[wanting]

I have a girl from america who loves me so and knows ive been going through troubled times.she emailed me a little while ago tellin me ow much she loves me and wants us to be like we were when we first met,but my deppression i stopping me as though it is trying to stop me from being happy on purpose.Just oured another SC thats definatley 35cl now oh god please somebody help me

[behndblueyes]

"just oured another SC thats definitely 35c"

what does that mean??

[wanting]

That i am %#@&#!!!

[wanting]

can someone chat with me please i am so alone in this

[Perna]

You can't have someone "loving" you that you've never met. You have to establish a relationship over time. She may be "infatuated" with you but she doesn't know you, or you her just by email/Web. The situation/setup could be scaring you; you can't "reject" something/someone you don't "know." You have to have a "real" relationship before you can judge whether you want/don't want. You may be depressed but that's not necessarily why you're "reluctant" and not persuing the relationship.

[wanting]

I do believe tou can fall inlove with someone on line.I would like more views in this although.I do believe i love this woman also you see but i am currently,i know in a sensitive position rihgt now.

[Bleufacez]

It's not impossible to fall in love on-line. But speaking from experience... falling in love on-line than real life is completely different. We tend to project the other person on the other line the way we want him/her to be only to find... in reality that s/he is not as we think they are.

I always say... whoever says that misery loves company? Why do you think you're shutting her out? Are you embarrassed for her to see you this way? Or... are you freaking out because she says that she loves you but you're not able to reciprocate...?

[arod13]

wanting - don't know if i can help cause i do the same thing when it comes to shutting people out i do it all the time but wanted to send you my best wishes

i also really don't believe you can truly fall in love with someone over the internet meeting the person is a definate must you can start a relationship of some kind like friends but it does depend then on that first meeting

[wanting]

I truly believe that we are in love with each other ,but it is this side of me,the side of me that is here that i have not completeltly told her about yet although i have told her i am deprssed and drinking a lot and she says she still wants to support me.So as you can see do i let her in on the whole situation,i feel i should so she can make up her own mind,i may tell her about this place so she can veiw my posts also as that would be showing true commitment.What do you think

[arod13]

well it can show true commitment in a sense but you still have to be present in human form it is a lot easier for people to be supportive and committed to something if its over the computer not realizing the true commitment it takes when you are in person

[Bleufacez]

Arod is right - you have to meet the person. It's very different and impersonal via online. We are more honest because of the anonymity. I write more expressive emails to friends than verbalizing it - only cuz I know I won't have to see their reaction and will give them time to digest.

I shut ppl out cuz I have a fear of committment. I got anxiety attacks when I got engaged only to end up cancelling it 2 mos later. Before that... I got hives for being in a serious relationship. Not sure why... just not in my nature to be all lovey dovey.

But if you do love each other - then things will work out. They always do. Just give it a try... if you don't then you'll always wonder. It's normal to be nervous... we tend to shut down when we're having a fear or in a nerve wrecking situation. Just take it as it is... nervousness.

[wanting]

so true,i have allways believed that we could never truly be in love until we meet although i feel a love fr her as we are right now

[Fuzzybear]

Thinking of you,
Fuzzy

[heartspace]

wanting, I don't know about falling in love over the net. I think relationships are different irl, for so many reasons. But I do think it's possible to care greatly for someone, and it sounds as if she cares for you.
I'm not the best person for advice re: shutting people out, because I've had a tendency to do this myself. I guess I can recommend that you try to treat others with the same open-heartedness that you would like from them ,,,?
Best of luck

[faeryduster]

((((((((((((wanting))))))))))))

I personally believe that love can happen anywhere, anyhow. A physical face-to-face relationship, it's pretty hard to "snow" a person that way, true....but you love her, I believe that. But telling her that you're drinking a lot and have been extremely depressed does sound like you are testing her to see how far you can push her.....and then, when/if she seems to "back off from the relationship" it sounds like it would be a self-fulfilling prophecy for you. Then you can say, "See, I shut her out, I shut everyone off---therefore---I will continue to feel miserable."

Sounds like you need to change your "mind set". If you continue to set yourself up, you'll probably continue to get bowled over and be asking, once again, "why do I shut people out?"

Maybe you really need to sit yourself down and write out WHY you DO shut ppl out? Past hurt? Everyone's got that...think of something more on target.....

[JustAPixie]