[IcryWhoAmI]

So lost, no one to help me or talk to

[seeminglyreal]

Feeling bad, both physically and emotionally. Getting ready for one more ****** workday. I'm so sick of this...

[herethennow]

down. really down. feel like crying but can't.. the tears wont come out. feels like i need an impetus to cry.

im just so so so sick of this.

[SomethingSomewhere]

In need of catharsis.

[StarStrike]

I've spend most of my day sleeping. Haven't gone anywhere other than just outside my door to let the dog out to pee. At one point I woke up in tears. Don't remember the dream. I feel so drained... So very low. And I feel so bad for getting mad at my boyfriend who woke me up by ringing me. I don't want to do anything. Just sleep... And I keep having horrible mental images of me hurting myself. Why am I even here?

[Clara22]

I am very sad today and crying, I would not like to talk to anybody, I should call my cousin who is getting divorced, will try

[healingme4me]

I spent some of today, catching up, on extra sleep. Wrestling free weekend. Meaning no early mornings, running around. It's been two months, gets exhausting. Another month and half, to go.
I'm remembering how hard, turning 29 was. I was depressed, and then some. A decade later, meh, whatever...
Enjoying my final 364 days of my30's. Kids are with their dad, for a couple hours, this evening. Going to return that bathing suit. It fits, but it's, meh....
I like last years suit, much better. I'm tainted by that one :-)

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

[Raggedy Man]

I thought I could hang on until Monday when I see my doctor. I couldn't. Miserable day today. I am so down I'm not sure I can go any lower. Resorted to SI. Nothing too serious. I am totally out of touch with my feelings, just know I hurt.

[Rose76]

I'm managing to get by, but it's real shaky.

[tealBumblebee]

Down. Down. Down.

I really shouldn't worry what others think of me. I'm worried that I'm interested in someone who might not be good for me at all, yet the loneliness is making me make irrational decisions, making me forget everthing I thought i knew about myself...and not talking care of myself and my needs first is not working for me
I realize I ddon't make sense... just needed a place to try to sort out my own thoughts and teh actions I'm taking..

Not much of a weekend so far. I went to the dentist today. It turned out better than I thought. I was really dreading it, but it turned out OK. Not much fun, but OK.

A good friend of mine is away for the weekend. He's gone to a men's retreat. I could have gone myself but I had things to do and wanted to save my money. I went to the retreat once before. It was good going to the seminars but the rooms were not that great to stay in. Very cold and cramped.

I was going to get a movie for tonight, but didn't see anything available that I would have liked. So I guess I'll just be on here and read later. Exciting!

[NaturallySoulSweet]

I don't know what's going on, but I DO KNOW WHAT'S GOING WRONG!

[StarStrike]

I stayed in my onesie until after lunch when my brother brought out the vacuum cleaner. I hate to admit it, but that thing terrifies me. He was only trying to fix it, but it was enough to get me dressed and out of the door with the dog. One of my socks has a huge hole in it. So when I took my shoes off upon my return, I discovered a large blister on the heal of my foot. I was out with the dog for over an hour. Turns out the vacuum cleaner couldn't be fixed. Then the dog got out of the flat as soon as my brother came through the door. It took the two of us, twenty minutes to get her back into the flat. She misses a house with a garden to rome around in and so do I. An upstairs flat is no place for a Jack Russell Terrier. But it's all we have and we cannot afford much. I can't even afford new socks and pretty much nearly every pair has a hole in them.

[herethennow]

is on the verge of crying. somewhat good coz well the tears havent been coming. but i just wish i could feel something else..

having a job interview in like idk how many hours and i havent slept and i really need a job. somewhere inside me is telling me that im not worth it, i'm not cut out for this job and i will fail it, surely.

just hoping it's the depression.

[Rose76]

I feel very lazy. It's almost as bad as being depressed . . . and it's related to depression.

[IcryWhoAmI]

I just can't even be bothered today. I can't eat, I can't talk, I just want to disappear.

[mulan]

Just feeling bad. Hopeless about tomorrow, hopeless about my recover and tired. This week will be terrible. How can I spend an entire week with two unkown people doing one of the things that tires me the most and demands me to be autosuficient outgoing and socialize a lot. I hate pratical classes. Ortopedia starts tomorrow.

I upped my dosage of Zoloft to 100mg and it's finally kicking in today, which was good because my parents came up to visit so I'm glad I mustered up a decent amount of energy for them! But other than that, I have to confront one of my professors about my absences so that'll be... interesting. I'm starting to get really anxious :/

[Clara22]

I called my cousin. She was about to go out or she just lied. It's OK. I imagine she may not want to talk about her divorce. I told her to come to visit me if she likes. She said she would do it. Then i called my mother's brother. I was upset because he did not help me to sort out things with my brother, who has a personality disorder and makes my life hell. I called him just to retribute a call he did new year eve. He was happy as i asked questions about his childhood, etc. I guess he is too old and alone. I cannot expect him to be supportive, plus he has always avoided conflict. Yesterday and this morning i had cried a lot. Afternoon, I made an effort to call these two people as my other cousin told me they were waiting for my call. I am trying to be more empathetic, as i used to be before my depression. I used to feel other people' s needs as mine and i was more open and considered. The fact is that i do not feel that sad now,mi mean after caling them. But i did not call them to feel better. In fact, it took a lot of energy to do it, it was more comfortable just keep reading or cleaning. But i forced myself to reach out, otherwise i will become a hermit. I think as much as we can, we have to make an effort to reach out.

[tigerlily84]

Spent the majority of the day looking for apartment listings online. I emailed the management companies of the ones that I liked and fit my budget. (I'm surprised that combination exists!) My goal this week will be to visit at least two of them and take pictures so I don't forget. Feeling accomplished!

[sunsetsunrise]

I have felt increasingly more depressed since my brother died. I have gone from a family of 5 when I was young to a family of 3 now. My father passed away decades ago. And my mother is quite elderly. My only other sibling who is alive can be very mean. So I always must pretend everything is just fine. Otherwise he might get very angry.

I miss my brother. He was unusually kind and caring and good. The best of us all. And now he is gone. And I do not know when the next one will leave. So I have been very depressed. I cannot be there for people right now. Which is hard because some people want that. I am fuzzy and I sleep. Just depressed

[TerryL]

i was just thinking today i wish one day we could all be open with how we are really feeling instead of feeling that we have to put on a happy face. i do that and i wish i had the courage to just be me.

[Rose76]

tiger - there is nothing like being organized! Good for you.

sunsets - I'm sorry you lost such a good brother.

As for me, I've been getting kind of messed up, but I've got to turn it around before it gets worse.

[tigersassy]

Haven't been truly depressed in a while. I've been mixed though so now I'm waiting on pdoc appt that isn't until april 21. Thats a long way off. But I can do it. (i think.)

-Tig