.
Not tired like I need to sleep and will wake up well rested and ready to face the day. I wish for that. It is a different kind of tired. Sort of... tired and very confused. Listless. The way I get by is to simply have no extraneous movements.
The furthest I have been able to go today is doing housework.
I am trying to simply be proud of that.
I meant to get out and look for work but today I have given up on it again.
It's rainy and horrible outside and I know I will feel worse if I go out there...
So taking care of the house is it for me.

[onthemove]

Sundog's description was very good.

For me it's like being stuck at the bottom of a deep, dark well. I can see a way out (a ladder) but I either don't want to climb or can't find the energy to climb, so I stay stuck. Everything just takes sooo much effort. It's like swimming in treacle. Just making a cup of tea can leave me exhausted some days.

[lonegael]

Like sundag. Add a deep and gnawing, frozen core of something inside, like an animal or a dormant rage that is clawing around, more lost than really trying to escape. And anxiety that feels like an abyss will open up at any second right infront of my feet. Yech!!!!!!

[HereIamBp]

Life doesn't seem worth living. I try to escape life through sleep and while awake I think about death. Each movement takes a major decision. Its easier to pull the blanket over my head.

[Cherrios]

Whoa sundog hit the nose with this one. But in addition to sundog and everyone who has posted, I feel consumed with non-important issues in my life instead of looking/concentrating on the main issue of my depression.

[Fuzzybear]

Like sundog and shattered glass inside (where my heart is)

[Lilleth]

Can't think of anyhting to add all the above says it all . I would just like to fall asleep and not wake up.

[kebsfroggy]

It's living hell with torment and torture thrown in for good measure &
Never ending tears of sadness

It's like being punched in the gut and having your heart ripped out of your chest at the same time &
Never ending tears of sadness

It's like being run over by a truck and then having the truck driver run to you and start laughing &
Never ending tears of sadness

It tricks you into thinking all is well so it can come back and start the vicious cycle all over again &
Never ending tears of sadness

kebs

[dil5077]

Besides the well-described feelings by all, I can't look people or myself in the eye. Not that I do that frequently even when I'm "up", but I'm able to. The depression feels comfortable, something I want to snuggle into, and at the same it feels like something that might kill me.

[Naturefreak]

Like a lump of sh**

[kebsfroggy]

Only a lump....I'd say a pile and you are on the bottom looking up!



kebs

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by kebsfroggy

Only a lump....I'd say a pile and you are on the bottom looking up!



kebs

Thanks Kebs You have a very good idea what I mean , just maybe a little different situation .

[radio_flyer]

I feel bad because I don't know how to respond. I need to say something because I want to acknowledge everyone's response so the first thing I did was hit the "thanks" button to everyone..

My mind wants to run and hide and say "oo I don't relate to any of this". But then that would be a lie. Is hard for me to admit I have a problem. Guess I can sing and dance around "my issues" all I want, but then that doesn't help me or solve any problems. Guess the key is to admit one has a problem and then go from there..

So, here I am, reading stuff that totally relates to me and it just happens to be in the "depression" forum. Is very hard to say "yes, I have depression." For now, let me wander about in the "depression forum", then maybe I might get the guts to seek therapy. AM thinking, tho, if I try really hard, stay focused,
I might find "self-help" helpful...
Thanks everyone

I hope this is ok to say, but when I left here earlier, I did not know what I was feeling. I was feeling something but could not identify it. Well, I think I just identified what I was feeling.. There is so much pain folks here are feeling and to face my own pain, well it is overwhelming. I honestly don't know how I am going to deal with this. I need pretty flowers, curtains blowing in the breeze, scented candles, tea and cookies, low soft music. I can't face the darkness/pain head on... I am afraid of the dark..

[dil5077]

Originally Posted by radio_flyer

I honestly don't know how I am going to deal with this. I need pretty flowers, curtains blowing in the breeze, scented candles, tea and cookies, low soft music. I can't face the darkness/pain head on

This sounds like a great way to deal.
Have you checked out the Depression Screening found in the "Welcome" sticky at the top of the forum? (I'm not approved to post links, so perhaps the moderator will add it)

[radio_flyer]

I have taken the Depression Screening Quiz and I did not want to believe the results because in my "thinking" I did not "feel" depressed. Even tho I have taken the quiz many times and scoring "high", I did not want to "believe" the results.

So I asked what does depression feel like. Rather than seeing a score/result from a depression quiz, I could get an insight as to how depression feels. Guess it is harder to be in denial when one can relate to others that are feeling the same way. A quiz score, for me, can be tossed aside, maybe I just had a bad day when I took the quiz, or maybe I was tired or hungry and I wasn't accurate with my answers.

I think, for me, it is "validation" that what I am feeling is "real" because other folks feel the same, it must not just "be all in my head", there is some "validity to how I feel.

Anyway, thanks for the mentioning the link for the "depression screening". Looks like I've already been there many times..

[Wantabenormal]

Depression for me is crawling out of bed, and even though I'm standing on two legs....I feel like I'm still crawling.

Your mind races thinking of things you SHOULD do but you can find no energy TO do. (ie: shower, get dressed, make coffee for yourself, etc....)

However, in my case, you try to find the energy to please the ones around you with a nice dinner, clean home, etc..... and find that the ones you are trying to please don't appreciate what you have done.

So, you go to bed and cry yourself to sleep and wait for the next cycle to start tomorrow.

[Christine001]

When I am severely depressed it is basically head torture, the negative thoughts turn on the negative thoughts and you cant stop them. Basically rumination. before this it effects thoughts feeling behaviour and your body as people have said. if it gets to the rumination point I need serious help immediately but am at the point where I am less likely to seek help.

stay strong, work on taking control in small steps, best wishes

[Kiffygirl0793]

For me, it's reliving every painful thing from my past over and over again and not being able to stop it. It's horrible, it robs you of so much.

[blueoctober]

When in a major depression I feel like I'm dead. I have no interest in things that I used to enjoy. I feel worthless, a loser etc. etc. Past "mistakes", painful things that happened to me swim around in my head all day. It's a horrible feeling.

[madisgram]

for me, it is the darkest void and i sit in the middle of the void. blackness all around me. there is nothing there but me. physically there is a heavy, heavy weight on my chest. i cannot concentrate. i only want to sit in a dark room. i cannot talk many times. it hurts my head to try. it is the loneliest feeling filled with unknown fears, doom and gloom, no hope, no hope, no hope. i can't eat. i can hardly move. everything is too much. i am paralyzed with everything in life. i cannot help myself. i cannot even try to think my way our of it. totally overwhelming. sometimes i cry and cry and other times i feel emotionless except for the things i just wrote. it's the loneliest place in the world.

[Namyjay]

Your description is what ive been searching online for, something that mirrors mine. I kept thinking i was feeling catatonic. Body so heavy with a devastation that you almost cant lift your arms. Wanting to do nothing but unable to sit still.
Nothing satisfies and sleep is the only temporary escape. Not want to eat, walk stand, sit still, watch tv, listen to music, NOTHING. not wanting to exist.

i take medication but it doesnt even scratch the surface when a life changing thing happens to trigger this feeling.

magic pills??? is there any???

[awebb198488]

My depression feels like so many things all rolled into one. At it's worst, it is overwhelming sadness and a certainty that I am not good enough and that no one could ever really love me. That no matter how hard I try, I will never be worthy. It's an emptiness inside that can't be filled. I feel tired with no energy to do anything. At the same time, I feel as though if I don't keep moving the blackness will swallow me whole. I cannot summon the strength to get up and do something. So I stay stuck in this black hole that I can't climb out of. I eat, sleep, and go to work because I have to. Nothing brings me pleasure. At its best, I am still a little tired but I feel like spending time with friends and doing things. I find pleasure in things again. I still have a voice inside whispering that I'm not good enough but I tell her to shut her hole and live my life. I know I am loved and try hard to remind myself of that.

feels like time has frozen

no matter what you try and do, and what you try and take interest in, you can't... like you're at a standstill