a waste..

I feel like absolutely nothing i do is ever right. ever. I am a complete and utter waste of space, and nothing feels real. I feel like i'm watching everything and am powerless to stop it. I've started cutting again, and some days it feels painful to even try and smile. School work is a blurr, and it seems as though no matter how much i study it doesn't make a difference. Can't concentrate ... and I miss how things use to be so incredibly much that i'm beginning to hate where i am.
I dont know what the point is anymore.

The point is to hang in there and be the best human you can be. It ain't easy and there is plenty of cruelty but for me if I can hold onto continuing and being the best I can, using my energies for good.

(((((((((((((( jacq ))))))))))))))

For me it was literally living one minute to the next. I have finally come to a point in my life where I acknowledge that I don't always do everything right but there is plenty that I can do, even if it isn't noticed. It hasn't been easy to move past those mistakes though.

I wish peace and strength for you (((jacqq)))

jacq10

you are not a complete and utter waste of space at all. never have been. the only thing i will say right now is that you need to focus on getting yourself better and healthier, and to stop worrying about schoolwork. it is knowledge that can be learned later on in life when you are happy and more dedicated to it. but right now you arent, and your mental health is far more important than education.

dont worry about the cutting for now, that will stop when you are able to deal witht he problems you have, so just try not to think about it and if you find yourself doing it, well it doesnt matter. its only a flesh wound that will heal eventually. and smile only if something makes you want to smile. nobody has the right to expect you to smile, and nobody ha the right to conduct your life for you, so just do what you need to do, however much of a risk it might be, as long as it helps you in the long run then do it.

i too miss the way things use to be in my life, but i have accepted that those things have happened, and im grateful for the ability to miss something, i dont have alot to miss form my past, but im still grateful i am able to feel that. its a good thing. it means you have the ability to remember the good times and cherish them, and that will last forever. but you have the chance now to make even more happy memories for yourself so in 10 years time you can look back at your life and smile at the memories. sure, there will be sad times, but you have so much to live for, so much to offer.

go easy on yourself and compliment yourself every so often, treat yourself to something liek a chocolate bar or an album or something just as simple. its these little things in life that make us appreciate things so just make the most of it. it will get better, i promise. just hang on in there and you will see the sun one day, and im sure its not too far away either.

take care of yourself,a nd i look forward to speaking soon

simon

Thank you guys for your kind thoughts/replies. I guess i've kind of been down a lot lately, and just hearing your encouraging words does mean a lot to me.

((((Jacq)))))

Believe me honey you are not a waste of space i love hearing from you

its always surprising how words of encouragement can lift us so much. thats one of the reasons PC is good, because you can turn to honest, loving people for comfort and support whenever you need it.

things will pick up jacq10, i promise. it just takes alot of hard work along with support and encouragement. but you will get there, i have all the faith in you.

stay strong and remain being kind to yourself.

simon

Of course, you're not a waste of space. You are just having alot of depression right now and that will take every ounce of energy from the body. That's why it's so hard to study. You aren't able to retain what you read. That goes along with depression. It can hurt is physically, mentally and spiritually. Just try and keep your head above water and take care of yourself. It will get better.
Linda

(((Sammi)))) (((Simon)))) (((Boopers)))
Thank you