I need help.

I'm a 20 year old male, student and I am in deep distress over what to do with my future. Growing up, friendship was non-existent for me as I was always the bullied kid. I had no one to go to for help. Now diagnosed manic depressive I now fear speaking/interacting socially, have tons of Anxiety(lack of social interaction?) left me with a very poor attention span and tremendous difficulty in concentration.I am also very depressed.
I need to find some friends and I do not know how. I know I should have some interests but I frankly have no idea what they are. I have troubles going to the grocery store and even getting out of bed. Going to class I clam up and shut up. I feel like i'm a chicken running with my head cut off. Deep depression used to be a part of me as a child and it is occurring again. It permeates my entire life because all day I think about disparaging negative thoughts about myself and it causes me to lack the motivation and will power. I keep on thinking of myself ending up in precarious situations and being inadequate.

the last part of this could have been written by myself. i understand perfectly what you are feeling.

we have to get up every day and just do our best. no matter what, we're doing what we can to exist. going to class is a triumph. a good grade is a triumph. helping a patient, for me, is good.

it sounds to me as if you probably need your meds tweaked. something is not working on your depression. it took me a very long time to get my drugs right and right now i'm thinking that i need a major change. sometimes psych meds poop out on us. it would be worth it to disucss it with your Pdoc. best of luck, love, pat

You sound alot like me...I can't even go to the stores anymore...someone has to grocery shop for me...I do work but drive straight there and back...I am avoiding people now...and the thing is I always liked people..but it gets harder and harder to go out...anyhow...welcome to you and I know you will find some really caring people here at pc and welcome to you....we will be your friends and help to make it easier to find some on the outside...Hello hello!!!!

I was supposed to go to the library with a friend today and I could not even go. What is wrong with me?

It's called bipolar...don't let it getcha.

There are so many things to do...the most important is to get the treatment you need from a psychiatrist experienced in the treatment of bipolar depression. You need to get on the meds that can help you feel better, only a good pdoc can help with that. You need to be in therapy with a good psychologist. Attend a support group for those with bipolar disorder--look up your local DBSA or NAMI chapters, here are the links: www.DBSAlliance.org and www.nami.org.

Get some excercise every day, preferably out in the sun. Eat regularly, good meals. Regular sleep cycle, 7-8 hours at night. Get up and go to class even if it feels like you're going to die. As you walk to class, put your head up, shoulders back and smile! Act like you want to be here, even if you don't. Say "hello" or smile at people as you're walking. You'll feel a lot better when someone smiles back.

I know all this sounds crazy, but this is what I have to do get through the day. I don't get them all done every day, but I try. You can do it, one step at a time.

Take care of yourself...and if you feel that you don't want to take care of yourself anymore, please go to the emergency room...we care about you. PM if you want, I've been there.

DJ

Welcome... I suffer from depression but not bipolar so i can't relate totally to your dilemna.

It sounds as if there are quite a few here who can relate thought I think you will find them to be wonderfully supportive and helpful.

I hope you are able to reach a point where you can do as Davey says... it sounds like he has the right idea. Whatever you do, don't lose hope for a betetr life.. it is possible.

Wishing you the very best...