[mulan]

I have people around me that worry about me and want to help me. My sister is the best, she can understsnd me and give me good advice...she had struggled with a similar situation. But I feel completly alone and I realize I've been alone my entire life.
Because the people around me always seem and feel like strangers. Like they are not in the same reality I am, since I feel disconnected from the world. I can feel decently to like them and if I'm not seeing is face is like they never exist or aren't there.
So it is stupid but I feel like I have been living all my life alone. And as the time went by I got more and more alone.

[Fuzzybear]

I know what you mean....

[Frankbtl]

Hi mulan, I know depression can cut you off from so many things and so many people but do you think you've been able to completely open up to people in your family about the way you've been feeling?
Maybe you'd feel just a little more closer to them if you felt they knew exactly how you'd been feeling and could be more "there" for you. Don't blame yourself or think there's something wrong with you for feeling as you do right now though, it can be pretty normal if you're feeling really depressed. The main thing is to get help, do all you can, and try and work through the way you're feeling and to bit by bit start to feel better.
But you're not alone and we're here for you if you want to talk (more).
Alison

[mulan]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi mulan, I know depression can cut you off from so many things and so many people but do you think you've been able to completely open up to people in your family about the way you've been feeling?
Maybe you'd feel just a little more closer to them if you felt they knew exactly how you'd been feeling and could be more "there" for you. Don't blame yourself or think there's something wrong with you for feeling as you do right now though, it can be pretty normal if you're feeling really depressed. The main thing is to get help, do all you can, and try and work through the way you're feeling and to bit by bit start to feel better.
But you're not alone and we're here for you if you want to talk (more).
Alison

I talk to them about some things, they know how I feel, but not about them. Because I think I would lose them, their support and that I would disappoint and betrayed them.
I take my meds, new combination but I don't think they are working. I feel worst this week. I hope help does help.

[Frankbtl]

Hi, it's really good that you've been able to let out how you're feeling but it does sound like you're bottling some stuff up?
Maybe they could offer you better support advise if they knew what was really going on for you, right down the line, and they may even be able to allay your worries about them being disappointed or betrayed, so maybe tell them a little bit more.
But otherwise do you have anyone who you can tell everything to instead of bottling things up, which has to make things even harder for you? Although there's still us!!
As for your meds, if they're a new combination do you think they may not have had time to "kick in" enough yet? Some can take a while. Although maybe worth checking in with your pdoc (?) then even if they've not had time to work yet they may be able to give you something to tide you over until they do.
Alison

So true.

Yet I still continue trying to be.

Much to my own consternation!

[mulan]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi, it's really good that you've been able to let out how you're feeling but it does sound like you're bottling some stuff up?
Maybe they could offer you better support advise if they knew what was really going on for you, right down the line, and they may even be able to allay your worries about them being disappointed or betrayed, so maybe tell them a little bit more.
But otherwise do you have anyone who you can tell everything to instead of bottling things up, which has to make things even harder for you? Although there's still us!!
As for your meds, if they're a new combination do you think they may not have had time to "kick in" enough yet? Some can take a while. Although maybe worth checking in with your pdoc (?) then even if they've not had time to work yet they may be able to give you something to tide you over until they do.
Alison

I really don't want to tell this to my family. I'm my father favorite daughter, I'm my sister support. I can't tell them that I never trully care about them, dispite I had always made a big effort in order to do so. I'm a pretender.
But yes, I guess I can talk with my doctor abouth this. Is just that my parents aren't realy good with empaty and sharing emotions. And I can't let down my syster in this way, because even so, she is the only person in whom I can trust and I know it would let her down. Knowing my family has I do, I know it would have the opposite effect in relation of what you were saying.
I prefer to say here. My next appointment is in a month, I'm on my meds on 3 weeks, but I guess there isn't a single slight change, because I feel so locked in the moment. I use to have focous on school and like to watch series (I've been depressed my whole life), but know i'm constantly forgotting about collegue, about studing and I can't watch series anymore... I'm tired of trying meds and waiting and have my life depending on the waiting time. I'm tired of believing this is the one that will work...but over the years I just get worst. I'm losing my life and my future.

Hey there! I'm sorry you're going through such a rough patch D: But let me tell you one thing that I've found comforting. Your life and your future? It's all waiting for you. And hey it may feel like it has taken a few years out of your life but you're still learning and still growing and you can still do it. It sure is a painful growth spurt but believe me when I say you aren't waiting. You're still moving and growing and living and as long as that is happening you can achieve a wonderful future. Please be more gentle with yourself you can still accomplish great things.

[mulan]

Originally Posted by keeprolling

Hey there! I'm sorry you're going through such a rough patch D: But let me tell you one thing that I've found comforting. Your life and your future? It's all waiting for you. And hey it may feel like it has taken a few years out of your life but you're still learning and still growing and you can still do it. It sure is a painful growth spurt but believe me when I say you aren't waiting. You're still moving and growing and living and as long as that is happening you can achieve a wonderful future. Please be more gentle with yourself you can still accomplish great things.

Thank you! I will try to remember this. Just hope you´re right since I had believing in things that had never happen all my life.