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#1
Oct 18, 2013, 12:06 PM
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Does anyone else have this problem?
So far I have talked myself out of doing yoga (which helps me) and taking meds (which are also helping). I became much more angry, anxious, and stressed out when I stopped. I have started doing both again but I wonder what it was that made me decide to stop? Is there some part of me that wants me to be miserable? Then there are other things, on a regular basis, that I talk myself out of doing, things that would help me. For example, finishing an online course, buying vitamin supplements that my doctor suggested, making time to meditate. I want to do them but I tell myself it is pointless, why bother, it will be a waste of my time. And I listen to that voice even though I know it is wrong. |
 bronzeowl, NWgirl2013, Touch of gray, winter4me
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 winter4me
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#2
Oct 18, 2013, 12:12 PM
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I can relate to this..... depression seems to have some form of self-destructive side to it that even if we ever do get better... we sabotage ourselves right back into the darkness.
Almost like some goofy game. Good luck! |
| NWgirl2013
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#3
Oct 18, 2013, 12:42 PM
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Yes. It's the depression talking. It seems to take over & the inertia feeds on itself.
I do better when I have someone who sorta 'pokes' me into action, like a walking buddy to get me out of the house. But I thwart that too sometimes. For me, I am working around others at all times so I use that as an excuse too. But ultimately, I find it is a seesaw of doing well for awhile then falling off the ride, then getting back on. I never reach that level plane and stay there forever. If you ever figure this out, let me know! 
__________________
It only takes a moment to be kind ~ |
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#4
Oct 18, 2013, 01:08 PM
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Quote:
All we can do is "get back on the horse", over and again.
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"...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
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#5
Oct 18, 2013, 01:31 PM
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__________________
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#6
Oct 18, 2013, 03:03 PM
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I'm good at talking myself out of everything, then I get depressed because I didn't buy what ever it was I wanted. It drives me crazy. Oops I'm already crazy.
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
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#7
Oct 18, 2013, 07:25 PM
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yeah, i can relate to this. my (not even that comfortable dorm) bed is way too safe and i never want to go out and do things. i say i'm going to do all these things to improve my mental health-- starting a yoga classes, starting to jog, socializing at least 2x a week... i set all these lofty (well not even) goals that i never accomplish.
i differ from you in my hopes that meds can fix it all. i'll take anything my pdoc prescribes as long as it helps because i seriously feel like it can't get worse. |
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#8
Oct 20, 2013, 12:28 PM
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Okay well at least it's not just me. I think I'll bring this up with my T tomorrow. I don't know how I'll ever move forward in my life if I keep listening to that stupid voice.
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#9
Oct 20, 2013, 12:45 PM
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i've started doing this a lot recently.
i say.. oh, i'm going to do it- really, i promise i'll do it and all that... then like days before i'll come up with some excuse of why i can't do it |
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#10
Oct 20, 2013, 12:49 PM
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I don't think I talk myself out of things? Or do I?
Yes, I talk myself out of everything.
__________________
It's not as if this barricade blocks the only road It's not as if you're all alone in wanting to explode Someone set a bad example, made surrender seem alright The act of a noble warrior, who lost the will too fight. |
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#11
Oct 21, 2013, 09:29 AM
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I have to keep lists at work so my constant procrastination doesn't get me fired.
It's worse at home where there's no real threat to motivate me. Things I want to do, but just tell myself "no, not now. Maybe tomorrow. Or not.":
It's like the depression just says NO. It likes me better when I feel rotten, and it's fighting me tooth and nail to keep me that way.
__________________
"We will survive" |
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#12
Oct 21, 2013, 02:12 PM
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I mentioned it to my T and she says the voice is a protector. At some point in life it was formed in order to protect us from being hurt - maybe fear of disappointment or of failure. I think for me, I spent most of my life being bullied by people who were angry at me for my good qualities - for being smart and for being slim. They would insult me for these things, which made me want to gain weight so they would stop calling me anorexic (I wasn't). I wouldn't brag or feel good about good grades, because I knew I would be insulted for it. Even as an adult sometimes I would get snide remarks like how I'm like "Martha stewart" because I baked cupcakes and brought them in to share. I'm sick and tired of people who put me down whenever I show my good side. Just last week I had a coworker poking and prodding at my new position they just gave me at work, pointing out what she thinks is bad about it even though I'm happy about it. Maybe that's why I sabotage myself from achieving anything good, to get people off my ****ing back.
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